What to do?

We recently received an “invitation” from some relatives to “save the date” for their [U]wedding renewal ceremony[/U]. I’m not up on all the latest wedding fru-fru (never have been and not gonna start now), but is this a normal thing for couples to have? And are we supposed to send a gift?

I thought a renewal of vows were for people who were having a rocky marriage and wanted to recommit to each other. This couple isn’t having any rockiness, so what’s with this anyway–just a chance to throw a party for themselves and get presents?

We have a previous engagement, so we can’t attend, but meanwhile I’m finding this a strange thing to ask of friends and relatives.

What’s normal? My DD and SIL were married by a judge and for their 10th anniversary had a big wedding–with the two kids involved. It was really cool. My sister and her DH renewed their vows at some point, I can’t remember which year for them, but it was a much smaller do. There weren’t presents at either of these. For whatever reason, it might be that they want a big party, they’ve chosen this way to commemorate their marriage. Do I understand it? Nope. My idea of the perfect wedding would be a very small number of people involved and low key.

:?? Unless this couple is in the habit of throwing themselves parties and expecting gifts I see no reason to consider this a negative.

Renewals aren’t uncommon. I’ve never heard of one being used for a rocky marriage. They are normally just done as a recommitment and many people do them on their 10th, 25th or some other one considered significant to them.

IMO you don’t need to send a gift. If you feel you need to maybe a gift card to a nice dinner they can share. I [I]would[/I] send a card congratulating them on 10 or 25 (whatever) years.

Ahhh . . . okay. That’s good to know, Jan and GG. I guess I’m just not very familiar with this kind of thing.

They might get a card. I’ll have to see if I can find a suitable one.

Thankfully, though, we have a family reunion to go to, so we’re off the hook as far as attendance goes! Whew!

Or just write a note. I don’t think this calls for a present either. Just a nice way to celebrate an anniversary with friends and family.

Most marriages these days don’t seem to last long enough to plan something like this. It is a nice way to commemorate stubborn stick-to-itiveness. That’s one of the main qualities I see in people who stay married for years and years. How long have they been married?

If I were guessing, I would say it’s probably their 10 year anniversary, so let’s just say they have [U]some[/U] “stick-to-itiveness,” but they haven’t demonstrated tons of it just yet. All the same, we’ll send a nice chatty card wishing them the best.

BTW: They love to travel, so DH seems to think that this is just an excuse to go on another honeymoon! :teehee: He could be right! If one needs an excuse, any ol’ one will do!