About 2 years ago a friend of mine wanted me to teach her to knit. She thought it would be fun to get a bunch of us together for brunch, chatting, then knitting. We had so much fun, we started doing it every month. Well, not every month, but fairly regularly since then.
It has never really been a knitting group though. Only 3 of us actually knit, and often people don’t even bring their needles/yarn. Some of the people never even really learned. It is actually just a chance to drink mimosas and chat about celebrities (about whom none of us really care, but we find it funny/ironic for professional women to sit around sharing celebrity gossip) and our jobs and kids (no one had kids when we started, but there has since been some breeding).
Fine. It is fun, and I would be knitting whether I was at home alone or in their company, so I have kept going. However, in the past 6 months, it has become increasingly tedious in that the focus has shifted to pregnancy/kids. It is a sensitive topic for me because I expected to start a family about 3 years ago, then DH needed a kidney transplant. Then he had 7 months of complications. During that time he had a revelation that he wanted to be a patent lawyer instead of a scientist (had his Phd, was doing a post doc) and is now in law school. We can’t start our family for at least 2 more years, and I have a lot of anxiety about it anyway. I don’t blame them that their focus has shifted, how couldn’t it? It just isn’t comfortable for me anymore.
Now they are turning it into a reading group. I am totally completely not interested. My other responsibility is that I have a horse, and I can’t ride on days that I have knitting group. Because of my career, I can only ride 4x a week anyway and skipping that one day is a sacrifice for me.
I guess I’m just venting because I’m disappointed. It was fun at first and now I feel like I’ve lost something. We are all still friends, so fortunately it’s not like I’ve lost friendships.
I guess I am just mourning a little because it could have been a fun thing and it never really got going and now it is gone.
I can understand why you are dissapointed…The group started off as a knitting group and is now heading for something completely different. Maybe try and start another knitting get together and carry on doing something which you love!!
I am so sorry - I have a knitting group that I go to every Friday night at the BN cafe by my house. I love it and I look forward to it every week. We knit from 8 till 11PM and talk and drink coffee and just have so much fun. I would miss it like crazy if it stopped.
I found this group by luck -I happened to be at the BN on a Friday night and saw them knitting and started to talk to them and they said sitdown, join us. That was a few months ago and I have been going ever since. They have been together for at long time… but they were totally welcoming.
Have you tried to see if there are any other knitting groups in your area? On Ravelry they have a lot of groups and maybe you can find one there - I have found some in my area on Ravelry.
This way you can still hang out with your friends if you still want to, but you can also find some new people to knit with…
[SIZE=2][COLOR=DarkOrchid]Hi Bip! Well, bummer. You know, my 2 cents, I think you should find a real knitting group. Another knitting group. I’ll bet you can through Ravelry or meetup.com. I say this because I went to my FIRST knitting group just this past Wed.
I don’t know if I’ll continue, well, I think I will come to think of it.
I’ve gotten used to staying home a lot (I don’t have a job, I’m a writer) and it was such a gas to go and be around 20 knitters. At first though, this group on my right started talking about the baby clothes they were knitting and I just couldn’t help think, oh boy, I’m out of here. This is not what I’m interested in. I’m past having babies and never got to have one so, yes, it’s a senstive issue for some of us. But then things moved on and I started asking what some of the others were knitting, and there were just some gorgeous gorgeous sweaters, a couple I have to make and then I learnt two new technquies … that was fabulous.
I envy you for having a horse! wow. I live in NYC but I have a place up in the catskills with 2 barns (old small barns) but the woman who sold us the place, 12 acres, had bunches of horses and even some that raced at Saratoga. I have the space for a horse but I’m intimidated to own one, plus I can’t afford it coz we live in the city half the time… Got any pictures of your horse? I’d love to see him/her.
I’ll be there are a bunch of knit groups in your area. I just discovered that meetup thing, I found my group through Ravelry but then found out they are part of meetup. It’s a pretty interesting .com! okey doke, all for now,
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I know how you feel. I’ve always wanted to be apart of a knitting group but the only one i was ever able to find was just full of b*^chy women who didn’t make me feel like I would ever be apart of the group and they talked badly about eachother when backs were turned. I’ve tried teaching people and that’s always a good way to get together a group but after the initial inthusiasm wears off that always ends too. I guess knitting is destined to become my alone time.
Yes Sabrina! Funny, I found them through Ravelry but then found out about meetup.com
If anyone is interested, here’s a pic from my first ever knitting group… across the street from me. I’m in the white shirt on the right. (and I look kind of crummy)
Now they are turning it into a reading group. I am totally completely not interested. My other responsibility is that I have a horse, and I can’t ride on days that I have knitting group. Because of my career, I can only ride 4x a week anyway and skipping that one day is a sacrifice for me.
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If you want to ride - go ride. No excuses are needed.
You know, I think I might stay in the group. Get the book on tape that their all reading so you can be up on the latest chapter and bring my knitting to the get togethers. I can talk and knit at the same time. It still gets you out with your friends.
I think the biggest thing is that all the talk about kids is getting to you, right? Well, maybe if the point of the get-togethers is discussing a book they won’t have time for the “kid talk” and you can enjoy yourself again.
Sometimes our friends get so wrapped up in what their doing that they don’t stop and think about a friend who is hurting. And they are all in a place that you are not - yet! I know you would never want to ask them to cool it for fear that you would hurt their feelings and they would think you bitter and, perhaps, alienate you. They don’t mean to be hurting you. They are sharing with you just as much as with each other. It bothers you that you can’t contribute to the conversation - yet. If they’re your good and true friends I’m sure you could probably share your feelings with them in a manner that would be constructive for all of you.
Stick with it a little longer. We never know what the future brings. And, so I’ve heard, there’s never a PERFECT time to have a baby. You’ll never have ENOUGH money or time. You work around that. It’ll happen for you and when it does it will be YOUR perfect time.
I know I don’t know you, but I feel for you and wish you the best.
Oh, gosh, I’m not hoping for a perfect time! :mrgreen: I was just trying not to get knocked up while DH was having a kidney transplant + complications. And now I’m the only income (plus health insurance), so if anything happened with the pregnancy that kept me from working, we would be you-know-where without a you-know-what (answers: creek, paddle).
I’m still going to spend time with my friends! Some of us went to Webs last Saturday, which is a 2 hr drive each way. We had lunch in Northampton then spent hours in the store. I’m just not naturally a big group person, and it seems silly to purposely spend time with people you like under circumstances that are excruciating.
I might look for a real knitting group, but I just realized that my evenings and weekends are pretty tight for a while. I might hoard my knitting time to myself
Thanks for all your advice, understanding and commiseration
Hi bip:
I, too, belonged to a Tuesday night knitting group and one of the first members! We were fine until a woman was brought in by another member. This woman was a knitting WHIZ. She could knit anything. Had a knitting store in New York. Her personality was that of a viper! She was my age (63) but had her own life with no need for the husband of umpeenth years. He sat home and watched TV. Fine, if that’s your choice. I am married and very happily for the last 14 yrs. My husband and I are raising my grandson, since his birth and who is 12 yrs old now. So I was a “wierd o” in her opinion. My knitting skills are good and I love to crochet. This woman, “viper” changed the whole group atmosphere. We used to meet once a week in each others’ homes and had coffee, and some snacks. Talk was knitting and helping each other. That changed. She organized bus tours and spending big bucks on knitting in over night trips. No more food in homes and etc. I asked her for help on my project and she ripped it out of my hands and said,“do it your own way”. Hence, you got it I don’t go anymore. Some of the women still put up with her nasty know it all manner, but not me. So, find another group. The advice given in the posts was very good. I am home during the day with my husband as we are both retired. Some days he goes with me to the LYS and some not. This viper had no children and let you know that she did not want any conversation about children. Children are God’s gift to us. In His time, you shall receive a gift or many gifts. My husband has kidney failure also. He is pretty stable but gets tired as he is 70 yrs. old and having a 12 yr old in middle school is challenging. I am ranting on and on. And, I apologize. but sometimes it helps. I am going to teach knitting to some middle schoolers as a volunteeer to keep the craft going and to share my love of knitting and the children. Keep the faith and keep riding. I only rode a horse once in Central Park when I was a young girl. God loves us all.
Warm wishes, Grandmaknit
Grandma… wow what a story. What a drag. Some women just don’t get it, they have to be bossy and shrill I guess to keep control of their own insecure feelings or something. (perhaps she is very sad because she could not have children and that’s why she can’t stand hearing about them) Too bad the whole group changed because of her. I’m in New York, sadly, this sounds like one of the caricatures of bossy New Yorkers. Most of the yarn store owners I know are really really nice though. That’s wonderful you are going to teach knitting to kids, I’d love to do that and hopefully I will someday. hugs to you and your husband…
I would just like to say that thanks to this thread I have checked out meetup.com. I have found 1 group in my area and joined about 5 minutes ago. I am excited to find out when their next meeting is. :woot:
I wish I lived near some of you. There are no knitting groups in my area, and I have yet to find anyone one else who knits or is interested in knitting.:sad: It would be wonderful to have other people to share with and learn new techniques as well. I’m glad that I have KH here or I probably would’ve given up knitting by now.
