When my family received a call from a young lady (my youngest son’s girlfriend) trying to escape an abusive home, we felt an obligation to provide assistance. We knew/suspected that this family had “issues” because of the extreme level of control they exercise over their daughter. (She cannot hold a job, go to school, drive a car, talk on the phone, have contact with anyone outside of her immediate family, etc. My son and she “sneak” to make contact with each other, whenever they can.)
We took her directly to the nearest police station and had her make a statement. The officer who took her statement told us not to let her go back to her home and asked if there was a friend she could stay with temporarily. A quick phone call to our state’s Department of Human Services authorized my daughter’s home as her safe house. Since my son still lives at home, we didn’t think having the two of them under the same roof would be approved. So, my daughter, who lives two blocks away and who’s husband is in law enforcement were the next best choice. We knew they would be approved immediately - they were. We also got a protective order against her father. As we suspected, the family was covering for some serious abuse. (Not to mention attempting to use Stockholm syndrome as a parenting tactic.)
Problem: her mother harassed our local police station and city attorney until my daughter and her husband were forced to put her into a group home or my son-in-law would lose his job. The mom did everything in her power to prevent her going to the group home, but after being interviewed by DHS she was deemed unfit for failure to protect, All of the mother’s suggestions of family members and friends were deemed unsuitable, there was nowhere else for her to go. The intake person at the group home also told my daughter that there is “no way” she should go back to her home. That the mother is absolutely delusional in thinking that the girl is making all this up. So, the girl was in the group home until her court date - which is tomorrow.
Problem: the mother harassed the group home people until they removed my daughter and her husband from the “OK to visit” list and changed the password on her daughter’s behalf so that we couldn’t call and check up on her.
Problem: the mother put a restraining order against my son for contributing to her delinquency (he’s just turned 18, she’s just about to turn 18 in a couple of months) sneaking her out a bedroom window (OK, I know that’s wrong, but what choice did they have,) calling her on the phone he bought and paid for her to have and they discovered and took away. She also claims he tried to rape/molest/beat/etc, her - which never happened and may actually be a cover for what is going on within her own home. His future and his reputation are now in serious jeopardy because he wanted to help this sweet girl.
Problem: tonight is the last day she can stay in the group home. Only a one week stay is allowed at a time because it’s intended to be temporary. The mom will be picking the girl up from the group home tonight and will refuse to allow her to appear in court tomorrow to make a statement to the judge regarding her father. She’s already told my son-in-law as much.
So, now we are in a quandary for what we can or cannot do, and what we should or should not do. UGH! I am so worried sick about this whole thing. We tried so hard to do the right thing for this girl but her delusional mother has turned this into such a nightmare for all of us.
This should have been something light & sweet for my son to look fondly on later in life as his first love. But these sick parents have forced this whole thing to go in such a “Romeo & Juliet” direction that there is no way now! They could actually be forcing these two kids to jump into a too-early marriage, marry the “wrong” people, etc. All because they couldn’t just let their daughter be a teenager for Chr*st sake!
Thank you!