Why Xmas makes me bitter....(Long and ranty)

Lounge
41

Oh I hear yeah! It was like ppl stepping up to my ticket window and getting annoyed when I had to close down. No one cares that you have to take lunch, or that you are working from 10 am to 10 pm…

and yes…customers always have standard lines that they think are funny…(usually men)…When I was ushering, there was one halloween that because we couldn’t dress up, I threw in a pair of very removable fangs. It was a way of being dressed up without being dressed up, and if the boss came round, I had a quick escape. Can I tell you how many ppl offered me their orthadontist cards? Honest to goodness, they all thought they were the first ones!

One thing that always pissed me off was when a show would be sold out…and during walk in (the hour before a show starting) someone would come to my “Tickets Sales” window…(yet another sign reading rant to come at a later date)…and ask about tix for that nights show…and the immediate answer from any and all jack arses was “then why are you open?” Always buttered up with that snarky sarcastic tone too…

ARGH…yeah…I am open, a) cause it is my job, b) cause I am not just selling tonights show! c) cause if you had “shopping” to do before a show you would be the one ranting that nobody was here to sell you tix for another date!!! not to mention a whole world of other reasons…including handling problems!

To add to the other list of retail upsets let me add this…

1- Don’t get pissy at the clerk who actually checks your information. Every now and again the powers that be come in and instruct the staff about credit card fraud. This leads to the clerks having to abide by this new course of action actively for a week or two before the heat blows over…(not to mention, it should be a thing that happens all the time, not just once in a while…)

I can’t tell you how many times I have been yelled at cause someone hasn’t taken the time to sign the back of their credit card! Let me tell you now…unless otherwise stated, YOUR CARD IS NOT VALID WITHOUT A SIGNATURE…I am not talking to those who merely forget (though it really should be the FIRST thing you do when you get your card) I once had a lady argue me that her lawyer advised her not to sign her card, as it would make forging her signature easier! COME ON…it is much easier to make up a signature to forge one…and really…if you have a problem with signing your card…write SEE ID on the back and show another piece of ID EVERY TIME!!!

This is for your protection…and yes I can turn you away if you refuse to sign your card!

2 - in the same vein, if there is something that requires you to bring your credit card to pick up (likely tickets, but could also be lay away or some other such thing) remember what card you used and bring it! A joint card does not have the same digits on it! And these days, with businesses, you can’t see most of the card # (in my case only the last four digits) I can’t tell that most of the numbers are the same…just as being married doesn’t always in title you to pick up your spouses items…check first!

3-Always use your card!..if someone is sending you on an errand, and with their credit card…it is wrong! Use your credit card and have them pay you back. This includes family and spouses! If the name on the card does not match yours…then you can’t use it! I am sure most ppl don’t check…but I where I worked I had to look at the name (as I was entering into a computer) and I can’t tell you how often it comes up…ALOT…Please only ever use YOUR card…and do not send ppl along with your card either…there are so many reasons for this…!

Remember with Credit card stuff too, that it really boils down to your own protection. It may seem strange, but I can’t tell you how many times I have seen it happen where a man/woman have bought tix together, then split up. The tix were a gift to one, but of course on the others credit card…well… card holder is the legal owner of the tix, and I have seen both couples show up (both with new partners) trying to use them…

I have seen ppl try to use estranged spouses cards, I have seen teenagers try to use their parents cards (without permission) I have seen totally random ppl try and pick up other ppls tix. And I have seen co-workers not check credit cards and hand out tix to other ppl. (usually a night with two ppl of the same last name) DO LOOK AT WHAT YOU ARE SIGNING…

Ok…some of these things are pretty specialist to what I was doing specifically…but please do not panic if someone is questioning your credit card, (unless of course you think yours has been stolen, or lost) It is just to protect you! And it is the clerks job…although things have been lax in places, if one has the nerve to actually do his job right…don’t blame her/him…s/he isn’t doing anything wrong…!

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I’d like to add to the above credit card info…if the cashier asks for ID, hand it over WITH the card. I can’t tell you how many times, in this day and age of self-swiping, I’ve asked for ID and then get handed ONLY the ID. Well, that’s fine, you may be who you are, but I still don’t know if the credit card actually belongs to you.

