Should I Ask For a New Daycare Room For My Son? -UPDATE pg. 3

Something about all the comments bothers me. Why must a 2 or 3 year old be subjected to a school setting while they are still babies. MY daughters had their children in daycare but always stressed that they not be treated as students but be left to play with each other regardless of age. All these grandchildren are now grown up, in their teens and twenties and are doing just fine. Let them enjoy their childhood.

I work in daycare and I’m a preschool teacher. We all have those frustrating days where it seems like no one is listening, but under no circumstance should a child be grabbed by the arm and pulled down the hall. 25:1 seems like a very high ratio! The ratio here in NY is 8:1 and even then it can sometimes seem too high. I do hope that everything will work out for you and your son. Preschool is such a fun time!

It could be a phase. Sometimes children cry as they get a little older. They still cry in kindergarten, but I would def. check into it. There is no reason to grab a child’s arm when they are crying or upset. Where I teach, we do not touch the children!

I would def. check into it. Have a conversation with the supervisor or director, but I would ask other parents as well what their experience is, and I would drop in unnanounced to watch your child in the class. My daycare had windows and we could stand by them and watch without being seen. See what is going on during the day.

It def. isn’t a good sign if lots of the children seem to be in turmoil, but it is kind of common for children to get upset at that age. It is hard for them and they become more expressive at that age.

Bottom line though- you are right for being concerned b/c sometimes a mother’s intuition is the best indicator, and you know your child best.

Don’t make any knee jerk decisions though, look into it, but soon.

Just my two cents.
(I kind of had a similar experience.)

A preschool should not have three year olds and five year olds in the same room. Also, 25 doesn’t seem like that is in accordance with the state’s adult/child ratio. It can’t be. I agree that is way too many.

Are they NAEYC accredited?

I’m glad you are doing this! The teacher needs to be reported to the school & if I had witnessed it, would have been required by law to report her to CPS/DHS (as a professional nanny, I’m considered to be a mandatory reporter). No matter how chaotic the atmosphere or stressed out you are, physically dragging a crying child down the hallway is not okay & any adult who does this shouldn’t be providing childcare.

I know others feel 3, 4, & 5 year olds should be in different rooms, I however have a different perspective. With the right coaching (aka – right teachers), children of those ages successfully interact together in the classroom. Children learn through modeling, so who better to learn from but a peer. With the teachers guiding appropriate behavior, it works! It happens in many classrooms across the USA. This type of situation works very well for the older child, too, they learn how to positively interact with their peers and love to teach others new things. It doesn’t work if the teachers are not helping the children, though!

Praying this situation works out for your little one & for you.

As long as all 4 teachers (mentioned in a previous post) are in the classroom and the room is large enough to accommodate them all (I don’t have the measurements with me) NAEYC would still accredit them. State laws vary on the ratios for teachers to students and I don’t remember how many children Stacy said were in the classroom at drop-off. The care facility needs to be following those guidelines and might want to establish a 2 adults policy at drop-off – one to talk to parents/guardians & the other to monitor activities set out for the children. She said there are 25 children in the classroom with 4 teachers.

I have worked in classrooms with mixed ages and have witnessed happy, well adjusted children showing it can work. It all depends on the teachers/educarers & the facility.

oh i so agree, i think education in england/america is started far far to early. in france they dont start until there last year at pre school, just to get them used to the school type lessons. and then its more fun than work.

i know if i’d stayed in the uk it would have be a steiner school for ds rather than any other as they dont start until they are 6 (or is it 7, i can never remember) either way to me thatsthe right age to start. i kept ds at home as i wasnt sure about the amount of work he was being given (it was very very little, but i felt at 3 he shouldnt be doing any really. no letters reading etc, taht would come on its own, and it is now HE’S ready rather than the systems ready to taech him. I’m lucky though i can keep him at home and will home educate him if i dont feel te systems right for ‘propper’ school.

hope all went well with the depûty head and things are being sorted out. no child should go through that, pre school/school should be fun. its teachers like that that ruin it for children!!

I had a very nice meeting with the assistant director of the daycare yesterday. I told her how Alex had been very adamant about not wanting to go to school since he’s started in the preschool and of what I saw the teacher do yesterday. She said she would speak to the director who would then look at the video tape to see what happened. Luckily they just installed cameras there two weeks ago!!! She also said that they do in fact have a history with this child and the parents have given full permission to do what’s necessary. I told her that if everyone there is in agreement with this child, then that is between them, but I still didn’t agree with it, especially since it was done in front of other children and I, in no way, condone that type of action with my child.

She said she will also talk to the teacher and I think I will, too, now that I have both sides of the story. She also said she will let me know when a spot opens up in the other preschool room so I can then decide if I still want to ask for the move. She did tell me, though, that the room Alex is in right is much more structured than the other room. She said the teacher is much more lenient and kind of lets them do what they want. Knowing my son, he definitely needs the structure. He is a very, VERY active 3 year old and does need to be reeled in once in a while.

So, all in all, it was a good meeting and I can still switch rooms if I feel the need. I want to thank everyone who has posted advice or comments. It has been such a great help!! I am not one to speak up for myself, but when it comes to my child I’m not afraid to do so and you all encouraged me all the more.

Sounds like you’re accomplishing what you need! GOOD for you, MOM!

Thats great taht they have listened, and have a video tape of it, how useful is that. My ds is hyperacive and basicly very very hard to handle at home, under no cercomstances would i ever give a school teacher (or anyone for that matter) permission to do what they think is necessary, tahts just scary on th e parents side!!

Well doen for speaking out though. I know its hard but as you said when its your child you can do just about anything cant you.

you never know a complaint against her might just be enough to give her a kick up the backside to act better with the children.
Good on yout hough

I’m glad to see an update from you, Stacy!

It sounds like you got a lot of questions answered and that the school is responding in a positive way–both are excellent signs. :mrgreen: Do keep us posted on what happens and if you switch, okay? :hug:


Hmmm. . .I was just thinking in light of what you discovered, that if a teacher has some “behaviour issue” kids in the room, that can aslo stress a child out. It does make for a more structured room b/c of those children, and it can be an adjustment for the child to see the teacher being stern. So… maybe that is contributing to your child being sad. I know it is tough for everyone with those type of difficult children in the class.

I would still def. go and observe. See how the kids are interacting, see if there is a good community built among those kids in the classroom, and see how the teacher interacts with them.

I’m so glad that your meeting went well and I hope that Alex will adjust to his new room.
Like Rachael pointed out in the last post, one kid can stress the whole room out, I know that from first hand experience from last year’s class. My co-teacher and I tried our best to keep our moods positive for the other kids in the room so we weren’t taking our frustrations out on them. I admit, there were a few times when we had to pass him of to our director just to gain the peace back in the room. If I hadn’t had the co-teacher that I did, things would have been much worse. I’ve had not so great co-teacher’s in the past with a challenging group and it wasn’t a good situation for me or the children.
I don’t know what it’s like for Alex’s teacher, but I hope she has some good help in the classroom before she gets totally burned out.