I just need intelligent feedback, my daughter is SURE I am just being a B!t@#.
Anyone have feedback I can bolster myself with?
ecb
Is this a church mission trip or a school trip?
Here is what the state department says:
This Travel Warning updates ongoing security concerns in Colombia and reminds American citizens of those concerns. This supersedes the Travel Warning issued January 18, 2006.
The Department of State warns U.S. citizens of the dangers of travel to Colombia. Violence by narcoterrorist groups and other criminals continues to affect all parts of the country, urban and rural.
Violence has continued to decrease markedly in most urban areas, including Bogotá, Medellin, Barranquilla, and Cartagena. The level of violence in Cali, Buenaventura, and the surrounding areas remains high, largely as a result of the illicit drug trade. Many rural areas of Colombia remain extremely dangerous due to the presence of narcoterrorists and Colombian government operations against them.
Terrorist groups such as the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia (FARC) and the National Liberation Army (ELN), and other criminal organizations, continue to kidnap civilians for ransom or as political bargaining chips. No one can be considered immune from kidnapping on the basis of occupation, nationality, or other factors. The FARC have held three American official contractors hostage since February 2003. Although the U.S. government places the highest priority on the safe recovery of kidnapped Americans, it is U.S. policy not to make concessions to or strike deals with kidnappers. Consequently, the U.S. government’s ability to assist kidnapping victims is limited.
U.S. government officials and their families in Colombia are permitted to travel to major cities in the country, but only by air. They are not allowed to use inter- or intra-city bus transportation. They also are not permitted to travel by road outside of urban areas at night. All Americans in Colombia are urged to follow these precautions.
As the Department develops information on potential security threats to U.S. citizens overseas, it shares credible threats through its Consular Information Program documents, available on the Internet at [U][COLOR=#0000ff]http://travel.state.gov[/COLOR][/U]. U.S. citizens should consult warden messages for Colombia at [U][COLOR=#0000ff]http://bogota.usembassy.gov/wwwsc093.shtml[/COLOR][/U], as well as the Department of State’s Consular Information Sheet for Colombia and Worldwide Caution Public Announcement at [U][COLOR=#0000ff]http://travel.state.gov[/COLOR][/U]. U.S. travelers can also get up-to-date information on security conditions by calling 1-888-407-4747 in the U.S. or Canada or on a regular toll line at 1-202-501-4444.
NO.
I second Ingrid’s motion. I have to say absolutely not. People there are being killed. Normal people. People that went there to have a vacation. JUST LIKE YOUR DAUGHTER would be!
Tell her until she is of legal age you have to decide for her. Tell her you have decided that you would rather her be alive and be upset with you, than happy with you and dead! It’s that simple.
I am only 23 and not a mom yet… someday…
but Unless this was a trip planned with a group, like school, church, youth org, or she would be going with a friend’s family whom you know well and trust, and you were fully aware of what areas they were planning to visit… maybe. Depending if I felt she had earned my trust, and was deserving of a nice vacay.
But even still… I can’t imagine any trustworthy group going to Columbia.
I wanted to go to Quebec for new years when I was 15, this was unchaperoned, planned by students, as an excuse to go get drunk underage and what not. It was only 60 bucks. My mom said no, but instead sprung for the school planned 3day trip to NYC, which was MUCH more expensive, because she felt I earned it and didn’t kick up any dust over no Quebec.
[SIZE=6]NO!![/SIZE]
I can say I wouldnt let my 17 year old daughter go without me, so you are not being a bitch.
[FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue]What kind of a trip is this? Is this just a trip going with a friends family? Where would they actually be?[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff]State dept. not with standing hasn’t got a clue.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff]Unfortunatly the world is not the same place it was when we were 15. I went on many school trip’s overseas. With nothing going wrong. But then most of the world was no[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff]t trying to get those of us that lived in North America, or anywhere else for that matter…[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff]If it’s a school trip, well supervised, I would most likely let her go.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff]A very good friend of my son’s was killed in an avalanch on a school trip about 5 years ago. Everyone was up in arms over the fact that these kids had died on this trip. It was well planned, well supervised, and they all had training. And it still happened. If my son had attended the same school, he would have been on that trip to. And may or may not have survived. You can’t keep your kids in sight, just because there are dangers in the world.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff]We can’t live our lives, wondering, “What If”, if we did, no one would ever leave there houses.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff]I would find out all the info I could on the trip, involve your daughter in the process, and if it’s organized, most likely let her go.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff]It would most likely be a once in a life time experience for her…[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
The Columbia…huh? Do you mean Columbia the country? The university? The river?
