Oh My Freakin' God!

I have to have surgery AGAIN!!! That’ll be 3 surgeries in less than 3 years. :pout:

Let me recap: Remember last week, my problem with getting my medical records sent over to my new doctor? Well I had my appt. yesterday - he was WONDERFUL btw - and it turns out that damn cyst that was in there back in January has not shrunk at all. So in order to avoid it rupturing and causing excruciating pain he and I think they should go in and get rid of it before we start any IVF procedures.

Yep, I have to do IVF. :verysad: I cannot believe it. I mean I can, but I don’t want to yet. I was so hoping he would say we had a good shot with another IUI but alas that is not the case. I have a 12% chance of conceiving with IUI or a 50% with IVF. Obviously IVF is the better of the 2 but I would like at least a 70-75% chance with IVF.

He thinks my left ovary is shot seeing as that’s where the cyst is attached to…I hate my body. I asked if he would be doing the surgery and he said that he does do this kind, but if they are going to go in there, then he want’s it done by THE BEST doctor. So he’s sending me to a different doctor for the surgery, who is apparently quite well known in the Reproductive world. I’ve seen him on the news quite a few times. He seems nice and they said that he was and that’s a huge plus for me.

I’m sorry if I’ve bored you all with my diseases and the such, but it’s like I told my mom last night, I’m so sick and tired of infertility being a taboo subject. It’s not our fault that our bodies are broken and we shouldn’t be ashamed of that. How is having infertility any different than having cancer or any other disease? Most people don’t cause their own cancer and I didn’t cause my disease, it just happened to me. I hate it. But this is the hand I’ve been dealt.

Oh, man, I hope I don’t have to do that horrible bowel prep thing again. :ick: Okay, I’ll leave it at that for now.

Oh!! FYI. Some of my records never made it over to my new doctor. What a surprise. So I called them this morning and in a no nonsense tone told them to fax it asap. As if that will do any good. :teehee: Thanks for letting me vent. :hug:

:grphug: So sorry that you have to go through all of this!!! It sounds like you are finally in good hands.

I hope all goes well for you.

Awww I’m sorry you are going through this. I can’t imagine how hard it must be. I’m sending good vibes and thoughts your way! :hug::hug::hug:

I am sending :hug: and :pray: your way!

I have been dealing with infertility, too. And I agree with not wanting it to be a “taboo” subject. I wish you the very best of luck through everything!! :hug::hug:

I’m so sorry. but in a positive note by next year you will have a baby. giving you good baby vibes. :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

I’m so sorry. I think I took for granted how easily I was able to conceive my children. Until reading all of the threads on this topic, I had no idea just how fortunate I was…

I will keep you in my prayers, dear. One step at a time…one day at a time…


WOW, that really sucks ! Hopefully you are in with a great doctor now who well help you get on the right track to being pregnant - or as one of our docs so nicely put it - start incubating (yup, he’s a gem).
I’m kind of out of the loop when it comes to infertility and pregnancy in general, but if it helps talking about it doesn’t bother me in the least and am suprised to hear it is a taboo subject. I guess working in a hosp we talk about EVERYTHING. I agree that it’s just a condition like anything else. I have friends that for one reason or another cannot conceive and are adopting and for the ones that have pursued IVF and the ones that didn’t I find they pick and choose who they will talk to about it b/c sometimes they feel like people are judging their decision to adopt. Understandably they don’t feel like they should have to defend or justify adopting rather than having “their own” child by putting their medical history on display.

Best of Luck with the new surgery and hope all goes well and that you DON’t have to do bowel prep cause I have done that and oye.

:hug: Thank you all for your warm thoughts and letting me get it off my chest. I apologize if I came across as a bit of a psycho earlier, it’s just that bits and pieces of it all is processing slower than I thought it would and I tend to blurt things out and think about it later on. I try hard not to do that on this board, but sometimes I fail.

As for Infertility being ‘taboo’ and women not wanting to talk about it, it’s because the women that can get pregnant just by looking at their husbands don’t, excuse me, CAN’T even begin to understand how horrible this journey is for us fertility-challenged individuals. I just came up with that one! :teehee:

Women just take it for granted when they don’t even try to conceive and when they hear about other women who struggle with it they usually just poo-poo us and say the most unkind, hurtful and unsympathetic things to our faces and it leaves us standing there completely dumbfounded.

We don’t dislike the women who can get pregnant easily but we do dislike the remarks. Which we know aren’t meant to be taken as being insensitive, but when you are the one who has to go down this road there’s no way on earth that we can even begin to explain how we feel. It is such a sensitive issue and it needs to be handled with extreme care and compassion. And as I sit here and type this it dawns on me that that is probably the reason it is such a taboo subject, because as much as we do want to talk about it, it hurts just that much more [I]too[/I] talk about it. I guess we have to be in the right frame of mind to be more open with the discussions. And since our emotions go haywire during this process, that makes it even more difficult. Wow, I guess we’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t!!

