my only sad gift story is a few weeks back i made my mom some slipers and my sister (who still lives at home) took them one day and lost them she didnt even ask my mom! so i keep going on at her to find them they were handmade not for her ect but she justs says so make another pair. and i am but thats sooo not the point! i have made my sister a cardi for her baby on the way but i know she wont be thankfull as shes had knitted gifts of one of her kids nanna before and left it to get mold on it. i once took her two girls to a photorgphy shoot and mounted and framed the photos they were left on the flour and then trown away never mind eh?(@HY&^(GGDF*K)$^JF COST TIME EFORT)i am at this very moment makeing slipers for a woman i never met (my taxi drivers wife) and i bet she loves them more then my 2 sisters love anything i ever gave them(even the jewled cross i got my sister for her 16th that i took a extra job to pay for was lost ina week grrrrrrr) id still make them gifts tho but not ones that took forever like a jumper.
I have an empty nest. Our younger daughter flew the coop 6+ months ago. Freedom! We love it 
Sunny
I have an empty nest. Our younger daughter flew the coop 6+ months ago. Freedom! We love it 
Sunny
I feel really bad about some of these stories I’ve read. Some of the gift recipients mentioned in the stories are real jerks.
I have been making things for people’s babies. And I was afraid that they didn’t like them at first, until more of my friends got pregnant and then started hinting that they hoped they would get a handmade gift from me. I have a general rule- I don’t make standard blue and pink baby stuff. My friend Grace is having a baby shower in about two months, she knows she is most likely to get something from me that won’t be pale pink (actually, I found a really cool looking fuschia yarn I am going to use- and that is the closest thing to pink that I will allow.)
I do “screen” my friends to see who wants something and let them pick things out like the colors. But if anyone is not wearing something I made or if they make a negative comment, I will tell them to give it back because I always make things that I like as well. I’ll wear it if they won’t. But they won’t get another handmade thing from me, I can promise you that.
And for those people who have the friends who keep asking for you to make something for them, and then when you do make them something, they don’t wear it: tell them NO. Tell them that it hurts your feelings that they don’t appreciate what you have done for them. Just like those people who don’t write thank you notes (or emails) anymore because they have forgotten proper etiquette- it is OK to remind them that they are being rude. Just do it nicely. Besides, what are friends (or family) for?
V.
My DH is a big fan of Doctor Who and has been since he was a kid. Ever since he was a kid, he’s wanted a scarf like Tom Baker. His mother took it upon herself to make one for him. I guess to put it politely, she looked at the one on TV and crocheted DH something that doesn’t even look like a Doctor Who Scarf. The scarf is very long, consists of seven colors in a very random stripe sequence, with the stripes being random heights, knit in garter stitch.
This scarf was crocheted using double crochet and it looks more like a knitted drop stitch than garter stitch, there is not one single color in it that’s even close to what’s in the actual scarf, the size of the stripes don’t even look like the stripes in the actual scarf. My DH hates it. He doesn’t come right out and say it, but I can tell that he hates the thing. He won’t wear it out in public because he’s so embarrassed by it. And yet, he hangs onto it, because, as he puts it, it’s the only thing he has that’s even close to an actual Doctor Who Tom Baker scarf he’s got. And it’s not even close at all. There is nothing in it that would make it somewhat recognizable as a Tom Baker Doctor Who Scarf. I have this feeling that this scarf is why he doesn’t like anything that’s crocheted. I wish he would at least give the scarf away to charity or Goodwill or something like that, so someone can get some use out of it and he can stop being so miserable. Knowing my MIL, she probably took one look at the scarf on TV, thought, “It’s stripes, what’s the difference” and crocheted this scarf for DH without taking the time to find out what it’s actually supposed to look like. It makes her look like she doesn’t really care enough to take the time to make it properly. Granted, this is a replica of something from a television show, so there is proper a way it’s supposed to look like. For other things that aren’t replicas from TV and the movies, it’s probably more of a size or color issue.
