Ds is 5 and i just dont know what to do with him.
I’ve been a single parent living with my parents and older brother since he was born. He met new dp in july and adores him. to the point he cant wait for him to liove with us (our own place not with my parents etc).
ds has always had one hell of a temper to the point the health visitor commented on it when he was months old!!
last time i met up with dp i was covered in bruises, i had to lie to him and say they were from my horse doing it to me when the truth is its ds thats biting me hitting kicking punching me etc.
i spoke to my gp and all he says is send him to school and he’ll be fine. ds is perfect at the doc’s because he gets given a toy everytime he goes by the doc.
usually he’s ok when were out in english company, in french like the supermarket etc he’s a nightmare.
for the next month him and me are sharing a bedroom (we have been pretty much since he was a baby) as my bedroom isnt renovated yet, hopefully the next month it will be). he’s up at about 6am then dosent go to sleep until gone 11pm every night. no matter what i do/try this wont change. even the year he went to school it was as bad. i thought he’d be tired which he was but he fought sleep and was worse behaved.
im not sure if its the fact that i hate living with my parenst as we dont get on very well and there are a lot of rows between me and my dad and brother.
i think another factor is that my brother is very aggresive towards eveything and everyone. he hits things, kicks walls putting holes in them (thankfully dads a builder so they can be repmaired straight away) but ds sees this happeneing. my brother swears terribly, so now ds does as well. all i ever hear is for f*s sake and oh st. i hate swearing and hate the fact he does. i have spoken to my brother about it and it ends up in a huge row every time. i never back down as i know what hes doing infront of ds is wrong (its wrong not infront of him). i’ve spoken to my parents they have tried talking to him.
he also sees my dad has issues with his temper. if somethings bothered him he will cause a row between mum and me. never at my brother as he knows he would have a real go back.
dp is trying to get it so he can move here after christmas, im now scared he’ll see ds the way he is and walk away. he knows ds has issues and also knows some of the things that go on. i dont think i could ever tell him everything without him thinking less of me.
i just dont know how to help ds, right now i know i am being a bad parent but i just dont know what to do. i tried smacking him (gp advised me to try this as nothing else worked) other than making me cry everytime it did nothing. he would just say oh mum that was gentle, do it again harder next time.
he has my attention from the minute he gets up until he goes to bed and after he keeps running in to see me being naughty refusing to go to bed. i then get spat at when i make him go back to bed.
as my gp is being less than helpful i just dont know what to do. the stupid thing is he is a lovley little boy underneath all this. he is generous beyond belief. if he has chocolate (not ofetn as its sugar, he has a healthy diet and yoghurt for puddings rather than sugary rubbish, he has next to no fizzy drinks, best is very weak orange squash with no added sugar, usually water though tbh, so diet wise i dont know how i can change it) he willoffer anyone and everyone it before he eats it.
if someone phones he screams shouts and starts hitting me so he’s center of attention.he is so embarasing when he’s like taht and its say a work call.
when he was at school (for a year at the age of 3) he was made to do as he’s told by his teacher and rebelled a little when she wanted him to do something he didnt want to, other than that he made friends and and had fun. i plan to start him again after i move areas after christmas, but i have the mean time i just dont get any break and right now i cant cope with him. my mums in a wheel chair and wont help herself with anything, let alone help me with him.if she drops soemthing she will call me rather than get it herself (she is in a chair through her own choice NOT that she needs to be).
i just dont know what to do next, im now at my witts end. i think prehaps i just need a break from everything i dont know
sorry this is so long, and i dont even know why im posting this but i cant think straight right now because he’s been hell all morning. he woke up wonderfully asking me to go lay in bed with him saying i was his best friend and how much he loves me etc. its almost like a split personality thing