That’s cruel! I posted the link of FB. Misery loves company etc.
Lavar Burton reads bedtime story for grownups.
Language warning. But it’s funny.
just a boring sky over here… was windy earlier today, but the main big clouds went around yakima, as they often do (they go north of rattlesnake ridge towards ellensburg, and south of ahtanum ridge towards lower valley/satus pass)… we see a lot but, but don’t experience a lot. around 2-4:30 i was out running errands and it was bright sunshine, puffy blue clouds.
I’ve heard him reading that before and I think it’s hysterical and those thoughts ran through my head when mine were ity bity many a times 
It was a gorgeous typical fall day here, white puffy clouds but no blue puffy clouds ,those will be coming soon enough here. The Farmers Almanac says we’re in for a hard winter here. Not looking forward to winter at all. My daughter is always trying to get us to move down by her when I retire but I’m not sure N.C is for me.
[FONT=helvetica, arial][FONT=helvetica, arial]TEST FOR DEMENTIA Exercise of the brain is important. As we grow older - past 30 - it is important that we keep mentally alert. Use it or lose it particularly applies to the brain. So here is a way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. Take the following test and determine ! if you are “losing it” or if you are still "with it."
Relax. Clear your mind.[/FONT] [/FONT]
[B] [FONT=helvetica, arial] -----------------------------------------------------[/FONT] [/B] [FONT=helvetica, arial] Begin.
1. What do you put in a toaster?
ANSWER:
! Bread.
If you said “toast”…then give up now and go do something else.
Try not to hurt yourself.
If you said “bread”…Go to Question 2.
2. Say “silk” five times.
Now spell "silk.“
What do cows drink?
ANSWER:
Cows drink water.
If you said “milk”, please do not attempt the next question.
Your brain is obviously over stressed and may even overheat.
[/FONT]
[FONT=helvetica, arial]It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate such as Children’s World.
If you said “water”…
Go to question 3.
[/FONT] [FONT=helvetica, arial] 3. If a red house is made from red bricks
and a blue house is made from blue bricks
and a pink house is made from pink bricks
and a black house is made from black bricks,
what is a green house made from?
ANSWER:
Greenhouses are made from glass.
If you said” green bricks,"
what the devil are you still doing here reading these questions???
If you said “glass”…
Go on to Question 4.
4. Twenty years ago, a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany.
[/FONT]
[FONT=helvetica, arial]If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany.
Anyway…during the flight, TWO of the engines fail.
The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure.
Unfortunately that engine fails before he has time and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of “No man’s land” between East Germany and West Germany.
Where would you bury the survivors?
East Germany! or West Germany or in “No man’s land”?
ANSWER:
You don’t…of course…bury survivors.
If you said ANYTHING else…you are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash.
Your efforts would not be appreciated.
If you said, “Don’t bury the survivors”…
Go to the next question.
5. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60 of a degree every minute then how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?
ANSWER:
One degree
If you said “360 degrees” or anything other than “one degree,” you are to be congratulated on getting this far,but you are obviously out of your league.
If you messed up, Turn your pencil in and exit the room.
Everyone else proceed to the final question.
[/FONT] [FONT=helvetica, arial] 6. Do not use a calculator.
You are driving a bus from London to Miford Haven in Wales.
In London, seventeen people get on the bus.
In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on.
In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get in.
In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on.
In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on.
You then arrive at Milford Haven.
What was the name of the bus driver?
ANSWER:
Oh…for crying out loud!
Don’t you remember?
It was YOU!![/FONT]
Two things to think about as you start your day tomorrow…
- Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
2.Do not sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
I put waffles in my toaster and don’t survivors get buried in red tape?
:mrgreen:
:roflhard:
You Know You’re Not A Kid Anymore If…
[B][SIZE=6][COLOR=red]You can live without sex but not without your glasses.
You quit trying to hold in your stomach, no matter who walks into the room.
You enjoy watching the news.
The phone rings and you hope it’s not for you.
The only reason you’re still awake at 4 am is indigestion.
People ask what color your hair USED to be.
You’re proud of your lawnmower.
Your best friend is dating someone half their age AND isn’t breaking any laws.
You start singing along with the elevator music.
You really do want a new washing machine for your birthday.
Your car has four doors.
You routinely check the oil in your car.
You’ve owned clothes so long that they’ve come back into style–TWICE.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
8 AM is your idea of “sleeping in”.
You don’t remember when you got that mole…or the one next to it.
You write thank you notes without being told.
[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B]
Well so far on my Gargoyle I have the head, body, legs, and arms knitted . Starting the hands now
This is a photo of the designer’s knitted work
This book is about eating
I’d love to hear Lavar Burton read that one. My kids were never picky eaters so it doesn’t do it for me like the bedtime book. I think hearing it read aloud would be great.
Ok, this UK pattern is starting to drive me crazy :wall::hair:
The pattern is readable but some instructions are not very clear or maybe it’s just :whoosh:yeah over my head . I’ve knitted the head and body and I thought I was done with the legs and arms. But once I started on the hands things became unclear . With the legs and arms it read for (make two the same)for leg and(make two the same) for arm made sense t me since there are two legs and two arms , so that’s what I did , assuming the two legs panels and two arm panels were to be seamed and wala you get two legs and two arms :shrug: No were in this pattern did it say make two the same and repeat for the other leg or arm . But now that I am rethinking it , it does only read ‘leg,arm’ no plurals so I guess I’m wrong in how I read the instructions on this.:wall: Why am I thinking I did something wrong you ask, well because when I started the hand notice on plural it read (make two the same) as well. Which I did thinking I was knitting two complete hand(s) NOPE , NOT only knitting one hand . I don’t have an issue with the pattern other then I’m thinking it should stated instruction for dummies like myself that ‘You are only making one hand , repeat this section for other hand’:hair:
But someone tell me how would you intrepid the following instructions on the hand. I’ve done the cast on, knitting up to 20 rows and now have 30 sts on the needle next row reads
K20 Turn
next row,p10 turn (work on these 10 sts only)
I get this and it is knitting the middle finger and there are only 3 fingers total . After knitting the middle finger (I’ve cut the yarn as told on middle finger)then it reads and this is the part that I am stuck on
with right side on your working facing you
Rejoin the yarn
nest row ,k5 turn
here I am confused with 3 fingers and the middle finger done , which side do I knit the next finger on ??
So you got the middle finger, huh? 
Are the other two fingers identical? If so I guess it wouldn’t matter which one you did first. Whatever you do be careful to not have pieces that won’t add up to a left hand and a right hand when you do get there…you know, like two left gloves. I’m going to find your link and see if I can get any insight from the pattern. I think you should go and start a thread just for this and others who skip the blog threads might have some help to offer.
Well the designer of the pattern got back with me and it seems I didn’t do anything wrong on the legs and arms :woot: But I did make a mistake on the hand with the fingers :shrug: don’t know what I did yet but I have to frog back .
Both the legs and the arms are made as [B]one[/B] piece, when I say make two the same I mean two arms using the same instructions twice [B]not[/B] two pieces for each arm the same. The instructions for the arms and legs tell you how to make a whole leg and a whole arm, so you will have to make two for each arm/leg.
Sometimes, on other patterns one arm is straight and perhaps the other has a bend in it, so you would then be given instructions for making the two [B]types[/B] of arms, but the gargoyle has identical arms and legs.
When you make them up, each piece is folded in half to form the leg/arm, so you should have two identical pieces, two for making the two legs , and two for making the two arms.
You will be making the index finger first, then the middle finger, then the little finger - he only has three fingers in all and a separate thumb.
I don’t think in this case it’s a matter of being separated by a common language so much as it is a matter of a fairly complicated pattern and maybe some diagrams or other illustrations would help. A picture paints a thousand words and all that. You’ve come to far to quit, that I know, so I hope to hear that you’re making real progress.
Now back to my S&M scarf. I have to get this finished then never again not in this lifetime forget it no way will I do another. I want to really be a thrower and throw this bleep out the window.
:waah: Now she tells me I may have been right on the middle finger being knitted first, after I frogged it back ! she’s going back to her pattern to check. Her illustrations/photos are not clear enough to judge what I need to know. Time for a ‘step away from the project’ go knit on that other WIP !!!
I got a pattern and tried to follow a glove making tutorial. I ended up more confused than I ever was. Now I think I finally have gloves figured out more or less and will try again. Sometimes help really isn’t. I feel for you.
:yay:I got the hands done !!!