And all the above goes for checks, too. I had an old bat call me an idiot a few weeks ago (or maybe she said I was idiotic, I can’t remember, I just know the word “idiot” was in there somewhere) because she wrote out a check and, when I asked for ID, she rattled off her driver’s license number and expiration date to me, since that’s the information we’re supposed to print at the top of each check. Well, that’s all fine and dandy, I wrote it down and then asked for ID again. She very rudely asked me why and I told her it’s because just writing the information at the top isn’t enough, I’m actually supposed to verify that the check is hers. That’s when she grumbled something with the word “idiot” involved.

43

Wow…I didn’t think places still took checks…

The only thing I use them for these days is to pay my parents for stuff…

We couldn’t take checks…it was out right not done…group sales would take them…but probably only cause they were mostly dealing with bookings months in advance, and thousands of dollars at once…

Yeah…I hear you…ppl get so defensive about surrendering ID…when it has nothing to do with making their life miserable…it is about protecting them…and doing our job. Gosh…I really don’t yearn to see someones mugshot drivers license pic…I HAVE to…rolls her eyes

44

Crycket, If I worked in retail I’d feel the same way. I hate shopping and am always trying to minimize what I get or buy thru the year when i see something that reminds me of someone.

I worked at a K-mart in college and Christmas Eve was the pits! Tons of really grouchy customers doing last minute shopping. Some customer got angry with me because she had asked a totally different employee to stick something under the counter instead of taking it to lay away and it was gone when she came back. Another employee had sold it to someone else.

The most blessed sound I heard was the assistant manager getting on the loudspeaker and told everyone that the store was closing so the employees could get home to their families. (((Whew)))

Bambi

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On the credit card note, I’m always really HAPPY when someone wants to check my ID! Not everyone does it.

B

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Oh, and checks? They used to walk in the K with just a check in their pocket and no ID, especially the men. It was not really in good walking distance to any residential area and most of them drove. They were all driving around without their licenses!

B

47

Totally understand how you feel. I’ve never worked in retail because I don’t think I’d be able to handle it. It amazes me that people think that they don’t have to be polite to retailers. It just makes since to treat them nicely as they are the ones that can get you what you want/need. Not to mention the whole ‘they’re people too’ thing.

On the credit card thing. I heard that by not signing your credit card you actually void your contract with the credit card company. So you may be able to buy things with it but the extra insurance that comes with it doesn’t apply. Plus if your card does get stolen you’d be responsible for the entire amount charged to it not just a portion. And a clerk has the right to cut up the card if you don’t sign it. I don’t have a credit card so I’ve never read the contract but I wouldn’t be to surprise if the above was true.

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You reminded me of the December I spent in Hallmark hell…I worked at a fairly nice bookstore, but being in charge of all the Hallmark CRAP I had to put together their horrible ornament displays. I think a two-year-old designed those things! Even worse was listening to supposedly grown-up women telling me I had ~personally~ ruined a 20-year-old family tradition by running out of that one silly ornament they needed…creating scenes and the adult (?) version of a major temper tantrum…lines a mile long just to snarl at the poor cashier who couldn’t afford to buy half of the garbage she had to ring up!

That was my 2nd or 3rd year officially not celebrating Christmas. Ten years later, I’ve never regretted it. My co-workers at my much saner job this year are stressing over all the stuff they “have” to do, the things they can’t afford to buy, being ‘bad’ because they can’t give their kids piles of crap. I’m just glad for a few days off work with pay!

Thank you for helping me realize once again just how truly lucky I am!

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“My obsession aside…I saw a group on Facebook the other day that was “Its Merry Christmas, Not Happy Holidays”…
That kinda bugged me…this whole debate about which is appropriate to say…Quite frankly say what you feel comfortable saying…If someone says “Merry Christmas” to me, my knee jerk reaction back has been [COLOR=“Red”]“Stay Warm”[/COLOR] in the last few years…but to each there own…smiles”

:yay: :roflhard: :yay: :roflhard: :yay: :roflhard: :yay: :roflhard:

I LOVE it, Crycket!! I’m all for “to each her own”, but as an agnostic who completely ignores the religious aspect of the holiday in question and rejects all the bad, sad childhood associations with the secular part, I’m always looking for creative (but polite) comebacks. I bet I’ll have a chance to use yours tomorrow! :happydance:

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Christmas Eve reminded me why, although I don’t “hate” Christmas, it does elevate my stress level and gives me a severe case of the blues.

DH and I have been married 29 years. We dated a few years prior to that. So, for roughly 33 years, my in-laws have been very well aware that I attend church on Christmas Eve. Also, before we got married, my family always had “Christmas” on Christmas Eve as we went to my grandparents on Christmas Day. Well, his family also had their Christmas on Christmas Eve, as some of his siblings went to their in-laws on Christmas Day. So, my family adapted their schedule and went with Christmas on Christmas day…and until my grandparents passed away, it made things kind of hectic - run to my folks for breakfast and presents, then hit the road for the g’parents.

Anyway, as is with most families, there are generally smaller children involved. With me attending church, we got there later than everyone else. After the first couple of years (and some snide remarks about how tired the kids were getting waiting for us to get there), they started getting into the idea of putting the kids down for a nap or rest time earlier in the evening so they wouldn’t be so “worn out”. Well, the kids who were little then have all grown up, and my youngest nieces are 11 and 12 and have NO problem staying up 'til all hours, LOL! However, we’ve now added step-nieces and nephews ranging from 2-9. (And, I might add, the only time I see these kids is at Christmas, so I don’t hardly even know them). Of course, we all have to buy for the kids, but the adults don’t even do a “draw names” Christmas exchange (and yes, this sounds Scrooge-y of me, but DH and I have no children, so we’ve had years and years of spending for others and we don’t get anything…kind of leaving us to feel like “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free”. I mean, would it be so tough to buy just a token something, or even have each adult draw one name, set a limit, and get one person something? Just a little sign of appreciation and love to another adult member of the family?). So, I get home from church, hubby loads up the car, and away we go. Oh yeah, did I mention we’d had major ice storms with some snow on top of it? Any my in-laws live in the country in the middle of nowhere, where the roads are horrible??? We get there, just in time to see everyone leaving!!! My older nieces were still there, but were leaving in 15 minutes. So, we dragged the stuff in, had them open their presents, and said goodbye to them. Oh yeah, and I got the “well, those little kids were just too tired from running around all evening, and were ready to go to bed” with a tone of nasty from my MIL. Hello??? Remember the “quiet time” from years ago??? They KNOW we’re going to be there a tad late, so instead of running the kids ragged before we get there, why not put them down for a rest, at least???

So, basically I spent a day shopping, looking for just the right things, basically to be told I’m an inconvenience.

I told hubby next year he could go by himself, leave as early as he wanted, and I’d go to church and just come home and fix myself some hot cocoa and watch a Christmas movie. It sure would do a lot to make me feel more “peace on earth, goodwill to men”, than this type of snub.

It just ain’t worth it.

Now yesterday, at my parent’s house was great - full Christmas dinner, presents for everyone, time spent watching “It’s A Wonderful Life”, no pressure (DH even got in a 2 hour nap, so obviously it wasn’t as stressful as his parent’s house is for the both of us)…and I thank heaven that’s the way my Christmas ended!!!

So, yeah…it doesn’t just end with the retail end - family can get you nuts as well.

51

You said it! Family can beat ya down as far as whiny customer!

And I am sure the “snide/snarky” comments come in every family…

To me it is just like a mini reunion…a time to suss out who is doing better or worse than you…!

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[B]Hello all…[/B]

[B][INDENT]Anyone who has worked or lived around me around the Holidays will tell you I am not a fan…[/INDENT][/B]

Nor am I…

About fifteen years ago I was doing my holiday shopping at a mall and suddenly realized how miserable I felt being around all the chaos and negativity from the shoppers and of course the retail workers. I never had the money to spend, not really. I did spend it, but I honestly shouldn’t have. I could have gotten creative but back then I was more a singer in a band and not very craft-worthy.

It was my last Christmas, as far as the way we traditionally celebrate it. Each season therafter I simply did not participate in any way shape or form but to try to attend Handel’s [I]Messiah[/I] if it were being performed in my area.