Boy, have I hijacked my own thread here or what!! :teehee: Bottom line: Please don’t ask a woman when she’s going to have a baby. Let her tell you when it happens on her time, you’ll save a lot of women struggling to conceive a heck of a lot of pain. Thank you for letting me get that out. I feel a whole lot better. :hug:

Sounds like you found a good doc… As you said, I can’t imagine not being able to get pregnant because I’ve been blessed by one child. I got a tiny minute taste of it when it took so long to conceive. It was agonizing every month that it didn’t happen. I will keep you in my prayers.

You hit the nail on the head Bailsmom!!! No one could have said it better!

I am so sorry to hear about all the troubles and the pain it has caused.

I too had never realized it was a taboo subject but then again, I don’t really have all that many people I talk to, offline. I’m also a bit surprised that so many people are that insensitive when talking to women who are infertile! I dunno…I always try to put myself in other people’s shoes though.

I hope things work out for the best for you and your husband. :hug:

I guess it’s really all about educating people on the matter. I’ve had to tell my mother that she can’t talk to me about how wonderful her grandchildren are, because for me to hear about that is absolute torture. And I know she doesn’t even realize she’s killing me on the inside, so I have to find a tactful way to say, “Mom, I don’t want to hear about all the wonderful and fun things that the kids are saying or doing”. And to be perfectly honest, I hate having to say anything at all. I wish I could hear about how my SIL is 1 month from giving birth and all she’s going through but I just can’t. 5 years ago, yes it was fine, now, Oh Dear God No!! :teehee: And when I told my mom how I felt, she in turn felt so badly and I hated that I made her feel that way, but if I didn’t say something I would hang up everytime and be crying my eyes out.

But we must educate people as best we can and hope they’ll understand. Again, I thank you all for letting me get this off my chest today. :grphug:

And yes, I sure am excited and scared about my upcoming surgery. I’m so glad my new doctor is big enough to know that another doctor will be able to do a better job and is sending me there. That to me is a huge sign of a doctor who’s more interested in the welfare of his patients and not more concerned about padding his pocketbook. I just wish my last doctor would have done the same thing, because it turns out this doctor who I’m seeing next week, used to work in the same office as my first RE! Small world, hey?!

I’ve decided that when I go in next week and they do another ultrasound I’m going to ask them to give me a picture of the cyst so I can show it to my mom!! She’ll be so grossed out. :roflhard: My Dad will think it’s cool, but he’s a boy so I kind of expect that from him. :teehee:

Sending you big :hug: :hug: :hug: !
We haven’t tried to conceive yet and already i find remarks about me having a baby very offensive, especially when they are coming from my boss:!!!:
I just wanted to add that maybe you shouldn’t hate your body so much. It’s yours, for better for worse. The more you’ll love yourself, the more your body will respond to that. Maybe i sound too new-age now, but i just learned it on myself. I understand how difficult it is for you to hear about other people’s babies and pregnancies, but maybe you can try and change your view about it, wake up in the morning and say “I love myself, I feel great and i’m going to have a baby, this way or another” and smile a lot. Don’t think so hard about the difficulties of the process, try to picture yourself at the end of that.
When i see all the threads about infertility I understand how having a baby is a gift and not something to be taken for granted and I’m sure that really soon you’ll make a wonderful mother. So i’m sending you lots of baby thoughts and :muah: !

I’m so glad to hear you’re seeing a great doctor now, and I’m sending good vibes in the hopes that everything goes well for you this time around. I’m sorry IUI isn’t working out, but if IVF is what it takes, the outcome is what matters. So best of luck, and I hope to hear good news soon! :hug:

:hug: :heart: :hug:

Sorry you have to have surgery again. :hug: Good wishes for a speedy recovery.

Thank you for the kind words knittingnat. I do appreciate the thoughts. But to explain what I mean when I say I hate my body in detail would be long and extremely boring for you to read. Let me just say that I have been stricken with illnesses since I was a child. I’m talking so sick a complete stranger had to carry me into the doctor’s office because I couldn’t walk and my Dad could not get off of work to come with us.

So I have good reason to say that I hate my body, but I did say it was the hand I’ve been dealt so I will continue to deal with it. After 20+ years of sicknesses you tend to become quite negative on certain things and become defeated. But as my signature says “Giving up is what makes it permanent”. I haven’t given up yet. I think that’s a pretty good record. :wink:

And saying out loud to myself that I am going to have a baby isn’t going to make it happen. [U]If it’s meant to be then it will happen[/U], no matter what I say or do.

Thanks again for the well wishes. :hug: