Very Hurt By Ravelry-Caution-A Little Whiney

#1

I just want to tell all of KH how much I appreciate being part of this group. I just spent time on ravelry. There’s a political thread in the Remnants forum (not one of the politcal groups), and I’ve been reading. I’ve not participated much, but the few times I have, I’ve come away feeling attacked. Those people are really bloodthirsty. The last time I chimed in, I was put in my place in a way that hurt my feelings so much that I have been in tears much of the day. I still tear up when I think about it. Now, I know I battle depression, and tend to be overly emotional sometimes, but I really was hurt. I don’t know why I’m letting it bother me so much, and that fact is making me mad at myself. Sometimes I hate myself.

Here, we all seem to genuinely like eachother. I know we don’t know eachother personally, it’s just such a welcoming and friendly atmosphere. I mean, even on the two political threads here, where there is plenty of disagreeing, there is still a respectful tone. Not the personal attacks that are allowed on ravelry.

I hate myself for something I did over there. I got so upset, and I’ve been very emotional lately anyway, that I have been crying most of the day. DH is very protective of me because of my illness and some of the things I’ve been through lately, so he was ready to defend me. So I let him get on and defend me. I know, I know-It was a bad idea. Anyway, a lot of people have clicked the “funny” button, and the “disagree” button, so now I feel like I’m just a laughing stock over there. I don’t know what to do to fix it. I don’t what people to dislike me, and think my husband thinks for me. He was just helping me. And I’m the one who asked him to.

Anyway-I have to go now, because I’m starting to cry again. I hope I’m not going to be a laughing stock over here too.:cry:

#2

I would suggest not reading that thread!!! Getting that sad
is not worth it

#3

PM"D you

#4

I’ve participated in that Forum and yes, the emotions are running pretty hot. There are strong opinions on both sides of the issues, particularly about Sarah Palin. I haven’t seen many (well, not many) personal attacks, but a number of people who have done extensive homework and know their facts have been impatient with others who have made unsubstantiated statements, or posted opinions based on nothing but their feelings.

Believe me, you are not a laughingstock, there or here. If you feel you made a mistake, well, you made it; it’s over. If others misjudged you, it’s their problem, not yours. It is also possible that you – or I, or anybody on that Forum – may be wrong. Good information can change opinions. Look at the whole thing as an opportunity to learn, not a personal attack.

Whatever you said over there, and whatever anyone said to you, one of the great things about America is that people can still disagree, even though that freedom seems to be eroding. I am sorry that you suffer from depression: I’ve been there and I know that it hurts; and I am sorry that your feelings have been bruised. It might be better if you stay away from discussions that upset you.

#5

I understand your pain, Jdee. However, take Doodknitwit’s advice and just walk away from the thread.

No matter what forum you’re on, there will always be someone who either forgets or just doesn’t have any manners. Some forums don’t have any kind of moderation, others do and thank goodness our KH has people with manners and people who moderate.

Ravelry is a huge community and personal feelings tend to get lost in the crowd. Don’t right the entire site off because of a few louses…it has plenty of positive forum groups and the information within its boundaries is tremendous and can help you.

#6

Ahh, Big Hug Jdee!:hug:
Listen, I have witnessed alot of not so nice things said on sites on the Internet. Some are because some people are ignorant, rude or just plain mean. Some people just don’t care about other people’s feelings as long as they get to say what it is they want to say.
Sometimes people like to think they are big shots:grrr: and have to put their two cents in where it doesn’t belong. That just happened to me, and I was going to reply to it, but it is so not worth it. Also, trying to figure out what a person may mean in an email can be hard.

Now that being said, there are tons more nice people, people who would give you the shirt off their back, money out of their piggy bank, their last cookie:mmm: (o.k., maybe not their last cookie:teehee: ) on this site and they don’t even KNOW you!

Forget about it…go take a warm bath or get off the computer and read a book. I promise you, those people that you were dealing with today are not giving it a second thought tonight…and neither should you…life is too short.:muah:

Jen:knitting:

#7

Very well spoken…you go girl!!!:cool:

#8

This is why we work so hard to keep threads from turning hurtful here. It’s also why we prefer that people NOT post political threads in the first place.

:hug::hug:

#9

I read the thread you are talking about (I didn’t participate in it though), and I hope you know some people defended you. And I’m not talking about your husband. :hug:

Don’t take these things personally. There are people on ravelry who just love to challenge other people’s ideas, and love to be challenged in return. Unfortunately, some of them forget about the person behind the challenge. I, too, really wish we could all be careful about other people’s feelings. :hug:

Seriously, don’t let “funny” and “disagree” buttons ruin your life. It’s really, really not worth it. Besides, you know how fast people move on on ravelry - the discussion is so far in other directions now! :thumbsup:

#10

Thanks for all your support. :aww: I’m pretty embarrased about the whole thing now, but at least I’m no longer a wimpering cry baby. I’m sorry for that.

I guess what bothered me, was the fact that they acted like I would choose to be uniformed, and blindly vote for a party, just because I didn’t agree with thier ideas. There was one election that I didn’t even vote in, because I had so much going on in my life, that I didn’t take the time to read, adn research both candidates. I know not voting isn’t good, but isn’t it better than voting when you don’t know what’s going on? But I didn’t write that, because, I no longer want to be a part of that discussion.
Anyway, it’s over now. I appreciate all of you. :hug:

#11

I read the thread after you mentioned it and I was expecting a lot worse. I’ve seen people pretty much attacked on all sides on there.
Tempers run high at Ravelry sometimes. There are people who are very opinionated and they’re entitled to it. It’s not fair when they attack and there’s no reason for it.
I’m sorry this happened to you. I personally try to stay out of the main boards and often only post in groups, which seem to have a little less drama. The political threads (along with relgious threads or anything in Big Issues Debate group) are dangerous to post it.

#12

I’m so sorry you feel this way and for your depression. I know too well how destructive depression is. However, as was mentioned previously, just walk away from it. I really have no respect for anyone who berates others on internet forums (or elsewhere for that matter). I believe people like that have problems and they think it’s ok to go off on another on an internet forum because of the level of anonymity. I truly believe anyone who attacks another in such a way is nothing more than a coward with a whole hell of a lot of their own problems. It’s one thing to disagree with someone, but a whole other thing to attack someone over their opinions and/or beliefs.

I once belonged to a forum that was for mom’s. Eventually it became a war between the stay at home moms and working moms. It was one of the most ridiculous things I had ever seen and it got to the point where everyone was attacking each other over the most stupid things. Eventually I just left. That’s not the kind of person I am nor the kind of people I wish to associate with. And, I really don’t care what other people think because truly, they don’t matter to me; I have all I need: a wonderful husband, 2 beautiful children, and a few close friends. That’s all I need.

I understand your frustration but try not to let it bother you. The people there, they don’t matter, the things they say about you don’t matter because you know who you are, and, the people who love you know who you are. Just walk away from it and let them continue on in their misery. :hug:

#13

I haven’t read everyone’s responses, so if I’m saying the same thing, forgive me.

One thing I have learned is that we are not perfect. When we get hurt, we tend to lash out as a means of self preservation.

Chalk this up as a learning experience and life lesson.

Then, forgive yourself for your part.

Then, forgive those who said the hurtful things. Yeah, I know. That part is hard. You’ll feel a weight lifted from your shoulders though.

And remember that most people are NOT like that.

I hope you feel better soon.

:hug:

#14

Always, ALWAYS avoid threads on religion or politics. They can never turn out well.

#15

Yes, exactly. Isn’t it unsettling how quick they are to critisize, without even knowing anything about you? They jump to conclusions, and think they know all about you, and they didn’t even read what you wrote? Did you know, they’re still making fun of me over there, because of what my husband wrote, even though I’ve repeatedly apologized.
I know, I know…I’m way too sensitive, but I never got that feeling here, even in the few political threads. Yes, we’ve had our disagreements, but nobody was bullied, or ridiculed. At least not that I could tell. At least I hope nobody ever felt bullied by anything I wrote, and if they have, please accept my heartfelt apology. I never want to make someone feel like this.

#16

Ack! I hate it when people don’t realize that other real people are on the other end on the computer. The internet just seems to be a way people can be “anonymously” crappy to each other.

Luckily I seem to only be in forums that are pretty nice on Ravelry. I stay away from any drama there, (and everywhere else in life, come to think of it) because I don’t like it.

Hang in there- and you can always leave the group. (after you click on “disagree” on every post that bugs you. Ha!)

#17

Months ago, I started reading a thread on Ravelry about MagKnits closing. It was post after post of bitter, angry woman saying hurtful things about the owner of MagKnits and about fellow posters. Someone that most of those people most likely didn’t know. Anyway, after that, I haven’t read any other posts except for small knitting related groups. I really only use Ravelry to took up patterns.

#18

There are also those who have come to your defense, as someone else said.
Don’t worry about being sensitive, I am also very sensitive and have suffered from depression.
Ravelry is like many online forums. There are a lot of really really nice people, and a few people who are jerks. I find that a lot of the time people are rude because they think it’s funny. I read over the posts that were rude to you and it sounds like people just want to get a rise out of you and cause drama. Or they want to fit in with the “cool kids”.
It’s much easier to attack someone online because you never actually see them or see the hurt you cause. People think the things they post don’t have reprecussions online and they’re wrong.
Here’s how I often think of people who attack others online: they are sometimes bored (hence the high post count) and often hurt themselves (in real life or online), so they take it out any way they can…usually by attacking someone who has made an innocent post.
I won’t say “don’t let it bug you” because it obviously does, but perhaps you should stop posting in that thread and put it on “ignore”?

#19

I agree completely with knitgal. The more you post in the thread, the more you draw attention to it. Put that thread on ignore and focus on things that really matters. :hug: A political thread on ravelry and a few members having nothing better to do than to insult people is really not that important.

#20

I know you’re right. I don’t know why I keep coming to it. I guess I’m trying to own up to my mistake, so I can hold onto what little credabilty I have, and maybe I won’t become the dork that nobody talks to. I’m afraid threads will come to a screaching halt when I post on them, because nobody wants me there.

This is so silly. I really need to go to bed. I know that sounds wierd at 8:30 in the morning, but insomnia is another of my many problems, and I haven’t slept yet.