Oh, The Things Kids Say

Yesterday my husband, 2 kids, and I went to a Chinese restaurant near our house. We were there for a little while when hubby asked me if there was anywhere else we needed to go after we ate. My son, 3 years old, says “Michaels!” My husband and looks at him and says, “Michaels? What do we need from Michaels?” And, my son replies, “Yarn!” I started laughing my butt off!

On a side note, he also called his sister a smart a** earlier in the day! :roflhard: Of course I told him that’s not nice to say and a** is a bad word, but, when he wasn’t looking, I couldn’t help but laugh!

Kids can say the darndest things…lol. They are usually the ones that says the truth when others just think it…

At least your son know to go shopping for the #1 item!


I think we’ve all got stories we could tell on our kids! :teehee:

:roflhard: :roflhard:

Oh boy do they say things:teehee: I was picking up my grandson yesterday from school. They have cards so as no one else can take them. So he puts his card in the box, Teacher asks about granddaughter I say, she stayed home with a cold. My grandson without a second says, she doesn’t have a cold. I turned red and very quickly walked out before the teacher started laughing.


:roflhard: Yeah, sometimes ya just wish you could hide in a corner with the things they say!

I think one of the most embarrassing for me was when my daughter was about 4. We’re in the middle of the grocery store, surrounded by people and she blurts out, “I like your boobs, Mama!” LOL! Man, I don’t know if my face has ever been redder!

I’m sure my children have embaressed me mightily in years past, but for the life of me I can’t remember. One story that does stick in my head is one my sister told me.

My neice was in the process of potty training and my sister still had to clean up after her. They were in the grocery store and Georgia started wiggling around in the shopping cart. My sister asked her what was wrong and Georgia, in a volume that only a 3 year old could maintain, said “My butt hurts - you didn’t wipe me good enough!”

LOL! Oh man, talk about making mommy feel terrible!

My ex-husband thought it was so funny to teach our 2 year old daughter how to say “fart”…until we were in a restaruant and she says loudly “Daddy, you farted!!”. Yeah, he didn’t teach her any more “you can only say that at home” words until she was much older.

LOL Lelvsdgs!

I love this thread!!! More More!!:roflhard::roflhard::roflhard::roflhard:

My dd, who is now 30 and has her own pint size stinker, went to school as a kindergartner and for “show and tell” [B]told[/B] the class her mommy had her daddy’s electric fishies killed.

Umm, my husband had just had a vasectomy. Nope, don’t know where she got the electric fishies thing, probably from some other kid. That one got a call from the teacher [B]and[/B] the principal.

:roflhard::rofl::roflhard: That is TOO funny!!!

When I was little I was raised as a Pentecost. We were at church one Sunday and the pastor had all the kids come up on the stage and say what they had for Xmas. When it was my turn I got through me, my sister and my dad, however when it was my mom’s turn I sad that she had some knickers (undies), but they didn’t fit her. This was in front of about 300 people!!! Let’s just say that my feet didn’t touch the floor until I was at home.

I write childrens stories, and I was reading a story about a little butterfly to my nephew, he must have been about 5 or 6. Now my nephew is what we call an ‘old soul in a young body’. When I was finished he looked up at me.

‘Auntie Lisa?’
‘Yes Steven’
‘You know butterfly’s?’
‘Yes Steven’
‘Well…do they make butter??’

I was reading a book about animals, I think it was one of the chicken soup for the soul book and there was a passage by Art Linkletter. He was recalling childrens remarks about pets from his show kids say the darndest things. He was asking them if their dogs had a pedigree. One girl said, “sure my dog has lots of them” he asked her “how do you know?” she says “because he bites himself all the time” :roflhard: Another girl said “my dog used to have a pedigree but we took it out.” :roflhard: :roflhard:

Another story was of a little girl that was outside and a large friendly dog ran up to her and was giving her kisses. The little girl was screaming and crying, the mom ran over and asked did he bite you? The little girl says no but, he tasted me! :roflhard: :roflhard:

LOL! Aren’t kids great?

A few years ago I was visiting with my sister and her family. Ever night after dinner we’d walk to one of the many parks that was near by. One night my niece, who was 2 1/2 at the time, wanted me to go on the slide with her. It was a fairly narrow slide, meant only for children, so I told her that my bum was to big for it. She accepted that and continued to play. Fast forward to a couple of nights later. We’re at a different park and this one has a extra wide slide. My niece runs over to the slide and yells out "Auntie you’re bums not to big for this slide."
Luckily the park wasn’t really busy but my BIL sure got a good laugh.

I love this thread!! :heart: Here’s two goodies for you, but they’re both on the naughty side. :oops:

My nephew, when he was about 6 or so, asked his mom where do babies come from. She is honest and upfront with him so she explains that when a man and woman love each other very much, he puts his privates inside the woman and about 9 months later, they have a baby. He looks at her with great big eyes and an expression of shock and says “Does he ever get his privates back?”

Another… a friend of ours got an unfortunate visit from a tornado a few years ago. While it didn’t touch the house, it did tear up the back yard. Their tool shed was completely torn up and dropped in the pool along with the lawn mower. Their 5 year old son was looking out the back window, face pressed up against the glass for a few minutes, not saying a word. Finally, he turns around, looks at his dad, and says “Man, that’s ****ed up”. :shock:

That’s hilarious! It actually made me tear up. :teehee:


OMG, that is HILARIOUS!!! They really pick up on the little details, don’t they?

Ok, this one is a bit more…er…personal, but, I just about couldn’t contain my laughter!

So, my son is 3 and we’re potty training him. He’s been doing really well, but, last week he had a stomach bug and his pull-up was indeed a necessity, so, he didn’t use the potty at all last week.

Anyway, tonight I was tucking him into bed and told him he needs to start using the potty again. We just bought him some Thomas the Tank Engine undies because he LOVES Thomas and we were hoping that would help him avoid going potty in his undies.

So, I told him tomorrow he could wear his new undies and use the potty again. Well, he said he wanted to wear them tonight and I explained that we weren’t quite ready for undies overnight and he’ll still need to wear pull-ups until he gets used to not going pee during the night. He replies, “I can wear undies to bed when I get bigger and my penis falls off, then I won’t pee in the bed!” :roflhard::roflhard::roflhard:

For some reason, I have absolutely no idea how he came up with this, but, he thinks that “big boys” aren’t…er…equipped! LOL! So yeah, I had to explain to him that he’d have it forever, it wasn’t going anywhere :rofl: