Need some advice-new update pg 3

Okay all this is going to sound way weird, but here goes

I recently started my new teaching position in the public schools in my area. I became reacquainted (in a professional manner) with a former colleague at this new school. Very nice person, very smart. He always spoke to me whenever he saw me and was always pleasant.

I don’t know what I did to him, but this week he barely acknowledged me. I think I may have given him a weird look one day this week by accident, but in my defense I was so deep in thought, I didn’t realize he was there. In addition this week has been very stressful at my job because the state department of education was there doing major evaluations at my school. He sits on several committees and is also in charge of a particular department at my school.

I don’t know why this is bothering me so, but it is. I’m a little hesitant to pull him to the side and speak to him because he has his PhD is psychology so I’m afraid he will be analyzing my every word. We aren’t best friends, but it was nice being able to have some connection to someone at the school because I’m still basically a newbie.

If anyone could offer me some advice I would greatly appreciate it.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

Go about business as usual and if the opportunity for a friendly conversation arises take advantage of it. Could be he just has a lot on his mind, or not, but engaging in a conversation would be the best way of finding out.

Just be yourself and see what happens.

I would just try with honesty. Ask him if you offended him in any way and explain your preoccupation this week. Chances are good that he’s also preoccupied with the evals and his work on the committees.

Honesty always works best, in my opinion. Don’t worry about any analysis he might do on you. You can’t control that.

I only can go off stories my parents (both teachers) say…but it seems teachers are just as bad with “clicks” as the students they teach. I say, keep on keeping on and you guys will be having your “chat” moments here and there soon.

Thanks guys…

If I see him tomorrow I’ll try to speak to him about what’s been going on this week. If not, I’ll wait until Monday. I hope that I didn’t sound like a silly high school girl with my little rant but the whole thing just seems so out of character for him.

I would just try to smile and be friendly and maybe casually ask, “anything bothering you lately? you seem distant, just wanted to make sure everything is ok”. Maybe something is wrong and you’re misinterpreting it. Perhaps it has nothing to do with you.
I don’t think you should worry about the whole PhD thing though. I’m sure that he wouldn’t be analysing your every word.
Just be yourself and don’t worry!

I think he’s probably just busy this time of year, especially with the evaluations.

Just be yourself, and go about your work as usual. He’ll probably be back to normal after all that stuff is over.

Maybe he didn’t want to seem to “chummy” with any of the teachers while the evaluations were taking place??

Honestly, from a guy’s perspective, don’t push it. Guys do not like to feel pressured or cornered, especially about any sort of emotional or relationship kind of stuff, even casual relationship stuff. Wait until a natural conversation opportunity comes up.

Mason, that’s so true. I’ve seen that many times with my male friends over the years.

Thanks for all of the advice!
You are definitely right Mason. I thought about that on my way in this morning. I actually envisioned him getting all machismo on me (despite the fact that he’s gay). I saw him in passing today speaking to the VP of the school. I did say good morning but they were engaged in conversation so I don’t think anyone of them heard me.

I’ll just let it go. I mean this week has been stressful for all of us and I have been receiving bad news all week. Soooo this is just a drop in the bucket. I’ll remain as friendly as possible and continue to do my thing. I can’t control how anyone else feels, I can only control how I feel, so we shall see as time passes.

Good plan. :thumbsup:

Gay or straight, he’s still a guy and for the most part we’re pretty much wired the same when it comes to the whole talking thing.

I can’t control how anyone else feels, I can only control how I feel

Bingo! You can’t really control how you feel, but you can control how you choose to react. You have no control over how that other person reacts. That’s the secret to happiness that most people never figure out.

Thanks again Mason for providing me with a male’s perspective :hug: :hug: . Everything you said is true. So as I said, I’ll just let it go. I don’t want to make things any weirder or make the situation worse than it actually is.

Mason and Shandeh are RIGHT ON! Listen to them and stop worrying. Don’t make such a big deal over it.

If he has a phd in psychology he should be educated enough to know people can be deep in thought. AND too for him to not take things personally. Too like Mason said, he could be deep in thought himself about the professionals coming to the school. Who knows how nervous he might have been.


Uhhm, okay. :shrug:
I wasn’t necessarily making a big deal out of it. I posted my situation here because I thought perhaps I was reading what happened incorrectly and maybe someone could help me just rethink the whole thing W/O making a big deal out of it. As I mentioned in the first post I was under a great deal of stress (from receiving several days worth of disturbing news) as were my coworkers and everyones nerves were on edge.

I hope things are better for you now.
When will the evaluations be over?


Sounds like maybe he has a burr under his saddle about something. If I were you I would just continue to be your normal self and not react to his problem. See what happens.

That said, me not being in the same sort of work environment as yourself, I would simply grab my co-worker by the collar and ask him wtf is his problem.

But that’s just me.