I’d have to say NO WAY though regardless.
My 15 year old wouldn’t get to go, either. Just wouldn’t be happening.
I guess I grew up in a more progressive house! Unless there was a clear and present danger I was encourage to explore and do, live, experience new things.
H to the L to the L to the NO!
I’m 38 and I don’t think MY mother would let ME go.
Your not being a B…your being a good mom.
Thnk you all for your suport, I cannot Thank you all in one day
School trip kinda, in that ONE person is coordinating and promoting this trip to the kids by pitcing it AT the school. No one has spoken to me about it, and I will need for heven and earth to be moved before I will let her go someplace like that unsupervised, or undersupervised (like last year at the Yukatan Penninsula).
Her response is that I will not let her because I think she is a coke-head (I have never thought that) I will not let her because she is not good at avoiding peer pressure without HUGE incentives (I give her and inch…She takes a Mile…and then complains that I do not understand…). She has most of the people in her life seeing her as majorly reponsible and overly mature (I used to as well)
I do not plan to let her leave the country again until she is 18 and paying her own way (that is not what her college fund is for) At this point, I really regret giving her all those “People to People” learning oportunities now. She thinks its her RIGHT to go overseas, or whatever just becasue she wants me to trust her (not becasue she has EARNED my trust)
I hate this part of parenting
ecb
Good Mom, STAND YOUR GROUND! My answer would be a loud and resounding "NOT JUST NO BUT H*** NO!
And to be perfectly honest, I would be up at the school asking questions–who is this person pitching an international trip to my underage daughter, has the school checked this person out, is this a school-sponsored trip, will there be chaperones, what’s the itinerary, how will they be traveling and where will they be staying.
If the answer to even one question is ‘no’ or ‘I don’t know’ I would immediately point out that by allowing this person to come to the school to promote the idea, the school was giving implied support of the trip and therefore could be legally held resposible if the kids came to harm through any inappropriate or incompetent action on the part of this person.
Can you tell I have serious reservations about the judgement of a school administration that allows someone to come in and coax a minor out of the country for even 5 minutes?
Only two words to share:
Natalie Holloway
She was lost on a “kinda school trip”. Kids (heck, adults, too) use bad judgment at times and can sometimes be persuaded to do things they wouldn’t normally do. I personally just don’t think it would be safe for a 15 year old.
Ecb, we all have to make judgement calls based on what we know about our children. From what you’ve said, your daughter has taken advantage of you before. She has proven to you that you can’t trust her. Plus, you don’t know the people she would be going with. You can, without any guilt, say no. But, you also need to remember that you are the parent and do not need to justify your decsions. No means no. Period. Your daughter needs to accept that without question. Period.
FYI…I would not let my daughter go either, unless it was a mission trip with our youth group.
No way! And you’re not being a bitch!
I’m 26 and not a mom–but seriously, no.
I realize I’m a curmudgeon, but in my world (back in myyy day–way back in the late 90s :teehee:) there was no such thing as “Spring Break” in high school. It was called “spring vacation” and you spent the week using the opportunity to work at a camp or something for 40 hours instead of the usual 15 (which is what I worked during school) to earn money for things like clothes, car insurance and summer spending. Plus there were double sessions and rehearsals for sports/dance.
My mom would’ve laughed my ungrateful butt right outta the house if I dared to demand she send me on an exotic vacation–one she’d never afford for herself–whilst underage, and then ask HER to foot the bill! Hah.
Stand your ground. You are being 100%, completely reasonable.
No.
My dh is a youth pastor. We take trips with teens every year. I personally, will more than likely be taking a few students to China this year.
That being said…every adult connected with the trip will be grateful if they have one less student who is going to try and push their boundaries in a foreign country. Forget foreign countries - we took a group to New York City a few years ago for a “service trip” (meaning we went to hospices and just sat and talked with people, we took food to the homeless and sat and talked with them…etc). I had the hardest time keeping them all together in one place without wandering off. They didn’t even know the address where we were staying, they didn’t know where we were…but they figured they could just wander off and if they got lost, they could ask a policeman to help them.:roll: So if you don’t trust your daughter to go, don’t let her go. Period.
There were lots of things that my mom didn’t let me do…and at the time, I was so mad at her for being so mean to me. Now, I’m grateful my mom cared enough to say no. Most of my friends’ parents didn’t really care what they were doing.
Absolutely not.