So far I’ve only knit things for charity and family. My family sees me knit and knows how much time and effort goes into my gifts so they appreciate it. I did knit for a friend once but that was because she saw a pair of Fetching I had made and begged me to knit her a pair too.
For me, it’s not about the money that goes into it (although that can be considerable too), it’s about my precious time. There’s so much stuff that I want to knit, I wouldn’t waste my time on knitting something for someone who doesn’t appreciate it.
I can understand how some people think it’s cheap. Before I started knitting, I figured that all yarn was the same and it was a way to save money. Now I know better.
I wouldn’t knit for most of the knitters I know. They wouldn’t appreciate an article they themselves could knit far better than my learning.
I like the ideas of asking others if they would accept knitting, or knitting for those who ask. It’s best to know, with as much effort as is given to an item, if it will be accepted or not.
This post reminds me of a time I baked bread and took a loaf around to all the neighbors… one lady said, “No, thank you.” I was really shocked… even if it was white flour and they didn’t eat it… she could have still taken the loaf and given it to a ‘white bread eater’ whom she knew needed bread. Was strange to be told no. Needless to say I never tried to give her anything else. I didn’t believe she would have taken it. (She missed out on some great cookie days… but they were made with white flour too, so maybe it wasn’t that much of a loss for her and her family heheh)
I am very lucky, I think. My husband’s family all love the effort of handmade items. I want to be able to knit for everyone, but I get so little time to knit in the first place, that the pieces I do knit are for husband and son and myself. This Christmas I am doing a lace scarf made of mohair for one MIL and for the other MIL (step mother who is very sweet) a cabled scarf in sportweight alpaca and cashmere. I hope they actually get use out of them.
I do have parents of my own, but I removed myself from their lives about twenty years ago. I imagine that they wouldn’t really appreciate my hand knitted items.
I don’t have much to add to this thread other than I’m just absolutely floored by the rudeness of some people. :noway: Even if someone gave me something I didn’t necessarily like, I can still appreciate the effort and time that was put into it as well as the person’s intention behind it.
I haven’t knit much for other people, but those people who’ve gotten something I’ve knitted seemed to appreciate what I gave them. My DH still wears the first too short stockinette stitch scarf I made for him.
I absolutely will not knit for my best friend or my best guy friend. I once knit a cell phone cozy for my best friend and she never used it and last time I was over, I saw it in her dogs bed, underneath the sleeping dog. And my best guy friend likes to play with fire and I’m too scared that he’ll be wearing one of my scarves when he lets off a flint bomb and it’ll get burned or something. It makes me shudder to think of one of my precious scarves being singed.
:roflhard: :roflhard: I"m sorry but i just found that soo funny. Not worried about your best guy friend just worried about the scarf. and what reallllly funny is that I feel EXACTLY the same. when i read that i was aww hell no i would never knit for him either.
I wont knit for my father. He will be like its nice and then put it away never to be seen again. though he likes to watch me knit. weird.
I won’t knit for my new “aunt” my uncle is a year older than me, and his wife (my new aunt is 7 years younger than me) she is so crappy to my uncle that i won’t knit for her. that bitch dont deserve it. She actually said in front of my uncle and the WHOLE FAMILY that if she met my brother first she would have gone after my brother and never have dated my uncle.
I won’t knit for my BF’s sil or his nephews. they wouldn’t appreciate it. they are very materialistic. I usually buy them learning gifts which they love so if i “cheap” out with a knitted gift I know it will go on the dog bed.
My lil sister is the best person in my family because she makes requests. and she USES THEM!!! and then tells everyone that her big little sister made it for. (she’s taller than me). She specifically called me in October and said she wanted a knitted gift and I said great cuz you were getting one, I was thinking of a shrug, she said But she really loved the scarf from last xmas and requested 2 more in 2 different colors.
My twin loved the sweater that i knitted her so much that she pimped my skills out and I have my first commissioned knitted request. But she is my twin, she is forced to like whatever I give her . And she will wear it because she knows that i worked hard on it.
My bf loved the scarves that i knitted him and used them all the time but then I made this beautiful aran sweater for him that I sweated over for 3 months. never wore it. He picked out the yarn and everything. even picked the pattern. I even reseamed it when i learned a better seaming techinque. but nope never wore it. Requested a hat. called it his muslim prayer hat and he is not muslim. granted it was my first hat attempt and it wasn’t that great.
my brother just made his first request and lets see how he does. My mother is great. she makes a bunch of requests and will use them and or give them to her families that she counsels.
But surprisingly enough the person who was the most grateful of my knitted gifts is my Best friends 4 year old daughter Gloria. My best friend is about to have another baby. Gloria was happy about the new baby until Gloria found out that I am knitting the new baby a blanket and COMPLETELY FLIPPED OUT!! She was like NOOOO Auntie Christie makes ME knitted things because she LOVES me enough to work at my presents. Auntie Christie made my blanket so Auntie Christie needs to buy the baby a blanket. I actually had to get on the phone with her (long distance) to calm her down. and take a request for what would she like as well.
I was freakin stunned that a 4 year old somehow understood the time it took and the love that went into a handmade gift. Gloria put her foot down though and told me I could not put the baby’s name on the blanket like I did hers.
lol Yeah, I could care less if he got burned. lol, Maybe it would teach him something. I just think that if he wants to play with fire, then he doesnt get my knitting. Its like if somebody gave you a cake, baked with love, and you accidentally dropped it in a campfire. I do not think so, sir.
I’ve only been Knitting for about 6 months and I’m planning several easy gifts as Christmas presents - hopefully they will all be happy with them: dishrags, beer cozy’s, etc. My kids see me knit and I have gift items that I better start soon for them socks and beanie. I’m having a hard time with the provisional stich for the beanie, even after watching the video 20 times. I’ll get it but at least I know they want them and will use them.
I’ll have to wait until after the holidays to see if I will knit again for friends and/or family. I have knit slippers for my son and he loves them although he hasn’t had much need for them yet. It is finally starting to cool off in Southern Florida. It finally feels like fall.
Thank you to all you gave your comments so I’ll know what to and not to expect.
It makes me sad to read the replies below…I couldn’t even imagine…
I also tend to knit for just the enjoyment of it… I don’t really keep things for myself…[SIZE=1]except socks :oo:[/SIZE] …but most of the time even in Ravelry when asks who for you will see a ? :teehee: …
My family has always dabbled in something…someone either crochets, quilts, does hand work, or something…dad is our builder…so they really do understand the time it takes… they don’t expect me to knit for them but when I do they are very pleased and I’ve never heard a bad word…well my dad puts in requests of what I should knit him next soooo ya know :teehee: …mom is knitting herself now so I don’t find myself knitting for her as much…but getting her notions or yarn…
My dh’s family well let’s just say that my husband is so proud of my knitting that when I knit for them…I do it for him cause I can tell when I’m asked it’s cause he loves my knitting and is very proud of my work…I’m not sure if my items are used or not…we don’t live close to them…my FIL says he wears the scarf I knit for him but even if for some reason they don’t…that’s ok…I enjoyed the process of knitting it and have a very proud dh who tells them all she made that… she really did :teehee:
Ok I did think of one person I don’t want to knit for and I’m having trouble being positive about this year… My SIL… I made Christmas ornaments for the families but I can’t seem to make her one… to much pain and hurt over the last few months…but right now she is still my SIL and it is the Christmas season…sigh so that is my inside battle right now :teehee:
i will never again make ANYTHING for my MIL. i made her an afghan, i’ve seen her use it once (crocheted). I made her a doily (crochet) that has gone “missing”, i made her hot pads and pot holders (again crochet) that she LEFT BEHIND when they moved out of their house. She would never use them… dh and i went in to get the last bits with BIL (BIL lives with them still) and there they were, still hanging on the wall… i grabbed them, i’m still livid. FIL will use them (his mom used to crochet and knit) and i told him i can always make more.
I think i’m going to knit him a hat in the buffalo sabres colors (maybe a matching striped scarf as well). I know he’ll use it.
I will also never make anything for my side of the family either. they’re very cruel when it comes to homemade gifts and vindictive (very nasty bunch actually regardless of the subject once you go and show any independence).
