Snarky 3 y.o.'s, a ? for parents

#1

OK, like it says at the bottom of my post, our new grand daughter is here. She’s very cute, could have some major medical problems, but they’ll be taken care of.

My question is about our other DGD, the 3 y.o. She totally ignores the baby, or when flying by her will waggle her fingers in Natalie’s face. Every time my DIL picks Nat up, Kate goes into this Bart Simpson “look at me!” routine, bouncing all over everything, including people. I think her parents have done all the right things, asking folks to pay attention to her first, taking her out and leaving the baben with me, etc. Any suggestions, or is this something that will go away soon. Oh, she also refuses to help, like bringing a new diaper, etc. Not like her sweet little self at all.

Any and all help gladly listened to~~~

#2

She’ll straighten out- as long as everybody keeps being consistent with her. She’s really still in the adjustment stage with the new baby too & probably is jealous.

3 was way worse than two for me- they just are terrible at that age.

My current mantra (in my head, mostly thank goodness) is “I love you anyway!”

#3

I have a friend that went through this. They had a “Grace is now a big sister” party for her. I don’t know if that helped or she just finally adjusted to her new baby sister.

#4

I agree w/ everything…and here’s another mantra: “This too shall pass”. Seems like just when you think you cannot stand another second of a certain behavior or stage, they (thankfully) move on to another.

#5

My kids weren’t spaced like that but this sound normal to me. She is uncertain about her place in the family so she is acting out. She probably is jealous of the baby but a 3 y/o would be unable to express that. My son was 5 when my daughter arrived, she is adopted, and he was thrilled to pieces.

I hope what ever the medical issues are will be easily resolved.

#6

Hope the medical issues with the new baby are resolved and all is well !
As for your DGD I have to say first that I do not have children, but do work in a children’s hosp and see this all the time. It seems that unconciously parents will pay more attention to a child that has medical issues (and rightly so in most cases) so the 3y/o’s world as been turned upside down. I imagine she liked having everyones attention all to herself and now she not only has to share, but mom and dad are gone to doctor’s appts with the baby, worrying about the baby, and if she goes with them to appts she has to sit quietly while bored out of her gourd.
All that to say it sounds like normal behavior, keep offering to involve her and make her feel like a special big sister. When I have siblings that are acting out in my office I try to find them something to do that will “help” us accomplish our task.

#7

Thanks, everyone.

Tonight I asked her what she’d like to do tomorrow. “Go away from Natalie.” Alrighty then, that we’ll do. Probably take her to the carousel and the park.

#8

Sounds like a 3 year old to me. I’ve found behavior to be hugely affected by diet. the less processed stuff, dyes, HFCS, etc kids eat, the better their behavior. But 3 year olds are kind of a PITA regardless. But at least they’re cute.

#9

Completely normal. My suggestion would be two things- 1) make sure that mom and dad are spending some time with big sister one-on-one. I know that can be really hard, but even just a few minutes reading a story or doing a puzzle without being interrupted by the baby. I should clarify- I mean one parent or the other, not both. Someone has to watch the baby! :slight_smile:
2) During the times when big sister can’t have individual attention, be consistent with expectations and discipline. Include big sister as much as possible, but not always just with ‘get me a diaper’ kinds of things.

It’s rough, and it takes time, but it will come. :slight_smile:

#10

3 yos are at an interesting age - they can be whiny and demanding under the best of circumstances. It is perfectly normal for her to be jealous of the new baby. By the time the baby is old enough for her to play with, she’ll be over it (though they will fight off and on for years). It sounds like your DIL is doing the right things. You just have to give DGD time.

#11

We’re more than happy to be understanding of her little self, until she purposely wakes up her sister by jiggling the bassinett, and screaming in her face. Our little angel is REALLY jealous!

#12

Yeah, in that case you have to draw the line. It’s okay to be angry, it’s not okay to hurt or scream at the baby. Maybe now is a good time to teach her to do something else when she’s feeling angry… walk away, count to ten, go for a walk, go jump up and down…whatever. :teehee:

#13

Stubborn little thing that she is, she was told tonight to go to her room until she could be nice. She missed dinner! She didn’t even care, if it meant she had to be nice. Granpa went in, I went in, Mom went in, Dad snuck her some olives and tomatoes :teehee:

#14

Sounds like a she’s a Scorpio. :slight_smile:

#15

She may be only 3, but she’s old enough to understand that somethings aren’t acceptable. It’s hard though. Too bad Super Nanny can’t come and help!

#16

Yeah really… But she does have a really good book that you could probably check out at the library. I’m sure there is some advice in there on how to deal with a new baby in the family.

#17

When we took her to visit her sister tonight she finally got the idea that the little one is not right . . . and actually reached out to touch her head. Big improvement, made us feel good.