I would LOVE to bring my dogs with me everywhere I go, but I know other people wouldn’t appreciate that. I don’t bring my dogs anywhere unless they are expressly welcomed in the first place… such as the vets office, PetSmart, or a friends house who has asked me to bring them. I wouldn’t assume that they were welcome anywhere. They’re dogs, and I know they’re dogs, and I know not everyone is as in love with them as I am. (Although they should be. )
Even if my friends have dogs, I have to be sure my dogs are welcome first. I wouldn’t want someone with a great dane or rottweiler to assume she could bring them over whenever she wanted.
Kids are a different story. If I invite someone over who has kids, I expect the kids to come along too. Which is why I rarely invite anyone over who has kids. My SIL has 3 (with another on the way) and they are a headache and a half. One of them once got into my teenager’s nail polish and painted his little brother green. The little brother once pooped on the floor in the hallway. Yes, a kid… not a dog. Annoying and frustrating, but they’re family.
Do not be afraid to say, “NO” to your brother. I personally would not let someone else bring their dog to my home, esp not indoors. I have had dogs and cats as pets but we never asked people if we could bring our pets. We left them at home. They are pets, not children.
I have noticed a glut of ill behaved animals out there. When I was pregnant and going for a walk, there was one house I used to pass that the dog would jump on me every time! The owner would come out and say, “He’s fine. He won’t bite.” Well, that’s not the point. The point is that the owner is not training his animal not to jump, especially on a pregnant woman with a shifted center of gravity. I had to change my walking route.
As much as I love dogs (and we have one) I would never take her to someone’s house unless she was specifically invited. By the same token I think it would be not only rude but presumptious for someone to bring their pet to my house.
I also don’t think taking your children, unless invited, is the considerate thing to do. Some children are well-behaved and others are holy terrors. It all boils down to being considerate, not taking others for granted.
when it comes to kids, ours are well behaved at other people’s house. HOWEVER, when they call up to invite, i tell them off the bat if I don’t have a sitter (the 20 year old works and also babysits for us) or if i need to check. Sometimes a kid-free evening is nice…
We also ahve friends that work hard for their things and have different areas of their house designated as “adults only/kids only” and we respect their rules too.
I only take my dog to folks’ houses who tell me I can and the ones who do bring up the subject. I don’t ask. Basically, it’s just my mom and a couple of cousins. There are so many people who just will not discipline their kids and make them behave and the result is that there are a LOT of kids who are not enjoyable to be around.
They were seedlings, so were very small (mostly) so I have some more - but I have put off looking at it as it will annoy me and I was hoping my sis would get the hint and tidy up the mess.
I have a dog who is very well trained, is very good with cats and other animals, listens (most of the time!) and has never had an accident in the house. But I would never assume he is welcome without asking first.
Cyrus is welcome at all my friends’ houses because he is good but I never “assumed” it was OK to bring him! Anyway, his life is so good missing out on a visit ain’t gonna kill him!
Sounds like your brother is just very excited about his new family member and wants to show off a bit, but it is YOUR house and YOUR rules. You should not be uncomfortable in your own home.
The only time I was offended was one time Cyrus and I were invited to a cook-out by a family member. Cyrus, as always was welcome…until one of their ignorant friends heard there was going to be a Rottweiler there and spewed all kinds of nonsense. Cyrus got disinvited so I disinvited myself.
I will always take a stand on that kind of breed specific crap.
I love animals of all types but except for sometimes being very tempted to someday sneak a “scary” pet like a snake or a rat into my parent’s house, I would never take my animals anywhere they weren’t specifically invited. But then I wouldn’t take kids unless they were invited, either. I’m OK with calm, well-behaved kids, but the ones who are out of control, poorly trained, or hyperactive make me very nervous. Animals or children can cause messes, damage, or simply inconvenience that a person who chooses not to own pets or have kids chose not to deal with when they chose not to have pets/kids. That could range from dander/fur or crumbs/fingerprints to ruined heirlooms, and even the most helpful, wonderful pet owner/parent can’t alleviate all of the stress that comes with the arrival of an uninvited guest.
Don’t hesitate to discuss with your brother the fact that you are uncomfortable with his new dog being inside your house.
Denise - Its too bad that some people are so discriminatory against certain breeds. Some of the nicest dogs I know are “dangerous” breeds - but I won’t get started on that. Just wanted to say good for you for standing up for Cyrus. Give him a kiss and tell him I said he’s a good boy and some people are just plain silly.
I have both dogs and cats and I would never even think to bring them with me when invited someplace unless I was specifically asked to bring them, which shockingly has never happened. Before we got a dog, we had people ask to bring their dogs with them when they came over. The answer is always no. If they want to be with their pet so much they can just stay home IMO.
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