Who will i make things for? my two kids… i crocheted them afghans, they’ve worn them out (holes in them now), i stayed up late for 2 nights a couple years ago crocheting mittens from a pattern that i severely modified for my youngest son’s school play (they had to do the mitten song… the teachers waited until MAY to tell us and my kids are glove kids). he STILL has those mittens and STILL wears them… they’re actually getting too short so i need to make him some new ones… I also need to make my dh the Dr. Who scarf he’s been asking for, but i’m worried he won’t wear it once i do make it because he’s always so afraid of the things i make getting ruined (you should have seen how livid he was when some of the christmas ornaments i’d made got ruined or when the cats peed on the front of that harry potter sweater i’d done!)
I will also go and knit for the Lady of our tribe (the wife of the head of the tribe). I crocheted them an afghan (simple ripple design) last year and didn’t sleep for a week i was working on it so hard… they ended up using it the night i gave it to them (it was cold) AND she has it displayed on her couch, said she uses it every night and keeps getting compliments on how snuggly it looks (i made it with red heart super saver LOL). I think that for yule 2009 i’m going to go and make them one with lion brand wool using this norweigan star pattern i found (knit). It’s something i know they’ll appreciate and use (most of the women in our tribe are crafty… most of them knit, a few crochet, some embroider, almost all sew… to give a handmade gift is a major deal because everyone knows the time and effort that goes into it. I’m making socks for my adopted mom right now that i know she’ll love and appreciate)
Wow… I’m appalled at some of the responses!! I hope I’ve never been that rude over a gift… tho nobody’s perfect of course!! I’ve received my share of white elephant/“what were they thinking??” gifts (aftershave from my cousin… 2 years after I started growing a full beard… comes to mind ) but you have to at least try to be gracious in accepting it.
Anyway. I’m just starting out so no knitting gifts this year I think. (I may try Amy’s headband with pocket, which I think my daughter would love for her ipod. But we’ll see.) My mom was, for whatever reason, never a fan of knitting, but she has always crocheted up a storm. When I was a kid she made each of us crocheted afghans. I still have mine–different colored squares joined together with black borders–and my kids have used it. One day my son, I think 4 at the time, took a pair of scissors to one edge and cut into it about 3" (it was on his bed at the time). I was livid–I would have been worked up over any blanket, but I was extra hot because my mom had made it for me! (To his credit, he did feel bad when I explained this to him.)
Well, I worked up the nerve to tell my mom about it, and she reacted more calmly than I had expected. (I suppose between three children, seven grandchildren, and 35+ years worth of elementary school students, she’s seen just about everything a kid can throw at you.) But she gave me a new one with a similar but not identical pattern the following Christmas, along with new afghans for each of my kids (which they both always sleep with during the winter). And THEN she took the old one home next time she visited (they live about 600 miles away) and brought it back the following trip with the sliced-up panel replaced, good as new. The afghan is at the moment in our living room and I often use it when my feet get cold while I’m watching TV. I hope Mom has never felt we’ve been ungrateful for any stuff she’s made for us.
These stories are sad and frustrating!!! :waah: There’s nothing more frustrating than to make something for somebody and have them not appreciate it.
I’ve had that happen myself a couple of times, even by people who were “crafty” in other things. I don’t think non-knitters really realize that each one of those “v’s” is an actual stitch that you had to make by a specific maneuver, many times over and over. When you sew a garment, at least the fabric is already made; you cut out the pattern pieces and assemble them together. But with knitting (and crocheting), you have to start by making the fabric first. It’s much more labor intensive (and I say that as a person who sews, too, so I know the work involved there).
Sometimes I think that people [I][U]do[/U][/I] realize the effort you put into the finished product, and they may want to save it “for good”, so they never use it, fearing that it will get ruined or something just by careful use. It’s not spun pure gold thread, it’s YARN, for goodness sake!–use it and enjoy it! :teehee:
I’ve made myself a promise when I decide I might want to knit for somebody. I ask myself if I will get upset if the person doesn’t seem to appreciate what I did. If the answer is “yes”, I know I should probably not knit something for them. Believe it or not, there are times that despite the time and effort I will be putting into something–when I’ve asked myself if I will be upset if they don’t appreciate it–the answer is “no”, so I will knit whatever it is for that person anyway.
