I don’t know what the weather’s been like on your side of the Great Divide but over here, we’ve had the warmest April since records began, with the Met Office promising another sizzling summer … which got me thinking … of last summer and the howls of anguish (mine among them) caused by soggy stitches and damp hands.
Anyway, I’ve come up with what I hope will be a few remedies and preventables to stop your knittin’ from clingin’ and saggin’.
Before assembling your kit, it might be very useful karma to cultivate and maintain a deep and long-lasting friendship with your nearest non-knitting neighbour (I’ll say why in a minute.)
The Kit:
One fridge - cleared of all unnecessary clutter, (that includes food and drink – if you can’t knit it, chuck it.) Let it be known that the fridge is for needle and hand-cream storage ONLY.
Two knitting projects on the go at once.
Duplicate sets of knitting needles to the ones you’re using - Yes, I do realise what a great hardship and a huge chore and a bore it is to have to shop and buy extra needles and yarn but I’m sure you will all encourage each other in this endeavour!
If you use circs. – get a few zip lock bags and put your needles in those inside the fridge.
If you use straights – use those straight, plastic cases that your needles came in or wrap the needles in cling film.
You’ll need a couple of sponge hair curlers or corks (this is for those, like me, who knit under-the-arm with long needles) The hair curlers or corks prevent the ends of the needles digging into your ribs – usually they don’t cause a problem but wearing lighter, summer tops can result in a friction burn during a knit-in.
Bicarbonate of Soda
Bags of ice-cubes from the supermarket or make up your own
Skin care – buy a good quality hand-cream, use liberally and particularly on the side of your index finger if you knit Continental
If you plan on doing a lot of knitting in the garden:-
One or two collapsible net food covers to pop onto a garden table
A couple of face cloths or small hand towel to dry your hands if they keep getting clammy
Bug spray – if you’re of the red/brown haired, freckle-faced variety, then please don’t b*gger about – order it by the bucket-load because you’ll always be top of the mozzies’ dinner menu
Optional Extras: One wheelbarrow
A stout padlock with an even stouter chain
Kit Assembly:
Fridge clearance – take absolutely no notice of squawks of outrage and protest about your (allegedly) hogging the fridge.
People who want to use the fridge have all the rest of the year – you’re only declaring it a NO GO Zone for the summer.
The sworn summer enemies of any knitter are the M.O.M.s – Midnight Onion Munchers - weirdoes getting high on jelloe and the curry-cravers.
While you might get away with wrapping up a strawberry-scented sweater at Christmas (caused by overlooked jelloe left in the fridge!), I don’t think you’ll hack it giving curried clogs and eye-watering scarves. (Tut! People can be sooooo picky!)
If you are still plagued by culinary pests, then you need to take drastic action – first padlock the fridge and then get the stuff they insist on eating/drinking and put it in the wheelbarrow.
Take wheelbarrow to nearest non-knitting neighbour (long and lasting friendship, etc.?) tell them you’re stony broke, your fridge is on the blink and you’re too poor to have it fixed. Don’t waste time and energy dreaming up other fairy stories. If people think you’re broke, they will feel superior to you and therefore will bust a gut to help. You and your family can have the run of their fridge all summer. Sorted!
Always keep a small dish of bicarbonate of soda in your fridge, just in case someone goes insane from drinking warm beer, takes a chainsaw to the padlock and pops a pair of kippers next to your needles just to get you back. The bicarb will soak up any nasty niffs.
While you’re knitting and your hands get clammier and clammier – don’t persist with the knitting – it’ll only end up soggy. If the stitches are really wilting, pop your knitting under the food cover on a garden table and let it dry in a shady spot. The covers should keep off next door’s cat as well as passing bugs.
This is where the second project comes in – while the first is drying out, there’s no need to call a halt to the knits and purls, just go and get the cold needles from the fridge, after you’ve sunk your hands for a minute or two in the ice cube bags. If you’re seriously short of ice, fill the sink as high as you can with cold water and sink your hands and arms in it for 2 -3 minutes.
HAPPY SUMMER KNITTING!
Limey
