Knitters and compassion

Lounge
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This is such a complex issue for me. I really appreciate hearing all these diverse viewpoints and it has brought me to think twice about my own level of compassion. I have realized that the job I currently do has numbed me to some of these things. I have been hardened to some people because of the deception, callousness and disregard I see in some of these populations. I realize that I have begun painting certain people with a broad brush and that is so wrong.

Thank you for all your words… it will make me think twice before I make these kinds of judgements… I know that one small thing can put me in that very same situation…

I think your paper would be compelling, feministmama, and I hope you do write on this subject.

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I’m a liberal AND a Christian. The two are NOT mutually exclusive. I was raised Episcopalian, go to a Catholic university, and have spent time in church with Baptist and Methodist friends. I try to donate my money AND time to worthy causes that I feel will make a difference. I have helped spay and neuter the horde of feral cats under my friend’s house, donated to women’s shelters and homeless shelters, spent time working with needy and abused children, worked for dog and horse rescue programs, and built homes for Habitat for Humanity. I try to put my money and effort into areas where I feel it will do the most good.

As a Christian, I believe in the tenant, “Judge not lest ye be judged.” I may not agree with all the beliefs of born-again Christians, but I respect them and their beliefs just like I do anyone else, and I certainly don’t judge their beliefs or path to God anymore than I would judge someone who is Baptist, Jewish, or anything else. I don’t judge born-agains Christians, or Conservatives, nor do I believe that they all believe or do the same things or act in the same ways. I don’t believe in the validity of stereotypes. Not all Muslims are terrorists. Not all liberals are whiny snobs who talk about change but do nothing to effect it. Not all conservatives are heartless, big-business-loving warmongers. Just to name a few common, and innacurate, stereotypes.

I have compassion for born-again Christians the same as I have compassion for anyone else, even, to an extent, those who are intolerant or angry. I have compassion for the compassion they don’t feel for their fellow man. Now, I’m NOT saying that anyone here is painted with that brush, I DO NOT mean or feel that, but I have met some people who are filled with anger at anyone who doesn’t believe what they do. It makes me sad.

Yes, I would prefer to teach someone to fish rather than feed them, which is why I regularly donate to Kiva,a non-profit organization that provides micro-credit loans to small business owners all over the world to help people start businesses and get on their feet. But many homeless people CAN’T get on their feet, no matter what kind of job-help they receive because of severe mental illness or other disability. I don’t feel that it degrades them if I give them food or a dollar or two so they can eat and survive.

Now, I’m not going to give to someone who is clearly on meth or heroin or crack or using the money to sniff glue, but there are plenty of homeless people out there who are legitimately in need and legitimately unable to hold a job. I feel for them that they have no one else to take care of them and are crippled by mental illness, just the same as I would for ANYONE else, homeless, Christian, Muslim, rich, black, white, etc.

I’ve been very blessed. I am lucky enough to live a comfortable life, without serious mental or physical illness, with a family and friends who love and care for me, and who would support me if anything were to happen to me. Not everyone is that lucky. That’s why I try to do what I can for those I can, be they human or animal. I want to share what I have been blessed with with as many as I can.

Two things I try to keep in mind:

“Judge not lest ye be judged.” --Matthew 7:1
"A society will be judged on the basis of how it treats its weakest members." --Pope John Paul II, and a sentiment echoed by Mahatma Gandhi, Winston Churchill, and Harry Truman, among others

Just my two cents.

23

Femmy, I echo your sentiments exactly. I knew I liked you for a reason. :muah:

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One theory of the phrase ‘bleeding heart liberal’ is that it is based on the depiction of Christ on the cross - Jesus being somewhat liberal himself.

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So, without judging, how do you decide if someone is going to use the money you give, to sniff glue?:stuck_out_tongue:

26

Somewhat, but not entirely. Jesus is the One Who said:
If a man does not work, he should not eat.

If a man doesn’t provide for his family, he is worse than an infidel.

what does God say to us? He says, “Even if a mother could forget her child, I will not forget you. I have carved you in the palm of My hand.” We are carved in the palm of His hand - that unborn child has been carved in the hand of God from conception, and is called by God to love and to be loved, not only now in this life, but forever. God can never forget us. (quoted from a website)

God said, Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.
That would make abortion, basically, idolatry. Choosing your own
purpose and wants in life, above that of the child you made.
So, Jesus is not as liberal as some would like to make Him out to be.

Now, that’s all I’m going to say for now, about this.
If you want to discuss what the bible really says, please private message me, or post a question here. Glad to discuss it. I will use scripture to back up what the truth is. To ME, the only truth is the Word of God. I know that makes a lot of you upset, but, I am expressing my beliefs. I’m hoping there is freedom of expression in here. Still.
Subjective truth is what some try to make the bible out to be, but, in reality, the bible is objective truth.
Truth offends many.
I wish I knew why.

I care about each of you.

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i think this is going to be a fabulous paper and i hope you post it when its done. I would really like to read it. my take on compassion is simple. treat others as how i would like to be treated. people are of all different walks of life and i know i can’t understand it all so i can’t judge. but i try to give when i can and if i can give a little money or charity knitting, or whatever the cause may be then I do.

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If someone comes up to me with glue residue around his nose, or shaking and scratching at track marks, then it’s really not much of a “judgement,” now is it? It’s pretty obvious.

I think I had some actual, valid responses to some of your statements and find it unfortunate that you chose to ignore them.

Also, if I WERE a judgmental person, I might think that thinking you are the only one with all the answers to what God wants is an example of pride.