What can it hurt to drape an afghan over a couch that you made for somebody when you’re going to come over for a visit to their home, even if in reality, the person may never uses it? What can it hurt to put on that scarf or sweater or an adorable little lace dress a new grandmother made for her new granddaughter on for visits that you’re going to see that person so they can see how it looks being worn? You were thinking enough of the recipient to spend LOTS to time to knit/crochet it, perhaps even a sleepless night or two. Even if the recipient doesn’t like it, it truly [I][U]is[/U][/I] the thought that counts with handmade items. It’s just ungrateful.:grrr:
Okay, after reading all the post last night & today I am really getting nervous about what few gifts I have made for Christmas gifts for a few family members.
I have made two pairs of socks for my MIL using Step yarn cause she has to keep socks on at all times due to her diabetes and complains that store bought are not always soft enough. She has really sensitive feet now & they scratch as she says. I have also made her some knitted dish cloths but not as much worried about these cause she does crochet & has made her own but there again due to some problems with her diabetes she doesn’t crochet as much & last trip down noticed that her dish cloths were in need of replacing but she just didn’t feel up to making herself more so I knitted some for her.
I am more worried though about the 17 yr old DD and some of the things that I am making for her this year since things are very very tight for us, thanks to the gasoline prices, this year and trying to at least give them some kind of christmas. Being self employed and our business profits relect the gas prices going up our profit is going down! UGH, I will get off that soap box before I get into trouble. Anyway, she has seen a few things that my Monday Knitting group was working on & made a comment about likeing something someone else was doing so I got the pattern and working on those for her. I have made her afghans over the years, each time we redo the room have to have a matching afghan:teehee:, so off I go & get yarn to crochet a new one for her. I know that she does appreciate those cause now that the weather is getting colder here in Ga she drags them out to the couch to cover up with. I am also making her some ankle socks with Tofutsies yarn. Those she did ask for earlier in the year when I was learning to make socks & made her a pair that was to be a surprise for her bday but she found them & took them right away. I have to peel them off her feet just to wash them!:roflhard:
I am even more worried, if that is possible, about a Kertzer cable sweater that I am knitting for my DH. I have never made anything for him other than a crochet scarf a few years back that he usually wears if we can find the time to get away for skiing every few years. I am using the Kertzer Marble yarn for it & hope that he will appreciate & like it.
I keep thinking of who I won’t knit or crochet for and cannot come up with anyone but maybe my three sisters unless they ask me to do something for them & that is just because they aren’t into the crafty stuff. The didn’t get that gene from our mom like I did. Although they do like the few things that I have knitted for my nephews and do thank me when I send something for the boys out of the blue. My one nephew has out grown a stocking cap I made for him & told his mother to call me, he needed a new one before it got cold.:roflhard: This was nice.
I will leave it with this that I would hope that even if I give someone something handmade they would at least say Thank you even if they don’t use it or wear it. I sometimes don’t make them something just to get a great reaction from them but make it for them just because I enjoy knitting or crocheting for myself to give away.
I tend to make a lot of my gifts, and I do a lot of stuff, so people get soap, candles, sewn stuff, whatever. I don’t give a lot of knitted gifts, as they usually take too much time, and I live far from my family, so don’t really know what sort of stuff/colours they wear at present. When I do make something, I try to make something that is useful (mittens that clash with your coat are fine for shovelling snow) or consumable (candles or soap), and hope that if the recipient has no use for it, that they will pass it on to someone else.
I can also see the other point of view. There are so many people giving handmade gifts, and if I hear “it’s not the gift, it’s the thought that counts”, one more time, I’m going to be sick. I usually hear this said by someone who is unloading a piece of crap on someone else. If THAT is what they think of me, WELL…!!! A friend of my daughter’s often gives her homemade gifts, and these are pretty scary, seeing that the kid is in her late teens. When I make something for someone, I try to at the very least give something that is attractive and well made. A friend of mine also pointed out, after hearing all sorts of older women complaining that theit children and grandchildren never wore anything that was knitted for them, “Well, maybe if she used a decent yarn and a pattern that wasn’t completely outdated, the sweaters would be worn”. She has a point. I know a lot of women who churn out the same old stuff out of the cheapest yarn they can find, and then are horrified when the recipients are not ecstatic. If a gift has been made with some effort or care, I don’t care how ugly or holey or cheaply made it is, I will usually use and enjoy it. But when someone who has been knitting for thirty years, and has a fair amount of money, comes up with lumpy bulgy mittens out of dollar store yarn, then I am not impressed.
There are knitters of all skill levels, and since we all started at the bottom, I have trouble criticizing stuff which is not perfect just because it was made by a novice. But then again, there are so many people who will give anything (for example, acrylic mittens made for a yard sale which didn’t sell), as a gift because they happened to have it lying around the house.
I won’t knit for my mom, even the lousy dishcloth she threw away. When I’ve bought store bought gifts they are never right and then are pawned off back to me a few months later with the surprise of “did you buy that for me? Oh I’m sorry I didn’t know how I got that.” Yeah, BS.
I knit for my husband, that man will wear anything with appreciation. He still has the first swatch I ever made in his nightstand drawer from the first time I ever picked up knitting needles.
On a simlar note, my grandmother used to make me handmade gifts for Christmas each year. Footies, socks, etc. I loved them and always looked forward to them because it wasn’t something I could buy. Many times I wore out my slippers before a new pair was knitted up. I wish my grandma could see that I’ve taken on her craft, she’d be tickled.
i’ve pretty much given up on knitting things for other people…more for me!! i’m the only person i’ve noticed who truly appreciates the time and effort i put into my work. i made scarves for everyone last year for christmas and i was non-stop knitting up until christmas morning…i have not seen ANYONE (besides my mom) wear their scarf. i will be making my boyfriend a pair of socks for snowboarding because he specifically asked for them and he sees all the time and effort i put into knitting.
I will not knit for my daughter. :sad: I knit two sweaters for her four children every year and even one for her husband last year. I had one OTN for her and she said I don’t like the yarn or the pattern so I’ll give it to my MIL as we’re the same size. My DH does not wear the one I made him so he’s out of the loop too. My EX still wears the one I made for him in 1993 and he has been married twice since!? Go figure. My adult sons will wear theirs as long as I don’t make them out of Wool Eaze…to make a long story short…the necks kept getting bigger and bigger and everyone made fun of them (they were in their teens).
[FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=blue]I only knit for myself, and baby things for friends. My two grown sons occasionallky ask me to make them a hat or a new pair of mitts. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff]But only if they ask, and they do wear them.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=#0000ff]I have recently started knitting for the local children’s hospital. It helps me get my knitting time quota in…[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
:knitting:
I won’t be knitting for people who don’t appreciate the time and effort, I guess. I knit baby stuff for a co-worker’s baby and they are very appreciated (and i’m talking about her husband dropping by to our office thanking me for 5 minutes), because she herself crochets and does know how much it takes. I won’t be knitting for another co-worker’s baby, as I know that they are use-it-once-throw-it-away kind of consumers. For his babies i bought clothes and his wife loved them. I [B]won’t[/B] knit for certain members of my family, such as second degree uncle who had a baby 4 months ago, lives 1/2 hour drive from us and never invited us or answered the congrats message i left him. No booties for them :fingerwag:. I’m going to knit gifts for New Year (long story) for my FIL and MIL and i know that they will appreciate it. My FIL is always excited about my knitting :cheering:! I also decided to knit for my sister, who had refused knit items, but we picked the yarn and the pattern and i think she’s going to love the gift!
I think it is generally lack of many things, as manners, tolerance etc., to throw a gift away or treat it as trash in front of the person that made it or gave it. I recently received a huge bag of new towels and i already have tons and tons, but i won’t give it away or throw it. I’ll keep it for future kids or myself.
) but you have to at least try to be gracious in accepting it.
Although they do like the few things that I have knitted for my nephews and do thank me when I send something for the boys out of the blue. My one nephew has out grown a stocking cap I made for him & told his mother to call me, he needed a new one before it got cold.:roflhard: This was nice.
My adult sons will wear theirs as long as I don’t make them out of Wool Eaze…to make a long story short…the necks kept getting bigger and bigger and everyone made fun of them (they were in their teens).