OT-Bad time at work

Sometimes I wish we had a “waah” page for when we want to post all our :!!!: 's and :waah: 's.

I have been having such a hard time with my new job (been there just since August) and it seems that some days I am so up and then WHAM, by day’s end I am an emotional wreck.
I had worked in such a toxic unhappy environment that only got worse as the years rolled on in my last job that after 11 years I finally had the guts to feel worth enough to find another job. It’s been hard for me to learn new tricks because my last job was so mind numbing. I went into this one feeling like I would just put all the old habits and feelings behind me, be quiet and start out on a great foot. Because there is so much to learn, along with my horrible need to be perfect at my job that I get so stressed, emotional, and upset that I am a blubbering pile of tears at least once a week in my car on the way home or I crawl into bed and cry. I have made several friends but there are some that make me crazy for the cliques they have developed and when I vent to my friends about it, someone hears, and the next thing I know my team leader is telling me if I have issues I need to pop into her office and talk about it. Translation: don’t gossip. This actually just happened today and I am now in a horrible mood thinking that I am going to get fired or get poor job performance reviews, etc. when the people around me that act so superior get no talking to for being the way they are. I guess my problem is I vent and I cannot keep it to myself. They say tht you have to talk to your management if you have problems but it seems to me that I can’t just b!tch to my boss without soundling like a whiner, but the way I am getting this off my chest is not doing me any good. I can’t understand why I keep getting myself deeper and deeper into being perceived as such a sucky person, but I feel like it is all my fault and that I can’t take better control of my bad habits.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom? I am always told, “dont’ worry about it, get over it” but I feel like if this bothers me this much, is it really me or is everyone around me really this crappy? I’m sick of feeling like such a loser. It seems like all I get is “you need to… you should do…” and basically everyting negative and rarely anything positive. "you are too hard on yourself, you take too much crap from people, you try too hard, it’s not your job to…you make too big a deal out of things"
I don’t criticize or point out other people’s shortcomings because it’s not my place. I work in customer service on the phones, we are monitored and I figure if my work mates say or do something wrong, the quality folks will hear it and deal with it. but other people have no problem telling me if they feel I have said or done something i shouldn’t have. which i might add is usually a procedural mistake and not that I ever say or do anything offensive or inappropriate…
How do you boost your self esteem when you have somehow established yourself as a dork? Am I doomed to be labeled as a loser?

Thanks in advance to any brave soul who reads this diatribe and even more thanks if you chose to respond… :verysad:

:hug: I can give you a hug!!!

:notworthy: Thank you oh wise one!
Did you know on of the Mason-Dixon gals is knitting an “Ingrid” Sweater?

Is there any place I can get a look at it???

It better be made of something good! :!!!:

I get a total kick out of these two on their blog, they are neat writers.
She shows the sweater in progress, I think if you search the blog you may find a link to the pattern or perhaps what book it’s from…

Mason-Dixon Blog

I’ve found a sense of humor is the best defense against the crazies of the world. Don’t take life, work, or yourself so seriously. It’s all just one big cosmic joke anyway.

Don’t sweat the small stuff.

It’s all small stuff.

:hug: I’m sorry you are having such a hard time in work… and I think we all feel like a dork sometimes :teehee: the only thing I can say is what I do… I step back from situations and ask God to take control and lead me… if I’m to learn a lesson during this hectic and crazy time for him to show me the lesson fast so we can move on…

A few silly little one-liners to always keep in mind:

Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease
to be amused.

It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake
when you make it again.

Thanks guys!
I guess I feel that every day I walk into work saying I will just mind my own business and not care and keep my own doorstep clean and then in a matter of hours I have done something wrong and feel like such a failure.
I make friends easily, but I also know that you have to be careful how social you get with people. Some of us newbies have already joined up together and there are a few that almost immediately have become friends outside of work. That in itself is great, however when some hang out in bars after work or whatever and make like they are some sort of “in” crowd at work, it makes me feel like being in highschool. I like to think that I am mature because at the old job, if someone was fighting with someone outside of work they would take it out on them at work and I prided myself in not getting too involved with people outside of work so that things at work would be cool. I try not to snap at people and judge what they do for this very reason, and yet they think they can offer their opinions and I’m supposed to be all, “Oh thaannnkkk you for putting me in my place your worship!” There’s one person in particular that is the dept. commedian and all around Mr. Popular that apparently the girls all adore and he has to have the last word in everything. We had a training class today that we played a game in and it got kind of boisterous and he made a comment and someone "shushed’ him and he gets all,“don’t hush me” He chimes in when not wanted but god forbid anyone else do the same to him. I don’t tell people when they are wrong and I guess I deserve the same. So, then I go and complain to my friends, somebody overhears it and then I get MY butt kicked for it and he gets nothing. Why do I always get my hand caught in the cookie jar? :!!!:

Knitting Guy, one of my fave quotes from Dilber…
"Everyone is someone else’s weirdo…"
Ain’t that the truth! :teehee:

Office politics can be quite trying. I did that crap for more years than I care to recall, including being the “head honcho”.

That’s why I now drive a truck for a living. I got tired of that garbage.

Best advice? Keep yer yap shut, do your job, and be better at it than your boss. Avoid the office politics at all costs.

Do you feel bad that they’ve made friendships outside of work, or go out together? Maybe they think you don’t want to go with them? That’s happened to me. I felt excluded because people went out to lunch and such and didn’t specifically invite me. I guess my ‘reserved’ manner came of as not wanting to be part of the group. :shrug:

I agree with knitting guy.

Have you ever heard of Maxine? Well, I have one of the calandars with her little jokes all throughout. This one I had today in my purse says,[color=red] “I thought about getting a daily planner. But it seemed like a drag to write “Don’t get involoved” 365 times.” [/color]:roflhard: Oh…I love that one.

Very true indeed! :rofl:

Love it. :rofl:

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

I’m sorry that you are having a hard time at work. I knew that all too well. I don’t have any specific advice… people can be buttheads.

Hey! I resemble that remark!

Before you said you worked at a call center I thought maybe you worked with me :teehee: , all the cliques and stuff.

It’s taken me a while to get to the point where I don’ :wall: when some people are getting all highschooley. I definately know what your saying, I’m a perfectionist and want to do everything right the first time. Because I alway say to myself “I can totally do that, it’s not impossible to do everything right the first time”. But then I remember a quote a teacher wrote on the board in highschool, “If anyone tells you nothing is impossible, tell them to dribble a football” (think about it) :teehee:

Do you have someone at home you can vent to? Or a friend you can go outside and call on a break? I don’t vent to people at work about people at work, because even though I have some who are dear friends, I don’t know who will hear or sometimes things just slip and your friend doesn’t want you to get in trouble but they mistakenly repeat something.

Remember that while yes you have to be somewhat happy at work to be happy at home, work is and always will be work. Home after all is where the heart is. Hokey I know.

It’s always hard coming into a new situation/work/school, whatever, and trying to learn the lay of the land. Every job has it’s own politics and problems. Sounds like you’re more upset about the social stuff, becuase, if your supervisor thought you were doing you job incorrectly she would have said so. Basically, I don’t think she was ‘busting your butt’ but she was trying to give you a suggestion to save you aggravation later on.

I hope it gets better, and remember work=work, home= :heart: , and KH=sympathetic ears.

I can’t beleive I’m going to share this but here goes. I work as a 911 operator, I’ve been doing it since 1994 and I’m very stressed. It’s hard enough to deal with the bad calls but right now we have a lot of turmoil in management. I decided to put myself on a mental health vacation because I recognized how much it was effecting me. So, I’m home, I’m knititng and I’m all happy again. I think we all know how stressful work can get. Don’t let it get you down too much.

I’m all for finding the funny parts of life. Trust me, there are plenty of things to laugh at. :rofl:

OOO, Pink, I couldn’t imagine how stressful your job would be!!! :pout: I have been in a customer service type job for so long I almost don’t know anything else. I think I am jealous of the “kids” that have cliqued but I don’t really want to go bar hopping with them. I’m over that part of my life. But what bugs the tar outa me is how people in one group sort of treat those not in their group differently. One guy just seems to really be the center of attention and a couple of the girls practically fall over themselves in his presence. one day things were a little more relaxed and one of them felt if appropriate to hop his lap. while dirty jokes or slight off color behavior doesn’t bother me, there is a time and a place and this borders on potential less appropriate behavior. and yet i get a finger wagged at me for being overheard venting about being angry at how someone is behaving. I get stressed out when i bite my tongue and can’t verbally retaliate when this coworker thinks it’s fine to say “jodie, you give people too much info.” when this person doesn’t realize that what I told a customer was totally correct. he has a superior attitude and apparently it doesn’t dawn on him that i may just know something he doesn’t. this eats away at my assertiveness and people think i’m a big wimp. i’m really not if you push me,but i have also been cursed by my father’s belief in perfection and also his view that you don’t cause a scene and you do what you are told even if you don’t agree. combine that with my mother’s strong will to not shut up and i can’t believe i don’t have an ulcer! :grrr:
customers more than occasionally tell me that i am nice and helpful and so on, so that makes me feel great, especially when i feel like i am talking out my @ss half the time.
I have made several friends and i certainly think it’s great when people can become friends outside of work too. but when that friendship causes you to be perceived as treating others differently or possibly cause you to retaliate at work if you don’t get along in personal life (this actually would happen in my old job), it makes it a sucky place to work. at my old job, we would get together for drinks or whatever after work. one of the gals who was married with kids still was sort of the afterhours party type. she would get smashed, dance like a stripper, but then would get pissed if anyone would bring up how silly she acted. she sometimes simply didn’t remember what she did due to the booze, but then she also had a hypocritic attitude anyway. i chose to limit this social interactions and they knew it was for my own sanity. one gal would cry to me constantly about her money problems and how she filed bancruptsy but would run to by a new shirt on her lunch break because someone pointed out that she had a spot on her shirt or would parade her new car or whatever. again, i am not going to judge someone with money problems, but i can’t deal with both sides of someone’s issue. we spend 8 hours or more with these people so it really affects us more than our home lives, which is sad. i vent to my mom, but she thinks she needs to solve the problem and really gets too “Dr. Phil” about it and my poor husband is going to go mad listening to me. sometimes i get so wound up about it that i dream about work or wake up thinking about it.
sometimes i feel like all this goes on around me and i have to accept it but that no one cares what i’m about.
i do love that i can come here and just spew and blather abou it all… folks here are the best!
office politics are the worst, but i do maintain that i can handle working WITH idiots, but it’s worse to work FOR idiots. god, i need to get on some meds, i worry way to much. i tried it before but i don’t want to again cuz that messes with other parts of life if you all know what i mean and i don’t need that for dang sure…
well, back to our regular scheduled programming.
Anyone who wants to vent about their work woes please do so so i am not hogging the whiner rag chewing soap box