OT: When good boards go bad

#1

I am a member of a labrador retriever board - have been part of it for the past 4 years - have met people from it, had them to my house, been to theirs, knitted for their babies, sorrowed over the loss of a parent, rejoiced over every day life…but man oh man, it is just getting UGLY.

The board is large, very large - as a result, there have been several glitches in service. Everytime that happens, there are many on there who view it as a personal insult that THEIR board is down. HOW DARE THOSE EVIL ADMINISTRATORS! Its a conspiracy!

Also due to the size of the board, you have kids, senior citizens, rich, poor, multi-ethnic, you name it, all the things that make this world so wonderful. Lots of different viewpoints. But lately - you never know what will trigger it, but there is alot of hate and venom on the board. ALOT of it.

Certain people are known on the board for having tons of information about the topic - they are the go-to people. I personally have had excellent, and perhaps even life-saving (my dog, not me) advice from them over the years, and consider myself fortunate to have them as sounding boards. But lately - those very people are under attack. Several of them have left. Even their leaving (regardless of whether it was done quietly or with a farewell post) is subject to scrutiny or attack.

Over the past year I had begun to really limit my participation in the board - it just wasn’t a warm/fuzzy place any more. But now…I am not sure I want any part of it.

It just is very sad. I am so glad that I don’t see the seeds for this kind of behavior on this board. GROUP HUG!!!

#2

I know exactly what you mean! It’s really awful to have a select few run others off because these few have an issue with (me thinks) bitterness within themselves and enjoy projecting their bitterness onto others. I was (and still am, actually) a member of another forum and, for a while, it was fun…then the evil :evil: ones spewed their hatred and ugly back-biting remarks about. I check in from time to time, u know, to check on friends, but I can’t stand the overall ‘vibe’ there…and, it’s bc of a select ‘few’…it’s really a shame.
That’s why I love this board so much…we just don’t tolerate snipeyness (word?!) :smiley:

#3

:cheering: Yay, us!
Hug back atcha!

#4

I’ve also seen that happen on other boards too. I like that it isn’t here also. The community here is lovely. I hope we never have people like that here!

I don’t really know what the solution is, but good moderators are key in a lot of it I think. If there are good mods who are not worried about waving the time to cool out sticks it helps to keep a community in check.

When good communities grow hugely (because they are good and word of mouth has spread) it can be a struggle for the mods to keep up. You could move the core of the community elsewhere but the problem will re-arise when the rabble find it!

#5

I strongly agree with other’s opinions about how wonderful KH is. I used to belong to a history forum, and it seemed like very other post devolved into sniping, back-biting, name-calling and mud-slinging. I haven’t been to visit it about a year, but I bet the same thing is still happening.

:heart:

Love this place, love these people. I never would have learned to knit without Amy’s videos and the advice of more experienced knitters.

Yay for us!

#6

You know what? The members here get the credit for the kindness of this board. Since I’ve been a mod, my main job has been to eliminate duplicate posts and resize a few photos. On rare occasions, someone tries to sell something or make an inappropriate request.

I’ve been hanging around here (a lot :rofling: ) for a year now, and can honestly say that there was only one instance where someone got ugly, and I think home-made wine was involved :rollseyes: . That person apologized and has apparently moved on.

So this community of knitters and kind, friendly, helpful people can pat themselves on the back (set down the needles first, folks) for making this forum what it is. :heart: :heart:

#7

I co own a christian homeschooling board on the net. We are also like a big family there, though we’ve had odd ones come along over the years, trying to cause division. They never stick around long, fortunately.

I’ve looked around at different message boards over the years, and always ended up mostly hanging out at mine, due to the fighting I’d see going on at other boards. Knitting Helps is the first board, other than my homeschooling board, that I’ve felt comfortable enough to stick around, and felt that the people here are truly nice people. :heart:

#8

This is a really nice forum … I used to use the WeightWatchers UK website and sometimes it would be really nasty and they would even get ‘trolls’ - people logging in under a new name just to post nasty comments about someone else …

I can’t imagine that happening here … :thumbsup:

#9

Trying to imagine how a troll might try to agitate here…

Here are some ideas (I have been at work too long today and am getting silly):

IF U USE THAT ACRYILIC YARN YOU ARE POZZESSED OF 11 DEMONS AND ARE GOINT BURN UP.

(in response to someone’s much beloved and admired project) - “whoa dude i thought knitting was something anyone could learn but boy did you prove me wrong!”

(personal attacks) - Ingrid, I believe that you are telling that person the wrong way to fix that problem!

(personal attacks part 2) - Kelly - did you know that Chee-wow-wows are made of acrylic yarn and are possessed of 11 demons? (see original post above)

(personal attacks part 3) - Kitkat, that is the stupidest looking lab I have ever seen - and WHAT does he have to do with knitting, eh?

(response to a booga post) -PLEASE! GET OVER THE BOOGA! I hate the booga! Yours is ugly! Mine are way prettier!

Ahhhhhhhhhhh knitting trolls!

#10

:roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard:

#11

OH Kitkat, too funny!!! And what about the ones who use addis being superior??? We could prolly make up some pretty silly putdowns! I love it here. And at my other knitting group. Never a problem. Only support. Even for those of us who use acrylic yarn and knit with old non-addis. :roflhard: samm

#12

What about those of us that go both ways (use addis and others and acrylics and yummies)??? :?? :roflhard: :roflhard:

Countingsheep has knit with bamboo skewers before! We love everyone!

#13

Ya know I think about this kind of thing a lot. Where does the impulse to be mean to complete strangers come form? Like that guy on the bus that knocked you out of the way so he could get on first. Or that woman who cut in line at the grocery store. Or people who yell at cashiers. Ya know all that kind of behavior fits right in with flaming. Did they have a bad childhood? Are they not getting enough attention? Do they need love? (That’s what my son used to say when he was little. When he would act out I would flat out ask him "are you not getting enough attention? DO you need some love? and he would look at me for a second and come running into my arms. As he gre older and he would see other children on the playground acting mean he would turn to me and say “mum that child needs some love”) Children really are wise little beings arne’t they.?

#14

I don’t post often anymore, but I read almost everyday and love this community.

Kitkat your too funny.

#15

Huge hugs to everyone here! This is my favorite forum anywhere, and I’m in on a wide variety pretty often. Someone who’s better at words should come up with some witty saying about how knitting leads to peace leads to friendship…

#16

That story just made me get all sniffly here at my desk. What a lovely image to take with me for the rest of the day!
Thanks for sharing.

#17

I have wondered too, where do some people get off…whether it be internet or real world interactions - how can you just rip someone apart? Does that HONESTLY make you feel better? Or does it expose you for the sad sorry person that you really must be? I know the times in my life when I have said or done something rotten - and I have, we all have said things we regretted- I have KNOWN it and felt it and its just NOT a good feeling to have about yourself!

I really do think that we can all be proud of ourselves. We all applaud each other’s efforts - we support each other - we make this a fun positive place to be for everyone, new and experienced. We don’t need drama and controversy to make our day complete.

#18

That story just made me get all sniffly here at my desk. What a lovely image to take with me for the rest of the day!
Thanks for sharing.[/quote]

Me too. Warm fuzzies all over. :crying: Need to go hug my DH now… the kitty too!

#19

I have to say, I was off most boards for the last few years after disheartening experiences on forums devoted to quilting, carving wooden dolls and making houses from logs. At first I thought it was a girl thing (quilting and dolls – man oh man, you should have seen the flame wars), but the log board confirmed it is mostly just human nature, sadly.

I’ve just returned to find my “peeps” online, and all the knitting boards I hang about on have generally nice, considerate people, and even nicer, more considerate people who smooth things over if someone flies off the handle or gets snippy.

A nice crowd, those knitters! Is it because they perform repetitive, soothing motions with their hands for hours on end? Is it because they must have endless patience and be able to work through frustration? Is it because they must recognize that most knitting lore is passed on verbally and therefore one must behave kindly if one is to continue to learn?

So, is it knitters are nice people, or nice people are knitters? :thinking:

#20

Good question!