OT-Pet Rules

There are so many pet lovers on here that I thought you might get a smile of this email my sister sent me.

PET RULES…

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn’t help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat’s butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

  1. They live here. You don’t.
  2. If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That’s why they call it "fur"niture.)
  3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
  4. To you, it’s an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn’t speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

  1. Eat less
  2. Don’t ask for money all the time
    3 Are easier to train
  3. Normally come when called
  4. Never ask to drive the car
  5. Don’t hang out with drug-using friends
  6. Don’t smoke or drink
  7. Don’t have to buy the latest fashions
  8. Don’t want to wear your clothes
  9. Don’t need a gazillion dollars for college, and…
  10. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

This is cute. Gave me a few chuckles.

Except this line:

  1. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

That’s just not funny. :expressionless:

The rest is cute though. :thumbsup:

:roflhard:

Funny stuff!!

:roflhard: :rofling: That was hilarious! Reminded me of my 2 dogs and cat! :roflhard:

:roflhard:

  1. If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That’s why they call it "fur"niture.)

That’s how it should be! I don’t know how many times we had to discuss that with our family. :rollseyes:

:roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard:

LOL :rofling: :roflhard: too funny, I’m happy to know that I am not the only one with the bathroom problem! Sally and Moshi follow me around all the time, which is fine…but, a girl needs some privacy now and then…it’s not really time that’s allotted for head scratching :shock:

And, if you want to complain about my beds…don’t come over :thumbsup:

Funny!! We have a kingsize bed, and between my DH and boston terrier, Im lucky if I end up with a quarter of the bed! And trying to get her to move is like trying to move a mountain!

:roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard:

This is my favorite:

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required.

I want my cats to understand this, I really REALLY do! :rofling:

BRAVO :cheering: :cheering: :cheering:

That is priceless!!! Thanks for the laughs. And they are all true. We’ve been hunting for a king-size bed for a few months now because there is just no room for all of us!!

I agree. My cat Smokey can’t stand it if I go to the bathroom without him. So I usually just let him in or if I’m home alone, I’ll leave the door open. He’s such a brat.

What a howl!! :roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard:

:rofling: :rofling:
I love it!
Nikki

FUNNY FUNNY - I LOVE IT!!!

:roflhard:

:roflhard: :roflhard:

:roflhard: :rofling: :roflhard: :rofling: :roflhard: , on my, hang on while I get a hanky to wipe my eyes! I need this today. About the king sized bed, try sleeping in a twin sized bed with a 50+ lb basset hound! A basset hound(Sparky) who isn’t happy unless he’s being rubbed, and sleeping with his head on the pillow with yours! I can’t complain as I have always allowed my babies in my bed with me, and Sparky is now a senior citizen, in the doggy/human world anyhow. He’ll be 12 later this year.
Linda

This really is hilarious–I saw it a while back and it reminds me so much of my best friend’s two weimerainers (sp?). I have a minature weiner dog that fits quite a bit of that but the racing up and down the stairs and tripping stuff is exactly what her dogs do…and they really are minature horses so if they stop in front of you, there’s no stepping over them!

:heart: it!