I think you pretty much answered your own question. You’re anxious and nervous when you knit but relaxed when you crochet because you know how to fix a mistake with crocheting.
You’re not lacking relaxation skills, just the confidence of knowing that you can handle misstitches when knitting.
Become familar with the nature of knitting, with how a stitch, a row, a patch of knitting is created and how each stitch is connected to the next.
Become comfortable with accidents and mishaps. They are a part of knitting. If you’re worried about particular issues like missed stitches or messing up your stitch pattern, maybe use stitch markers to mark each pattern repeat so it’s easier to see where the mistake is. And realize that most knitting mistakes are easily (maybe not quickly) resolved. Also learn to accept that it doesn’t have to be perfect. Learn how to fix mistakes. The sooner you figure out how to fix a stitch that has laddered or a knit stitch that out to be a purl 2 rows below or a miscrossed cable, the better.
Learn, experiment, push the boundaries, play the game of “what happens when I do this?” and learn from the results. Once you start realizing that you can deal with knitting mishaps, you’ll start relaxing because you accept that you can deal with whatever comes your way. Confidence doens’t come from always doing perfectly but from know that you handle things when they’re not so perfect.
As someone who also likes to cook beyond the recipe, I see this approach as a form of improvisation. In order to improvise well, you have to know your tool and your medium very well to be able to mix it up:wink:
It sounds like once you become more comfortable with knitting as you have with cooking, we’ll be hearing from you how you’re designing some cool, innovative patterns:mrgreen: