OK I have to say something

Some of my college peers find it strange that I knit because knitting is so feminine… I guess I don’t fit their picture of what feminine is. Though when asked, they have a hard time defining what they mean by feminine.

Baseball is just as feminine as knitting. As long as a woman does it, it’s feminine. If you look in history, the majority of knitters have been men, not women.

I’m glad you celebrate your differences instead of hiding them from others, and I feel sorry for the snobs at your LYS. Their lives must be SO boring!!!

Just wanted to say that ALL people at some point in their lives feel that “exclusion” you’re speaking of. Even if you “appear” to fit into what society considers “normal”, it’s quite human to feel “excluded” at some point. I bet if you talked to that WASP woman, she’d also express times when she felt “excluded” in her life. I think it’s just human to feel it…how you respond to it is entirely up to you as a person. That being said, it can be easier said than done when we really just want to “fit in”. Some of these issues brought up in this post are no different from what exists out there in “society” for clothing designers, etc. etc.

I’m happy to know that knitting can be individualistic and creative and if someone “excludes” you, it’s their insecurity that is raising its head. I say, knit on, express yourself, focus on the creative nature of knitting and forget about what others think of you. Looking for external verification never comes…find it within yourself…focus on what knitting does for you as an individual and forget the rest. You can never find that external validation.

Anyways, my 2 cents…LOL Keep knitting and expressing yourself! In the end, it’s the creativity of knitting that binds us all and the rest is irrelevant. When we look at a knitted article, do you focus on WHO knitted it or do you look at it and say “wow, how creative, that’s so beautiful”??

I certainly apreciate the affirmations expressed here (that sounds sarcastic when I read it, and it’s not… totally sincere I swear). I’ve never had an issue with other’s opinions of my so-called differences that lasted for more than a moment; I think I’m way too cool to let other’s opinions bother me for long :slight_smile:

As you say, we all have moments of exclusion and externally-inspired self-doubt. That’s why I think its important to talk about it, and share our individual experiences - not only do we all remember that we’re not alone but we also get to learn about others and ourselves when we share. (God, I feel like a high-school counselor when I write something like that!)

FeministMama’s post brought issues of diversity to mind that I’d never thought of before, and am now glad to be aware of. Her thoughts and experiences, as well as those of the others that responded, have opened a window into looking at my knitting world in a whole different light. I’ve gone back and looked at my pattern books and apreciate the ones that show diversity. My world view has been expanded (Keanu Reeves Voice “Whoa, dude!”)

Again, I’m lovin’ the support, new ideas, and freedom of expression of a welcoming board like this!

(As a side note, I’ve always compared my standards of self-expression to that of pop culture just to see where I’m at - it’s a fun excersise for me. And if dykie, artistic, butch girls become in style, then I’ll be a trend setter, tee hee!)

yellowness, I only wish I had a high school counselor like you! Ha ha. I was told to get out of the drama & art courses and learn typing, they figured from my family I wouldn’t be in in college for long. As it turns out, typing money took me round the world, to London where I worked in theaters and then New York where I became an actress.
(now I’m a writer so the typing did come in handy)

I was in my local fancy gym yesterday morning and had an overwhelming feeling of always being alone. In New York, at the clubs, you do not make friends, the women are too busy. It’s really depressing. They’d rather talk on their cell phones naked, next to you, then say hello. This knitting board and TKGA also has been such an up for me and I appreciate reading yours and others thoughts here.

all for now, Vic (P.S. I’m Polish-American also… my mum used to wonder why I preferred to dress like Marlon Brando…rolled up tee shirt sleeves and big boots… than the feminine thing.)

I can’t speak to the race issue, but I know that almost always, when I leave a LYS, I feel like I “wasn’t good enough” for them. I can’t put my finger on it. It’s almost like that junior high school feeling of not fitting in with the popular crowd or something.

On the other hand, there is a LYS, that isn’t really local for me, but I go there on vacation, in Boulder Junction, WI. The woman who runs it is so kind and helpful. So, I know that there are good ones out there. I guess I just assume that people who knit are nice and friendly, but it’s not always the case.

Kimmie, WHY is that? I have felt that way too, exactly, when it comes to many yarn stores I venture into. There’s one a few blocks from me that I actually have to steel myself up to go in and look at the yarns. Once in a while there’s a friendly salesperson but the owners are like, way above you. I tried a new ys the other day, down in the village… the two women working there would not look up, would not say hello and I walked around for quite some time. It was like I was invading their home. Well, I try not to judge as much as possible but…

About the assuming knitters will be friendly, a few weeks ago there was a woman knitting at a laundromat I went into. I commented on her knitting, asked what she was making… she looked up at me like I was going to rob her, barely could get the answers out, was so hostile I finally said ok, bye and got out of her face. Wow! Excuuuuuse me.

 hm hm hm hm hm

I had a similar experience at the pool. A lady was crocheting while awaiting the end of her daughter’s swimming lesson. I walked up (smiling, mind you) and asked what she was making. “A baby blanket,” she said with such ugliness in her voice!! :shock: I was like … “Damn b!$<h, what’s your problem!” :evil: Of course, I was feeling particularly nice that day, so I didn’t say that out loud. :wink: She wasn’t a knitter, but a fellow yarn worker still!! She was the only crocheter that I’d met at the time, so my opinion of “them” did not start off on a swell note :wink: But, like you, I try my best not to judge … :slight_smile:

okay, ladies here’s some advice from me, or someone who doesn’t know any better (be sure to put your drink now).

First, look extremely busy or in a rush. On your way past the knitter, make a comment in a very hurriedly voice, “Oh what a beautiful “whatever”, I would just LOVE to be able to knit something like that. Well happy knitting!”

Start to walk away.

Two things will want to happen by this point.

  1. “Most” knitters are modest, so they’ll start to say, "Aww, it’s only a “whatever” or something like that…

  2. Whenever you’re in a rush and make a point to stop and notice something, people want to take advantage of that moment.

If they’re a knitting snob and don’t want to talk, well who cares, you don’t have the time to chat anyway. If they are chatty, well then, maybe you could spare a couple minutes. Afterall, who doesn’t love to chat about their knitting projects :wink:

FM, I found that website I have a pattern link to. It’s [urlhttp://kerriesplace.co.uk/]here. I can’t tell for sure if the woman is black (didn’t see a picture of her), but her daughter looks bi-racial.


I’m a knitter & I’m from Puerto Rico & I do stand out living in Vermont but it has never bothered me…My aunts are seamstress but somehow I picked up knitting back in 98 maybe bc I didn’t like the cold & the easiest & less expensive way would be to knit something for myself & family
My first hand at knitting I tried black yarn & moved up to bright reds & oranges
Hildy Happy knitter in VT :smiley:

Hi. Hi Hildy Happy in Vermont!

Amy, I just had to say, what a CRAZY website… Kerrie’s Place.
I’ve just blown 45 minutes reading about hamsters, Finnish bags,
Christo, france, train ride to Pennsylvania… the Manolo.
Yikes. I haven’t eaten breakfast, am starving, and get addicted to this site…

This lactose-intolerant, transgendered, one-armed communist couldn’t agree more. Despite the many obvious and unspoken reasons for me to be excluded, I never feel more connected to the fabric of community than when I’m expressing myself creatively.

Heh, heh, heh… I’m wondering if your nick Flappy is related to the one-armed bit. Please understand I’m not poking fun :slight_smile:

You sound like my dad, only I’m not sure if she’s lactose intolerant and last I saw she had two arms.