Many people I know have done the same. I got a letter one year from a friend. He sent it out to everyone he knew. It was touching, really, as he explained his reasons for “opting out” of the madness.

I understand many companies depend upon the holiday to actually come out in the black for the year, but seriously…

Christmas is for children, in my opinion. And I have no young children. Even for them, I think it is tricky. How much stuff does a child need?

This year, it’s been really hard on the unemployed and I am hoping a trend will develop where these holidays will be less about buying stuff and more about charity, and giving. Then again, I hate it that the holidays are the only time we ever hear about the incredible number of needy, even desperate people in our country and world.

I simply realized I was getting depressed around the holidays. Now, and ever since I simply stopped “doing” Christmas, I have been doing much better. Today is the day after Christmas and I feel like it didn’t even happen for me. But I do not feel as if I missed anything.

53

This is an interesting point…I was watching Fred Claus the other week…and they made an interesting point about how childrens requests have become unmanageable (in context it creates plot, but out of context, it was a very interesting point to me…) Back even 60-70 years ago, kids were asking for peace from war, and such things as this. My mom (who was born in 1957) reminded me that purse stings were tight when she was young (having been brought up by a single mom) and that her best hope was to scrap up a Barbie doll…These days it seems like anything less then an iPod and an Xbox is an insult. I was talking with co-workers who mentioned each kid being about $200…WOW…

Given that is not all kids who ask for or want all that…but still it gives me pause…what happened to the simple things in life…

This gets me too…yeah…this can go so many ways too…

You get those who only open their eyes to causes only at xmas, then there is looking so globally you forget about your own backyard. But here is the sadest part and a very true one for me…who do you trust…

As a Guider (Girl Guide Leader) I get exposed to many situations involving the community. I was talking with a fellow Leader (who was involved in Scouts) who told me how every year she would take her unit to deliver to the “needy”, packages that had been put together - Mainly for kids, and would be donated by companies mainly. To get such a package, one needed to be nominated. Now, she told me it was a really hard thing to do…going to a house, you could be delivering to a family where it was clear the kids hadn’t eaten properly, and all they had for furniture was an old mattress on the floor…but then there were houses, she said, you would pull up to and there was a Mercedes in the driveway, and clearly no need for such charity.

For that…it pains me that anyone has to live in the first conditions, but pains me just as much that there are ppl who are cheating the system. It is the latter that makes me hesitant to help out…

It is like this…have you ever heard of the shaky lady from Down Town TO? http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/1024896474326_20305674

Even as a follow up article, it is hard to tell what is sincere and what is lawyer speak…either way…it is the few bad apples that spoil the whole basket…and for me…I want to be able to trust that any good cheer I am spreading around gets to the ppl who REALLY need it…

54

This is strictly my opinion, but in regard to “Christmas being for children”, I tend to disagree. I don’t think there’s anyone who doesn’t appreciate a little “I think you’re special, and I’m happy that you’re a part of my life” acknowledgement.

If you read my rant earlier, I was (am) upset that it is decreed that I buy for all the children in the family - some of whom I see once a year, if that. (And, BTW, nobody has “decided” when they stop being children…13, 15, 16, 18??? Nobody knows. Add to that, prior to this decision, I spent years buying stuff for nieces, nephews, step-nieces, etc. well into their 20’s).

I don’t have kids, and am old enough that I never will. So, I’ve turned into the toy ATM machine…except nobody ever deposits anything into the ATM. I’m not asking for tons of lavish gifts. I simply think it would be nice if each adult drew from a hat and got 1 person a gift, and at a preset dollar limit. Something crafty? I’d love it!!! Get a box of inexpensive Christmas tree ornaments, and add some unique decorations that reflect the person you’re giving them to. Can you bake? While you’re doing your Christmas baking, make an extra dozen and give them to someone. It doesn’t have to cost a ton…I just personally think it would be nice if the adults in the family were at least acknowledged.

