It’s hard to even know where to start.
There is a group of internet friends I have, and we’ve created our own little cyber community, it’s been in place for about 2 years now. In that time we’ve had quite a few people have babies (most of us are married), and it’s been a great ride going through their pregnancies with them through to the birth of the child and subsequent growing up.
Unfortunately one of the girls is having trouble conceiving, and has just started on some fertility drugs to assist. And I understand that this is hard on her and her husband, and we’ve all bee there as much as we can for her.
Much to my own joy, my husband & I have decided to start our own family. Neither of us have family ‘histories’ with pregnancy issues, so don’t see why it should take too long for us to conceive. This was our first month (I test this weekend). I always envisaged being able to share my joy and excitement, nervousness and probably occasional disappointments until we got that BFP (big fat positive). However… I find that I’m being asked not to get too excited within our ‘cyber space’ as the chat room keeps history, which is apparantly causing some distress to … let’s call her Mrs C.
I’ve been called insensitive, tactless and rude. As much as I’ve tried not to be too ‘in her face’ with it, other ‘members’ are telling me to reign it in. To my knowledge, I’m the only one who’s been asked to do this. Not even the woman who IS pregnant at the moment is being asked to not talk about her pregnancy… Only me who is in the early stages of TTC (trying to conceive).
I get that it would be hard for her, and I am truly sorry that her body isn’t picking up the ball, so to speak, but at the same time I feel like at a time where I should be able to be excited and happy, I’m being told that I’m insensitive because I think that I’ve had implantation pains or whatever. Not that I really know WHAT is going on with my body… but there are signs … y’know?
I’m too scared to say anything for fear of recrimination, but yet I feel that this is all going one way. How can I be excited for me, but not show it to anyone?
It’s really quite tearing me apart.