Err...lotsa stuff!

Hey guys sorry i havent been on for a while ive been super busy with school…i broke up with my boyfriend a couple of months ago…and i need some help with some things too.

1.Well, i want to get my ear pierced on the top sorta (i dont specifically know what its called…) but my mom wont let me i am
13, the appropriate age for it. She wont say why and i have discussed it with her but still no. Any advice? Please and thank you.

  1. I also want to dye my hair blonde but its the same situation as #1…any advice? Please and thank you (btw right now my hair is dirty blonde)

Thanks so much guys you are awesome!!!

Oh, you poor dear. Sounds like you’re having a tough time.


I think by piercing, you mean that you want your cartilage pierced, right? Up high on your ear?

I don’t think I would have let my daughter do this when she was this age, although she did get it done last year when she was 15. I have mine pierced and couldn’t really find a reason why she couldn’t.

Perhaps you could ask your mom for a reason? I don’t know how mature you are, but that sometimes plays into the “no” answer.

As far as dyeing your hair, again, you should ask your mom why she is saying no. Perhaps it’s a money factor. Once you start getting it colored, it costs a lot to manage it. You have to get the roots done every few months. This can really add up. And with this, I have to say that I don’t think I would have let mine get her’s done when she was that age.

I think that there are some things you should just be a bit older for.

But, that’s just my perspective.

What you should do is be respectful of her decision, be obedient to it, and try to have a heart-to-heart. Maybe ask her when she might allow you to do those things so you have something to look forward to. Say, by your 14th or 15th birthday. Something like that.

Hang in there. It’s tough to be a teen, but it’s just as tough to be the parent of a teen.

Been there and doing that.


I got my cartilage pierced when I was 17. I’m not going to try to tell you not to do it, but I might suggest waiting. If you’re set on getting it done, do [I]not [/I]get it done at a place in the mall like Claires that will use a piercing gun on it. The trauma of the gun combined with the inability to properly sterilize all the parts can make your piercing get infected and/or abscess. And even a regular ol’ infection can be disastrous for your cartilage. Google image search Cauliflower Ear to see what I mean. :wink:

Go to a piercing place (many times tattoo parlors will have a licensed piercer), check it out, make sure that the place is clean and the people seem nice (if you have a question, you need to feel comfortable asking it!) and that they use single-use, sterile needles.

Once you get it pierced, keep it clean and make sure that nobody touches it until it heals! Follow your piercer’s cleaning suggestions (everyone’s are different). Mine took over a year to heal, but I think my body is slow to heal. It’s not uncommon for it to take at least 6 months, so you’ll have to keep that in mind… talk with the phone on the other ear, sleep on the other side, etc.

I quite like my earring, and I’m very glad that I got it. But, I’m also glad that I waited to get it. :wink:

Given your age and as a mom, i wouldn’t let you pierce your cartilage either… YET, depending upon circumstances. When you’re 16 if you still wanted your cartilage pierced and paid for it yourself i’d let you do it.

I’m proud mom to the “long haired gothic freak” and the “grunge” and the “jock” types. here’s the rules if they wish to continue to “express” themselves and choose their own manner of hair style and attire:

  1. Be respectful.
  2. stay out of trouble
  3. keep their grades up
  4. obey the house rules (i come across as strict but i’m fairly lax, they do their chores and obey the first 3 rules and I let them pretty much do as they will because they show me they’re responsible).
  5. If you grow your hair long, it WILL be neat and clean at all times or I get to pick the hairstyle (think “barber shop” and crew cuts)

The hair they got to decide from the time they were in school DURING THE SUMMER ONLY until they got into middle school.

and violation of the above rules? I pick out their clothing (khaki’s and polos with clean sneakers and traditional boy haircuts from the barber shops).

The hair dye does do lasting damage to your hair with the only way to “fix” it is to cut it off. Would your mom be willing to let you use a temp dye? (level 1 or 2) or how about taking your for highlights?

Thanks for all of you help guys, my mom said she thought the piercing would look very trashy and etc. (my friend got it done yesterday…i still want it though…) My mom said since my skin is a little dark (some mexican heritage there :wink: ) blond wouldnt look very good so that makes sense. She did let me get pink hair extensions today though…I had to pay for them though but thats okay. Although if I wanted a tattoo I think I’d get my wish because she has 2 XD. hehe
Again thanks for your help guys you always give awesome advice!

P.S. Although luckily she has been letting me pick out my own clothes without commentary. :wink: I bought some skinny jeans at Tillys and she actually liked them! Haha XD and tomorrow I’m going to Hot Topic to spend bday $$$$!!!

I’m glad that the two of you talked.

I’m proud of you. You’re handling this very well. I’m sure your mom will notice your mature attitude and eventually give you more freedom to make these decisions.


i didn,t see your post and would have said to talk it through as you have done. i went behind my mums back aty 15 and got my ears pierced she hit the roof. i can safley say taking earings out the day they were pierced hurts like flipping hell.

your mum sounds like a really cool mum letting you get your hairdyed etc. it pays being responsible the way you act around her then.

i must say i am very impressed by how you handled this, you have got half of what you wanted.
persoanally i wouldnt allow mychild at teh age of 13, not at the cartalage part of teh ear, the lobe i would but thats it. im 26 and got my lobe’s pierced last year though.

there are plenty of years to get that sort of thing done


I would agree with your mum sorry (and for the record i am 23, a student, left home at 17 have some VERY BIG tattoos and over the years have had 15 different piercings and a veritable rainbow of hair colours, im actually feeling horriobly plain at present!)

