Problem sewing up sweater

Have ruined yet another sweater only had to graft under arms with kitchener what a mess big stitches small stitches. On the other sleeve tried 3 needle bind off that looks puckered. Am going give it a cold water soak and then attempt sew up holes showing on sides of graft.
Could anyone recommend a really simple book that gives step by step instructions, am annoyed with myself ruining good wool 15 sweaters so far all with a bodged seams.

I bet these sweaters are well done and can be rescued by re-doing a few seams.
Three needle bind off works well at the underarm but you might try using a larger needle in the right hand to keep the bind off from being too tight. Even going up 2 needle sizes may be needed.
You’ve definitely put you finger on the tension problem with Kitchener graft. Getting even sts is something that comes with practice. Just paying more attention to each stitch may help. There usually aren’t that many sts at the underarm graft. You can also go back and redistribute the yarn by tightening up the loose sts and giving more yarn to the tight sts. A thin needle or a tapestry needle is good for this.
Maybe the “tug” here will help too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-jEGCUed0s

As far as closing up the inevitable holes either side of the join, a well placed duplicate stitch on either side may do the trick.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pc4EiYS17GQ

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Thanks Joan have ordered book this morning.

Had a complete meltdown last night had 1 more go tried cocoknits no gaps method, I cast off the St’s then did a false graft still messy but best I’ve done so far, will look at duplicate stitch method today.
Last night’s bodge up was the jinxed hoodie now a plain black polo neck today’s mess that has to be unravelled down to neck is the waheca also bodged 1 underarm tried russian graft that worked well on hood seam but a no no on underarm.
Will post pictures of the massacre that is the waheca when I’ve calmed down need a stiff drink but will settle for coffee!

Almost everything looks better after a cup of strong coffee. I’m sure these are all working out better than you think. You can do this!

Any perfectionists look away first pics of massacre coming up. Worst is to come when I show the mess under the ribbing. Am very proud of my icord but it’s not needed as back to trusty polo neck.
I was so proud of my 3rd attempt at socks until I managed to catch that thread at toe and couldn’t undo my stitches to release it.

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Sue, I was under the impression from your first post that there was some terrible mess of seaming going on, but I’m not seeing it in any of your pictures.
Am I missing something??

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This looks very neat to me and even QC is in agreement. Love the colors, too.
Nice grafting at the toe. If there’s a pulled strand, give it a rest and see if you can tease out the yarn tomorrow.

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Under ribing is massive ridge where I picked up stitches,hoodband I had to stretch to fit and haven’t shown the mess under arm where I attempted russian graft. The sewing on band is awful hood is massive more than half length sweater. And now I’m probably going make matters worse thought if I knit a couple more rows on underarm stitches and increase a couple I could somehow cover the gaps that would be at side! Honestly. if you saw it close up it’s a mess.

Thanks had to give up on sock I was just making more of a mess my eyes not good enough.

Oh I’m so sorry to hear you are unhappy with these.
To me it all looks good.
Isn’t there always a ridge when picking up on an edge?
The hood looks really great to me but I think you said this was being changed to a roll neck instead (or sorry if I mixed that up).
Socks I can’t comment on, don’t make them, can’t make them, just the thought of making them gives me a sweat. But yours look nice. I just can’t see where the problem is on it, sorry.

With the underarm (and various other bits and bobs) faux graft or duplicate stitch worked over a hole or a messy stitch can be a wonderful thing.

I mostly prefer to have bound off stitches (which may be due to my inexperience) to seam, using mattress stitch or faux graft, I just feel safer. If the seam doesn’t go well I can take it out easily and try again. That’s my preference up to now. Occassionally I get a seam, or a button band which has a hole where a stitch at the join has elongated, I see if I can redistribute the yarn to tighten it but if not I just put a duplicate stitch in to tighten a stitch or two, it evens up the whole area, not just the single stitch. Sometimes I do it on the wrong side which can also just help to secure and tighten.
I think these things are done quite a bit by knitters to be honest, and that not everything is as perfect as might appear at first glance.

I also find myself looking at bits of my shop bought sweaters and see misaligned cuffs, wonky sewing, thick seams, all sorts that I would often reject in my hand knitting and seek a better finish on… but looking at the shop bought sweaters reminds me that my knitting and seaming doesn’t have to be perfect. Millions wear shop bought items which have big flaws.

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Thanks I just want it to look tidy to me the underarms are glaringly obvious. Have ordered book Joan suggested and a book on finishing and had to get how to sew book as well have all the how 2 books just need them to work lol.
Underarms on waheca forgot I had to put stitches on holder so it’s 1 white 1 orange will do as you said cast off in orange then do false graft. Haven’t attempted duplicate stitch yet that’ll be today’s practice.
My dear mum bless her soul was a perfectionist, knitti g,sewing,Embroidery , tapestry always picked up stitches and finished off my work said I was too wild,like a bull in a China shop I can imagine her look of horror if she saw my work bless.

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Duplicate stitch is basically the same as faux graft, it just follows the path of the yarn that is there (in faux graft it’s that path that would have been there, it’s imagined as there and then created to look like it), so if you learn one you know both.

I’m sure your mum would be pleased you are knitting.

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Perfectionist mums tend to create daughters who think they’re doing worse than they are. (Ask me how I know!) I don’t see your “horrific mistakes”. And they’re mostly on the inside, so nobody else is going to see them either.

Small inconsistencies are the sign of a handcrafted item.

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I can do a real job of beating myself up. I struggle with finishing seams, etc. I know where I had the problem and I can’t seem to fix it, so I put it away in a drawer and go onto my next project. I leave it sit for a week or two and then pull it out of the drawer. By that time, I seem to have forgotten where the issue was and I see it with different eyes. It’s fine and I wonder why I got so bent out of shape over it.

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I’m convinced that my next sweater will be perfect I can’t wait to finish knitting and do a marvellous job. Nothing to it I say then I go pick up stitches or sew, I speed up, mind goes blank I panic and go at it full gallop and the rest is history I make a mess.

It can happen. For me, speed is over-rated. The point is to enjoy the process and at the end, wow, a sweater or hat or whatever.
Well if you run into a question or a puzzling direction or just want to comment, come right back here.

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Could I ask your advice? Should finish 2nd half of poncho in a couple of days,says join shoulder/sleeve seam, now my dastardly plan is to leave stitches on holder instead of casting off use 3 needle bind off save sewing, also to join the other side as well so all I have to do is pick up stitches and knit neck in the round. Is this plan going to work? Got to get it right this acrylic wool not as forgiving as alafoss not going to take a lot of unravelling! Lengths I’ll go to not to sew.

I often join shoulders with 3 needle bind off in place of a sewn seam. Is it straightforward front shoulder joined to back shoulder so that you’re joining approximately the same number of live sts for the bind off?

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It’s the james c brett jb555. Yes it’s 67 St’s each side I’m glad that’ll work. Will the picking up neck sts work if I’ve joined both shoulders though? The bit I’m dreading comes after, the side borders -picking up 192 St’s each side! I will not panic.