I’ve not got any advice but 
to you. I hope you manage to get the situation resolved soon so you aren’t stressed anymore
Take your friend to lunch (minus the shopping) and share this with her. I think what you wrote was poignant. Maybe write it in a card. Yes, now that I think about it, writing things down has a totally different affect than listening to someone talk, face-to-face.
She can’t argue what’s on paper, and she’ll re-read your words over and over. Plus, writing allows you to think about what you want to say first, unlike having a regular conversation where we say things we can’t take back.
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Thanks Nat a letter is in the works:teehee:
I had a friend like that once who turned on the waterworks if she was confronted, she also used to spread lies about herself and others and her stories had to be better than yours or more elaborate. I felt sorry for her as she was just trying to be popular, but at the end of the day I’m not a psychiatrist. I now keep minimal contact, never tell her anything personal and I never go shopping with her.
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I’ve been reading this post for a couple days and every time I read it I wonder WHY??? Why are you even worrying about keeping this friend in your life??
My advice, old and jaded as it is, is STOP putting yourself in positions where this can happen. Stop shopping with her, stop showing her what you are doing. Stop allowing her to have that kind of control in your life. There is nothing positive for you in this realationship, she is not a friend she is more like a parasite sucking your life out of you.
Sounds harsh I know but you can distance yourself from this person in a kind way if [B]YOU[/B] chose to. If you allow it to continue it’s your fault.
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Ginny I guess I put up with it because I feel bad for her. I mean she has no other friends and I feel that without me and my fiance’s friendship she would be a withdrawn, severely lonely individual…I mean she has a depression problem and I don’t want that to escalate because of me turning away from her alltogether ya know?!
I’m talking to you like I would my own daughter (she’s 23 too)!!! You cannot be responsible for another persons happiness. You can be kind and caring and try to be a friend but there comes a point in time when you must step back and let that person stand on their own while YOU take care of yourself.
This person is not a friend and I am not advocating being mean or cruel but I do think you need to take care of yourself and perhaps she will realize that her actions have consequences. You are carrying the burden of her issues and that is just wrong, wrong for you and for her.
As someone said in an eaarlier post you are not her psychiatrist. As long as you enable the behavior she will not get the help she needs and you will make yourself miserable.
I love what Nonny said…make a little game out of it…select something ghastly, let her buy it too…then return yours later! Tee Hee! :teehee: That is rich!
Also, another good point Nonny made…Some people-combinations are ‘toxic’. Poisonous to one, or both. A little distance maybe? Yes. Accept 1 out of every 3 invitations to do something together. Say yes one time, say no the next 2 times.
But, I still love the shopping thing! Please let us know if you try that! :woot:
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[FONT=“Verdana”]Tell her to back off and get over herself.
…
'Yknow, the amount of friends I still have astounds me.
I’m sorry. My advice fails. [/FONT]
My step-father used to tell me that you can count the number of close friends on one hand. Hmmm…I can count mine on two or three fingers (not counting y’all, of course! 
)
I think you need to tell her exactly that, “grow up and get your own life”.
I think the shopping thing could be fun though. Just a litle payback for the tourture you have been going through…
But that’s just my :evil: sence of humor, kicking in.
You don’t have to mean or feel guilty, and the reason she may not have any other friends is because this has happened with everyone else. But if you have tried to explain to her how you feel and nothing has changed, then it may be time to just cut youtr losses.
Hi all I am new to the forum as well as to knitting so what I have to say don’t count for much. Hunny did you ever see a dog who thinks he is a cat? Sometimes when people are around one another all of the time they aquire the same tastes in clothes and activities. If you don’t like it when you shop together then plainly say please don’t get that I saw it first, lets find something else that looks good on you.(keep trying this some people have cotton in thier heads) Or just say get a different color. If she is doing the same hobbies as you maybe she wants that to be a together thing (who knows) . I had a cousin like that the girl wore what I wore did the same things as me. One day I said you are not my mirror! Poor thing didn’t have a clue. I told her to stop copying me. Stop stealing my ideas (choir) she said I gave her the courage to wear what I wear and do what I do. I told her fine but get your own clothes! Hunny it sounds like you are fed up with this person altogether,( from what I read) she sounds like she is annoying you. You may have grown tired of her. That is ok. Just tell her. Sometimes we stop caring about the people we are with, sometimes they care too much and they try to be us. Cut the string now these people are hard to get rid of when you are older. I am still stuck with my cousin.
Now can someone tell me how to make a hat. Can I use any ol yarn and needles? My neighbor thought this would be a fun thing to do. I said I am not a granny but I think I hurt her feeling so here I am.
One more thing darlin maybe she thinks she is loseing you, so she is grabbing onto anything she can to keep your friendship, if not your friendship then little pieces of ya. (crazy but it happens)
Gloria
I am new to all of this knitting and such. So my say don’t count.
Hunny it sounds like you nolonger care for this perosn. You seem like you only want to be a friend to her out of pitty. Maybe subconsciensly she feels this and she is trying to hang on. She may feel like she is loseing you. But if you want to keep your friend tell her what I told me mirror (my cousin) get your own clothes. My cousin P used to dress like me (she even joined my choir wanted to “hang out”) hunny the girl didn’t have a clue. She said I gave her confidence to wear what I did. I said find something similar than! This is mine. She seems to get under your skin, do you get under hers. DO you two fight all of the time? Does she think you are closer friends than you do darling? This may be bothering you so much becasue you don’t like her anymore. That is fine hunny. Just tell this mirror to get a new image and a new friend. Hunny you do not need to be around people you don’t like. Sounds to me like you don’t like her anymore. She is a big girl I am sure she can handle it don’t be a pity friend sweet heart you sound too nice.
Now does anybody know how to make a haat? cna I use any ol yarn and needles?
G.