Here are the instructions that I have been following, quoted from http://www.hellchick.net/needles/patterns/toeupsocks.shtml:
Shaping the Heel
The heel is shaped with short rows until about 15-20% of the stitches are left unshort-rowed. If you’ve never short-rowed before, follow these directions and you’ll learn how.
Ending the last row at the beginning of a new round, turn the work and then work the heel as follows on one needle, back and forth:
Row 1 (WS): Purl to last stitch; slip stitch as if to purl and then wrap stitch (move yarn from front to back, slip stitch back to left needle, move yarn to the front of the work). Turn the work.
Row 2: Knit to last stitch; slip stitch as if to purl and then wrap stitch (move yarn from back to front, slip stitch back to left needle, move yarn to the back of the work). Turn the work.
Repeat these two rows, wrapping the last stitch before the previously wrapped ones – you’re forming a triangle with some fullness to it. Repeat this until you have about 15-20% of the stitches on the needle unworked.
Begin to “long-row” the heel as follows:
Row 1 (RS):Work to first wrapped stitch; knit the stitch and its wrap together as one (scooping up the wrap from the front of the stitch). Wrap the next stitch again as before (this helps to keep gaps small). Turn the work.
Row 2: Purl to first wrapped stitch; purl the stitch and its wrap together as one (scooping up the wrap from the back of the stitch). Wrap the next stitch again as before. Turn the work.
Row 3 and 4: Work to first wrapped stitch. Work similar to rows 1 and 2, but picking up both wraps and knitting together with stitch and wrapping the following stitch.
Continue until all stitches on the heel have been worked.
I think I just wanted reassurance about having to pick up both wraps, but I noticed the same instructions at a lot of other sites. Now I just have to go back and fix my mistakes. I think I am going to try to unknit instead of rip.
And keeping those wraps nice and loose is a really good idea too. Thanks for sharing the tip.