Cartilage piercings can be a little tricky so i prefere to see slightly older people getting them due to heeling and aftercare issues, plus the image factor. Maybe in another year, if you limited it to a very small plain stud or hoop. I see a lot of girls of your age with that sort of piercing and they can look trashy, so unfortunately it becomes associated with that ‘look’ which im sure you don’t want to be!

As for the hair, as sombody else said, once you start it can be very difficult to stop dying it, especially with lightening since you have to get it touched up a lot. This can lead to a lot of long term damage which can be costly and unsighlty. Getting the extensions is very cool both on your and your mums part.

Thanks guys! Yeah my mom would totally flip if I went and pierced my ear behind her back!!! I probably should wait, my mom says when I’m 18 I can do it because well technically I’d be emancipated and she can’t control me I think was the point she was trying to get at. :wink:
If you go on my myspace you can see the pink hair mascara :wink: I put in. I’m waiting to do the extensions after I get my haircut…around mid August…
I believe I have the link for it in my signature…
Thanks again for the help guys you give awesome advice!

Well i have some good news! The summer before 9th grade (1 more year) my mom will let me get my cartilage pierced because i guess she thinks its a phase or something right now, but she said if i still want to do it by then shell take me!!! Yay! haha XD

I am not suggesting that this is the way to go.
Between the ages of 11 and 14 I wanted to dye my hair vaious colors and pierce sveral areas… mom wouldn’t let me, but I did it anyway. I was forever in trouble, but she didn’t hate me shrug Now that I look back at pictures, I should have listened to her about the hair…
When I got my eyebrow pierced at 20, I didn’t tell her… granted I was at college, but it still took her like 3 days at home before she noticed. At that point, it was too late.
When I got my first tattoo ( I was just about to turn 23 and already married), I told her I was either getting a tat of a [SIZE=1][COLOR=pink]big hairy penis[/COLOR][/SIZE] between my breasts or the word “juicy” on my butt, I couldn’t decide… then when I came hme with a turtle on my left sholder blade, she said “cute!!!”

That said, cartlige piercing hurts more than regular piercing, and takes longer to heal. Don’t plan on riding any rollercoasters for the next 3 months. Also, have you even thought about how much you hit your ears when you brush your hair? If not, you’ll notice for sure after it’s pierced.

Further, at 30, my ears have a total of 15 piercings between them, and I maybe wear earrings once a month, int he first 3 holes only. Unless it’s a job interview, then the first holes only.

I personally, think the stigma on tattoos and piercings is fading, BUT, your mother is only looking out for your best interest, and I think you should heed her word. For now. :wink:

I am glad that you are respecting your mom’s decisions. As someone who grew up with dirty blond hair (now brown) I can understand you wanting to dye it blond. Everyone is right though, when you dye your hair it gets very expensive and very damaging. Not something you want to start at such a young age. If you want to naturally add some blond to your hair (won’t take you to a true blond, but will eventually turn lighter) you can rinse your hair with lemon juice every time you wash it. I used to do this and it looked like I had been out in the sun all summer.

You sound like a very sweet girl. Personally, I don’t like cartlidge piercing. I am old, though (52). My daughter got this done. She is now 22 and doesn’t have the cartlidge piercing anymore. She also, got her tongue pierced at 18. Doesn’t have it now, though. I hated it. I also, worried about her doing damage to her tongue. The point I am trying to make is that it must not have been that great, because she doesn’t have them anymore. No matter what the youth likes, a lot of adults hate the look. Some do judge by your look. They might start treating you differently, because of it. I try not to do this. Please try and see where your mom is coming from and realize that she loves you and wants the [U]best[/U] for you. You will always be better off if you keep the communication open with your mom. You probably won’t know how much she loves you until you have your own children and see how you feel about them. Hang in there. We all know how tough it is to be a teenager, especially for girls.

I was 15 when I had my ear pierced in the cartiladge, and I did it after my mom said no. That resulted in a huge argument. It ended up infected and caused all sorts of problems and seemed to take forever to heal. And sad to say after all that I can’t remember the last time I actually put an earring in that piercing. Listen to your mom I know it seems like they have no clue but later on you will look back and what she said will make perfect sense. I’ve had extension but they weren’t pink, they are great because when you’re sick of them you can have them removed and you won’t have to have them redyed like your own hair. Much better investment, if they are the same as the one’s I had they are reusable. Post pics when you have them put in.

Thanks again for all of your advice guys I do get what you are saying and totally understand the point you are trying to make. :slight_smile:
when i can resize the pictures, ill post them i promise. They are just with the hair mascara stuff, btw.

Okay my mom said I could do the whole lemon juice thing every now and then so thanks for the suggestion! Just gotta make sure i dont get it in my eyes XD

argh more help! :frowning: haha
I bought this hair mascara, Amuse Hair Mascara (Highlights for Hair)
wondering if anyone else has this, and if you know the colors they have let me know! I’ve spent the past hour on google trying to find it but I can’t. :frowning: Let me know! thanks in advance.

Hmm. Never heard of that brand.

My mom says no more than 1 hole in each ear but im going to skip a grade if not 2 and go to college way early. I’m going to do 2nd piercing 3rd piercing 2 cartiliges on 1 ear and 1 on the other. Plus i want my eyebrow pierced, my lip twice and a monroe.

I’m the mom who won’t let my daughter do those things. She’s 15. Sorry, I understand your pain but you will be able to do what you want in five years. In the meantime, be nice to your mom. She has her reasons even if she doesn’t express them very well and she has a right to say no.