Banned From Walmart :D

Got this from a friend today. I had me :roflhard:!!!

>>> This is hilarious!!!
>>> This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
>>> After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband
>>> accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.
>>> Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men–he found shopping
>>> and preferred to get in and get out.
>>> Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women–she loved to
>>> browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her
>>> Wal-Mart.
>>> Dear Mrs. Fenton,
>>> Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
>>> commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be
>>> forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.
>>> Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance
>>> cameras.
>>> 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
>>> carts when they weren’t looking.
>>> 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
>>> intervals.
>>> 3. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
>>> “Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.”
>>> 4. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of
>>> layaway.
>>> 5. September 14: Moved a “CAUTION - WET FL OOR” sign to a carpeted
>>> 6. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told
>>> shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and
>>> from the bedding department.
>>> 7. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
>>> crying and screamed, “Why can’t you people just leave me alone?”
>>> 8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
>>> mirror while he picked his nose.
>>> 9. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he
>>> the clerk where the antidepressants were.
>>> 10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
>>> humming the “Mission Impossible” theme.
>>> 11. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his “Madonna
>>> by using different sizes of funnels.
>>> 12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
>>> yelled “PICK ME! PICK ME!”
>>> 13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
>>> assumed a fetal position and screamed “OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES
>>> And last, but not least …
>>> 14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
>>> then yelled very loudly, “Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here!”
>>> Regards,
>>> >Walmart



That’s too funny - My brother did embarassing stuff (not quite that bad) at Walmart so his wife would leave him at home and take the kids with her instead !!!

From seeing the quacks that come in, I really don’t think Walmart would ban him!


Ive done some of those…:roflhard:

hilarious :roflhard:

OMG! LOL! :roflhard:

hmm that story sounds so strikingly familiar, it sounds like stuff I’ve done to the different “Marts” out there.

no joke, my friends and i decided we wanted to get kicked out of the walmart across the street from our school- i’ve seen this before in an email and i’m defiantely ganna print it out and use it! :roflhard:


sugarfunpouch I looooooooooove you Shih Tzu!

:roflhard::roflhard:tooooo funny!!!:roflhard::roflhard:
I can’t knit right now b/c of hand problems and it’s driving me nuts. I needed the laugh! Thanks!


Thanks for all the great ideas!

I’ve done a few of those. I’ll have to try some of the others. :thumbsup: