Need Good Pattern for MALE Cancer patient

I am wondering if anyone has any thoughts on knitted items which would be comforting for a male cancer patient (I don’t think he needs a fun-fur chemo cap).

My academic advisor’s partner has just been sent home from UCLA’s cancer treatment center with the news that they can’t do more for his brain cancer and it’s time for him to stop treatment and enjoy however many days he has left. He’s been told he might have 6 months or so, from what I understand. Since they’re discontinuing treatment, I don’t think iv wristlets or chemo caps are the ticket. In fact, I’d like to do something that doesn’t scream “I’m sick!”…

I’m just looking for a pattern for -something- nice that’s hand-knit (or crocheted), and which can be made up quickly (I’m not a super-fast knitter) and obviously time is of the essence. I’d lean towards an afghan, but they are so big and I’m not sure I have the time required to get it done. Something small but luxurious might be good…

The recipient is a man in his late fifties, a professor. Since his cancer is in the brain, I think he’ll probably be experiencing some paralysis, etc, as the tumors grow.

Any thoughts? Has anybody been ill or helped someone ill and thought “thank heavens someone knit me that fill-in-the-blank, it was so nice to have…” ?

No ideas about a knitted item, but just wanted to say that I am saying a prayer for you and your academic advisor’s family. My dad died from brain cancer in 1984 and I’ve heard that things are much better for brain cancer patients these days. The doctors had only given him 6 months as well, but he lived for another 1.5 years, so one never knows.

Thanks very much, CurlyKat. I think your prayer for me might be working-- I just realized that the perfect thing to knit might be a “Knitting into the Mystery” Prayer Shawl!

Has anyone made one of these?

I think that whatever it is should be made of a splurge yarn. The softest, nicest thing you can afford a skein or two of. Just the best, you know? I think that a nice beanie or scarf would be perfect.

I’m thinking a prayer shawl in KP’s Suri Alpaca… not really a big financial splurge, but from what I understand, it feels like a splurge.

That sounds great!

Yeah, I’ve ordered enough Suri Dream in “woodlands” (a reddish-brown) to knit a prayer shawl. I think I will make it a little shorter and wider so it can double as a lap robe or throw… (probably best not to call a knit item for a man a “shawl”)

I think a prayer shawl would be terrific. Its a visible reminder of how much you care and very comforting to wear. PS. I wear a shawl every day when I pray. Its called a tallit. Best wishes for a complete healing to your friend.

I also think a prayer shawl is an excellent idea, and Jeremy, when I was doing my searching months ago, the “male” ones look very similar to a tallit. i think that’s perfect as it can also double as a “lap robe” as he might be spending lots of time in bed and/or wheelchair. i also agree a beanie of some kind would be a nice idea, something light since we’re in the warmer months, maybe cotton… i have some crochet patterns for open-work ones using FP and BP dc that are really nice.

whatever it is you decide, it’s a beautiful act of kindness that i am sure will be very well received. sending prayers.

I made a prayer shawl in KP Suri Dream last fall, and it was a great experience for both me and the recipient. (I made it for my SIL in recognition of the 5th anniversary of her husband’s death [from brain cancer actually], which was also her birthday). I was really moved by how moved she was to receive it.

The Suri Dream makes a really beautiful shawl - she absolutely loved it. And it was quite yummy to the touch. I didn’t like working with it as much as I would’ve wanted, but I think if I had used sharper needles that would’ve made a difference (I used Addi Turbos). The pattern in Knitting into the Mystery is a great one - easy but pretty, and very rhythmic, so it helps the knitter really be able to focus prayers and good thoughts towards the recipient.

I think it’s so great that you’re doing this. Post pics when you’re done!

Earthchick-- Thanks for the heads-up on the Suri Dream. Luckily, I have just gotten the new KP Options needles and they are SUPER pointy, so maybe that will help me out. Fortunately, my standards for knit-ability are low since I just finished a nightmarish project in shudder Lion Suede. The pattern does look very simple, and I like the idea of a pattern consisting of groups of 3.

Jeremy-- Thanks for your thoughts, it’s nice to have some male perspective (thanks to Aidan, too!). I’m actually familiar with tallitot, and I’m not completely sure, but I think the recipient may be Jewish. Sometimes everything falls into place like that.

Boyforpele–I like your suggestion for the beanie. Even though we’re in the deep South, it’s easy to get chilled when you’re very ill. If I have some leftover Suri, I’ll make one up to go with. That and some shortbread. Because nothing’s quite as comforting as shortbread and chamomile tae.

A pair of socks in something luxe would be nice, too.

I just wanted to jump in and suggest a newsboy type cap. He can wear it pulled down in the back to cover the head. They are kind of trendy and popular right now so it won’t be terribly obvious if he walks in a room and has one on.

My daughter has Alopecia, so I have brainstormed the “how to cover a head” topic many times. I have a million ideas for little girls.

I am not sure if you crochet, but this one is a good one.

You might want to look around for a better pattern/style.
Here are some other links with some ideas.

Please let me know what you make, I am always looking for new ideas.