I too am Episcopal, and I haven’t thought of mom and dad or just dad…I know alllll about the organ (but EXCELLENT advice) since it’s my dad’s church.
I was thinking for the favors, getting those M&M’s that you can have printed to say whatever, with our names and the date…that way if everyone didn’t eat them…we could send the extra’s home with the kids. 
Keep the advice comming!!! :woot:
First of all, congrats! It sounds like you are doing a super job with the planning and cautiously investigating that beautiful dress. As someone who recently went through all this, it is not easy but you’ve got a huge leg up.
I must echo the others, though, that there is no good way to get people to give you money. People will insist on buying you things, so I advise registering for a small number of things at a place where you can always use the credit. Otherwise, you’ll just get random stuff from random stores. Even though we registered at 3 different places, we still got random stuff, but at least it was kept to a minimum.
Also, tell your families to tell everyone you don’t need ‘things’ but are saving up for a special honeymoon, or down payment on a house/paying down a mortgage, etc. Hopefully people will get the hint. Good luck!
I haven’t read all the replies, but at my Oldest ds’s wedding, they put on the invitations that they were having a “card Well.” I had no idea what that was and had to ask beforehand, but maybe most people are smarter than I.
Congratulations!
I would find it okay to mention that you’ve decided not to register for gifts since you’ve the “blessed task of merging two households of goods” (pick better words).
I think that is subtle enough but still points out that you have a lot of stuff.
There are always going to be people who give what they want. In my circles many of ‘us’ don’t bother registering because it just isn’t followed. Mostly because it seems like ‘you aren’t putting thought into the gift, you’re just picking something off the list.’ At least that’s how a great Aunt put it.
But for those that are reading between the lines, they’ll catch on that you have enough stuff and will likely give cash or at the least gift cards.
The dress is so pretty!!
We were going to have a bird cage that people could fill with cards if they wanted to…usually they have a box that people can drop the cards in…I’m not sure why but all the weddings I’ve been to it’s just done but noone ever asks :shrug:
We were going to have a Christmas Wedding…instead we told mom and took off to VA…just dh, the preacher, me, and a witness…mom took dad to McD’s and told him the news…my dress is still hanging at mom’s waiting to be worn :oo:
There is no polite way to ask for cash. Just like mentioning the registry (in the invitation) should also not be done, because demanding gifts is not polite. Any mention of a money dance, a cash box, etc. in the invitation is also impolite, as it is implying that the only reason you’re throwing the party is to get cash, not to celebrate your joy with others. Gift giving is completely optional on the part of the giver. Demanding any gift in any invitation is presumptuous. The only acceptable mention of gifts on an invitation is of the “please no gifts” sort.
Your preference of gift (money or registry) should be passed by word of mouth. Make sure your parents, siblings, and attendants know and they handle the job of passing it along to everyone else.
I am now plan ‘b’ on a friends wedding dress as the one she got from ebay was not only whey too small, but the construction was dreadful. She could only get part of her money back. It wasn’t the seller your linked to but the auction is so alike I wonder if they are using a new name. I know they seem like good deals, but you have to be so careful, the quailty of the dress was dreadful, really not as described.
Good luck with the rest of the planning, it does have a way of getting away from you.
Beautiful dress!!
Some friends of mine were married this past summer. She was 31 and he was almost 37. They had everything they needed, and he has a good job so they didn’t need money for themselves. They stated in their invitations that “in lieu of gifts, please give a donation to Charity X or Charity Y.” One was a scholarship fund at a college, and another was a fund to buy books for new moms to read to their babies. It was non-traditional but it worked OK. If you just want $ (and I can’t go back and check if you said that, or if you said you didn’t need $ or gifts), I don’t think there is a good way to say that. They still sent thank you notes for the donations, though.
Just a thought, but maybe take the pictures of the dress to a good local dressmaker and see what she can do with it. Probably the beadwork won’t happen, but the basic structure of the dress should be easy enough for a good dressmaker to accomplish just from the pictures.
I have to wonder if the reason so many people have had trouble with “too small” dresses is the difference between metric and imperial measuring systems.