I guess part of it is because I like making things and giving them to my in-laws. It would just be nice to know that they appreciate me for who I am and not just as a gift giving machine for their grandkids, kids, etc. (Which, needless to say, is exactly the way I feel now…and after the treatment I got this year, I don’t care if I spend another Christmas Eve with them or not. Hubby can go, and I’ll stay home. I’m the *itch either way, so might as well at least be a *itch who’s having a relaxing evening instead of being picked to pieces)

55

Christmas has become some warped version of itself. I think that the massive gift giving frenzy has been mainly directed at kids…and that is what that is about. I know as I have gotten older, as well as my dad, and more to an extreme my grandma, I don’t want the piles of stuff that come anymore. I would be happy with a token item or so, and even better if it is consumeable, or useable. Things like a bottle of wine, or a pair of socks…etc…Something that won’t accumulate…better yet something that you can use and feel good about…unlike some presents I have received that I have to keep for many years because if I don’t, the person that got it for me in the first place would feel offended.

My grandma is even more extreme as she utters every year “anything you get me, you are just going to inherit in a few years anyway”…so I have taken to getting her like angel worry stones and socks…

My mom loves xmas though…and can be just as big a kid as the rest of them…she loves to tell me not to get her anything every year, and then proceeds to give me a list to rival any 4 year olds…

It can be so complicated…there are ppl that love xmas for the tradition it has become, there are ppl that still hold it dear for its religious meaning, I guess there is something for anyone who wants…Santa for the kids, Nativity for the adults…and then there are ppl like me who just love turkey and booze…which is really all xmas means to me…drink til the relatives are funny!

I like Halloween…which seems to have been twisted as much as Xmas…it is all about the kids these days, but deep down still has a meaning… I just love to dress up, and have fun…but I haven’t gone door to door since I was…16 or so…(Once we got “too old” for trick or treating, my BFF and I would go at about 8 pm, when all the little kids were likely to be done, but before ppl started turning off the lights…and we would go in a good costume - not like some of the teens today who throw on there crummiest sweatshirt and army boots and go as an emo kid… If I wanted to go today, I would have to be accompanied by a child…and I am not really interested in being a parent…so…I guess no more trick or treats for me!) The best thing I can do now is throw a halloween party for me and my friends…and that is good…

Anyway…I guess all that was to say, the holiday is what it is in your heart! I may be the biggest Humbug at X-mas but I am the biggest 29 year old kid you will find the rest of the year round! Just cause I am not a kid anymore doesn’t mean the world isn’t my oyster!

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I’m glad you find fun at other times of the year. You don’t have to love Christmas if you don’t want. But it sounds like you’d like to, if you could get family to co-operate. Here’s what we do, in case you want to start negotiations for next year:
Years ago, we realized that the celebrating with family was most important. Gifts are fun but secondary. We celebrate 3 ‘family’ Christmases and I truly love them all. We take turns hosting, everybody contributes to the meal.
In 2 cases, we hang out regularly all year long, Christmas is just a little more special. The adults pick names and each family buys something for the few kids. At one of these we also do stockings for everyone. (Each family buys/makes a handful of little things for everyone else’s stocking. Adds to the fun with more gifts, while keeping things inexpensive.)
The 3rd Christmas is with people who didn’t speak to each other for several years. Everyone got past the estrangement once we started having our own families though and learned to respect each other’s right to live our own lives. We only interact a few times per year, but honestly care for each other and are happy to catch up. It’s a large group (12 adults & slightly more kids). So each kid buys a gift for 1 cousin, and each family buys one stocking stuffer for every kid. The only adults who get gifts are mom & dad.

Christmas really is what you make of it. If you don’t have family who will co-operate, find your own way to enjoy it or opt out if you so choose. Good luck next year, if you try to find Christmas spirit.

57

Yup. Stressful, fabricated BS IMHO.

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My wife teaches in a very Hispanic town here in CT. The custom in Puerto Rico and other places is to go the church and have a nice dinner on Dec. 25th and then have the presents and hoopla on Jan 6th, Three Kings Day. (Its also a school holiday most years). They seem to do a better job at segregating the commercial aspects from the religion.

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Well, at least for those of us who don’t do this season well tonight will be the last of it!! We can wake up tomorrow and put this holiday season behind us!!!

Me, I plan to start looking forward to GROUNDHOG’S day, now THERE is a holiday you can celebrate!!

60

Yeah, unless you keep waking up to the same day over and over and over and over…