I guess there isn’t much point to this story, other than to back up hocns point. But even if someone makes you something and it’s “wrong”, it still doesn’t give a person the right to be rude if they don’t like it. I’m not insinuating at all that anyone here makes “crap” when they made a gift for another person that wasn’t appreciated. (I’ve seen your FO’s in the other forum. :)) In this case, and knowing my MIL, it was more of trying to make herself look like the Coolest Mom in the World in DH’s eyes, than caring enough to take the time to make him a replica of something that means a lot to him and to make it properly. That scarf is something that means so much to him and that show is something that means so much to him. I know that’s why he hates the scarf he got from MIL. It goes down to deeper issues than a scarf and I’m not a psychiatrist, and I won’t bore you all with the details.
As soon as the rest of my yarn comes in, I’m going to knit DH that Doctor Who Scarf he’s been wanting for years.
I will not knit for MIL. Not happening. The woman barely uses any of the Christmas gifts we’ve bought for her, so I’m sure as heck not going to knit her something. I made a Clapotis (just because I wanted to knit one) and asked DH if she might actually wear it, as she’s perpetually cold in restaurants & such. He said he’d have to ask her and I told him not to bother. If he has to ask, then it won’t be appreciated.
I enjoy the knitting, but if I give to someone then it [I]darn well[/I] [B]better[/B] be appreciated!!
Now my DH truly does appreciate things, and he’s only received practice washcloths and my hideous first pair of socks. He’s worn the socks constantly since it got cold enough to wear them. 
He can see first-hand and knows how hard I work on knitting things.
Oh gosh… it’s terrible of me, but I LOLed when I read that!
not always true…
Sometimes they make nasty remarks out of jelousy that they’re too intimidated to attempt to make what you have made
and as for keeping things… i STILL have, in my keepsake box, two tangles of yarn with a crochet hook in one and knitting needles in the other… 
One, in verigated red heart with the crochet hook is my “pokemon” that my now 9 year old “crocheted” for me (while i was pregnant with his younger brother and working on an afghan) when he was two.
The tangle of red heart in blue (leftovers from his sweater) with the two plastic red heart knitting needles in it is from my youngest… he’s still deciding what it is…
Ann maybe rather than not putting in the effort to do a scarf properly your MIL did not realise that getting the exact shades used in the scarf and making the stripes all the right size was important to it being a Dr. Who scarf? Maybe she thought that a Dr. Who scarf was just a striped scarf and she wasn’t being lazy.
Whay does hub find it embarrassing? Is it badly made or a combination of really bad colours? I don’t see how the fact that it is different colours alone would make it embarrassing. Also, from her point of view, hub has done what everyone here is empathising over… said he really wanted something, was given something as a gift that was made by hand with thought and care, and it was never worn at all. Maybe that’s why some of you are experiencing the same thing is that possible?
Expressing gratitude for a gift is one thing but using/needing/wearing something unsuitable or something you don’t like is another.
When my daughter-in-law was pregnant with my first grandchild, now 3, I knitted a big rug. A lot of love, effort and excitement went into it, plus the yarn cost the earth - not that that mattered, as it was for MY granddaughter! I also knitted some little cardigans and beanies, all cute, all modern. I was so excited when I gave them to her but she barely looked at them. She’d just had the baby, she was in hospital, there was lots happening… I made excuses for her… I thought that surely she’d mention them later.
She never did, nor did I ever see them being used, and I was hurt. Didn’t say so, just decided never to knit for her again.
She recently gave birth to my 3rd grandchild and commented on how cold it had been at night. I asked if she would like me to knit her a rug for him. YES!!! So I went like mad, sat up to all hours for 3 days and posted it off to her. She loves it, and she uses it. I’ve also noticed that the first unused blanket I made, for my granddaughter, is now also being used for my new grandson.
What a difference a thank you and some feedback on how much a gift is appreciated would make. Who knows, perhaps all this time she DID like what I knitted 3 years ago and if only she’d told me I would have avoided a lot of hurt and she would have received many more knitted gifts.
The good thing is that knitting for her got me back into knitting… hadn’t done it for about 30 years… and now I knit baby items constantly for friends who appreciate it, or for selling on eBay. All modern in style and colour as I know that that is what young mothers appreciate these days. And I can’t wait till my two daughters have babies as I know they DO take pride in what their mum makes and will be very happy to have things made for their babies.
This isn’t a matter of colors being a shade or two off what was in the scarf. These were colors that aren’t even in the scarf at all. As I said in my previous post, this is a replica of something from a television show, so size and color do matter. There’s geek cred involved in this, too. That scarf is something from that show that is very recognizable. You shouldn’t have to go into a room full of fellow fans and have to explain what it is.
That aside, though, DH told her what it was supposed to look like, and she ignored him completely and did her own thing. She has a pattern of doing this sort of thing to him throughout his entire life.
Dumb question…this Dr. Who scarf thing had me scratching my head, so I went to drwhoscarf.com to see what it looked like. According to the “history” section, there have been a few versions of the scarf - are any of them considered passable, or is only one version acceptible? Just curious.
it depends on the season… dh wants the “original” tom baker one (season 14)… it’s a matter of how much they’ve embraced their inner geek
I don’t have that many people that I won’t knit for.
This thread got me thinking about people who appreciate handmade gifts, and my Dad is at the top of the list. I made a bunch of scarves in 7th grade and some of them were pretty short. They ended up in the family scarf/mitten/golve/hat etc box by the front door and I still see Dad wearing one every once in a while. I made a tool box for him in 8th grade shop class and he was so excited that I made it. He kept it in his trunk and I think he still uses it.
My family has been pretty appreciative of the things I made them.
Mirl,
Wow what an incredible and amazing compliment your husband is giving you about your craft. Some husbands don’t even notice, yet yours did! If you have a concern with saying no to him that you can’t and don’t have something to offer, that’s something else. But he is complimenting you very highly. You’r very lucky to have such a nice husband.
Nancy
To number 87… You’re right it’s hard to say if it’s jealousy or just out right bad manners.
I do have a good story though… my mother in law is a supreme knitter, chrocheter, quilter, lace maker… and I made her an afgan without thought that it might not be wanted! It was a varigation of pinks, lovely to my taste. She has it out laying on the ottoman, always in sight, always being used even if for feet. It does NOT go with her living room… but she has it there any way… I love the compliment.
So I must amend… most knitters I know I might not knit for… don’t want to make them ‘jealous’ ehhehehehhe Thanks for your encouragement… it’s nice to have the little mental push to keep knitting and be supported that my effort and time DO have value… with my poor brain it’s a wonder I can hold a needle without poking my eye out! Sometimes it’s an extreme effort just to concentrate on a pattern… so it’s HUGE effort sometimes to knit. Thanks for your support with that.
Nancy
Cookworm typed: “What can it hurt to drape an afghan over a couch that you made for somebody when you’re going to come over for a visit to their home, even if in reality, the person may never uses it? What can it hurt to put on that scarf or sweater or an adorable little lace dress a new grandmother made for her new granddaughter on for visits that you’re going to see that person so they can see how it looks being worn?”
This is a very good point even if there were no hurt feelings out there. I’ve a brother in law who taught me a great great lesson. When he is given a gift especially of clothing he makes a point to wear it in front of the person who gave it. So a new shirt even of colours he would never wear he would put the shirt on when visiting that person on Christmas day… or whenever, but as soon as possible as he could. (Of course long distances excepted.)
But why not wear the thing? Even if it’s lopsided and ill coloured, and whatever. Sure if it’s immodest or too small… but has that been mentioned at all? No… no one has been hurt by people not wearing belly shirts cuz it was knitted too short by mistake. What does it hurt to wear colours that are geeky… as if our lives are run by what others judge. I suppose if a person is shallow enough to be humiliated by the colours of a sweater… then no they are not a person to knit for. So maybe the maturity of the recipient is the factor more than the waste of time and effort AND money of an unappreciated, or literally stepped on gift.
Maturity doesn’t cost that much pride to in the end give appreciation appropriately for a gift. I think a wise man said… -A lack of appreciation is the worse thing to do… it is to return evil for a good act.- And that’s just wrong.
Why not just wear the funky thing? Who does it hurt? Certainly not the giver for whom MANY kindnesses is deserved and hello! will be appreciated in most cases.
Nancy
Thanks Nancy, now can you tell my daughter that? PLEASE??? That dress looked soooo good on the baby, but it only got worn twice and then it was too small. What a waste of time and energy. It wasn’t ugly. It was nicely made. It fit nicely. It looked wonderful on her. It sat in a closet for a year. That HURT! It’s ok, I have a picture of her wearing it and carry it with me always. She can’t take that away from me. No one can…
This is my little angel wearing “that dress” just so that you can see it was pretty. It looked good on her. Oh well, at least I thought it did.
she looks absolutely adorable and good job on the dress grandma!