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Ann… lets try not to offend anyone by judging them prideful… this is supposed to be a friendly knitting post… let’s all try to keep it that way…

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God made the drug addicts, too. They deserve compassion–it’s a lot more helpful to them than hatred and intolerance. They are someone’s child, and are surely in a place they don’t want to be with a long, long way to climb out–sometimes too far.

Whether you give them money or not is up to you (or me), but there is a person down there.

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You can’t. Sometimes you just have to have faith. Blind faith. Faith that you are doing the right thing. Faith that the recipient will do the right thing with the gift you have given. Faith that you have given someone in need a blessing and maybe, just maybe, a hand up. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Do we forsake all for the poor actions of a few?

Of course it’s easier to criticize and judge others. It’s easier to ignore the plight of the poor, homeless and needy by convincing yourself that they’ll just throw your offering down the toilet by using it for alcohol, tobacco and drugs.

A generation much younger that mine frequently asks, “What would Jesus do?” While I certainly don’t think I qualify as a great Christian, or even a mediocre one, I kind of think He would offer His assistance and hope for the best. Ultimately, I believe a gift with no strings, one of unconditional love, makes a difference. Sort of like reaching out to save the one lost lamb.

I suppose my attitude qualifies me as a bleeding heart liberal. Well, frankly, it’s a label I’m not ashamed of. I wear it as a badge of honor. I will never be rich, or famous, or popular. But I won’t turn my back on someone in need because they may or may not fall in the wrong category.

BTW Femmy, there are so many compassionate knitters on this board, it makes me ashamed. They’re knitting for so many worthwhile charities from animal shelters, to premies, chemo patients, adult foster children. The list is endless. I only wish I could knit faster. There are many good people on these boards. They make you want to try harder.

Gladys

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We are called to love one another, not to judge. That job belongs to One person, and it’s not any of us.

However, it can be hard because we all have preconceived notions about others. It really is inevitable. You look at someone, you form an impression. But I think that if you catch yourself making that judgment call – well then, you’ve grown (perhaps you’ve grown more compassionate or empathetic in the process).

:hug:

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I may be confused as to what this post is all about… I came in late, so I tried to reread it all, but it seems to refer to another post…It seems that everyone is trying to prove that they are the most compassionate because they think this or do that…
I really doubt there is anyone here (or elsewhere) that does not have compassion for another human being going through tough times.we all have different ideas how to “help”…to suggest that others don’t care because they don’t help in the way YOU want them to doesn’t make sense to me…anyone can SAY they are compassionate… to advertise works of charity you have done seems weird to me… …there seems to be more going on here… am I missing something???

34

I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to be snarky. I think it frustrated me that I put a lot of thought into my post and was hoping for an equally considered and open response. I apologize for coming off like that.

And Pat, the thread is really not about proving how charitable we are. My response, at least, was based on the idea that compassion involves doing what you can for others, human or animal, and that if you try to help, it can make a difference to someone’s life. Homeless people are PEOPLE, and shouldn’t all be lumped in as “those people” or lazy or con artists or drug addicts or whatever. And, I guess, that the concept of Christian charity exists across all belief structures and political ideologies, and is not limited to only “bleeding heat liberals” or whomever else.

I guess the thread has gotten a bit convoluted and gone in a different direction, but that was, at least, the point I was trying to make. auburnchick said it much more succinctly and elegantly than I did, though–we are called to love, not judge.

35

Only thing I’d like to say is that we all aren’t Christians and yet many of us are very charitable, good people with a lot to offer the world. I don’t hold the same beliefs as some of you or believe that there is only one way or one “truth”, but my feelings are just as valuable as anyone.

This is one reason why we need to be careful how things are worded. It can be hurtful when one’s feelings are devalued because they feel differently than you. :hug:

36

How true, Jan. My father was not a Christian (as far as I know, and we had several conversations about this), but he was a wonderful man…very bright and compassionate.

I think that the thing that this thread has done for me is that it will cause me to pause, with different thoughts, when I see someone standing on the street…

THAT’s one thing that is so wonderful about these forums.

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com·pas·sion /kəmˈpæʃən/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[kuhm-pash-uhn] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun

  1. a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.

Alleviating a person’s suffering, besides giving them free money,
is also characterized by teaching them self-sufficiency.
Teaching them how to cope with frustrations, instead of giving up.
Teaching them a SKILL, such as: running a lathe, emptying the city’s garbage cans, typing, how to file folders correctly, alphabetically,
being a teacher’s aide, being a cook, working in general.
I have a STRONG desire to help EACH person who begs from me, but, I cant’ be sure , if I put them in my car, and drive them home with me, that they will be trustworthy. I might get knocked on the head, instead. Might not, too.
I still desire to help the person, I am frustrated though.
The BEST kind of compassion begins in the home,in the family.
Do mom and dad take care of their children? Do they show them love? Do they teach their children self discipline, self monitoring?
OR>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
is dad absent, and making more babies, mom working so hard she is never available emotionally, being drained by working all day or night,
or, do the parents abuse their children, thus paving the way for the child to probably grow up an emotional train wreck? Children learn from what they see the adults in their lives doing. Or,not doing.

I’m not saying all children in disadvantaged home situations grow up to be useless, and unable to hold down a job, but, I am saying that parents should take their responsibilities seriously, and take care to be a good example to their children.
When mom is out of the home,(save your comments, please) instead of at HOME, taking care of her children, a lot is lost.
When dad is unwilling to shoulder the responsibility of being a DAD, a lot is lost in the bringing up of the children.

So, if you see a homeless person, don’t perpetuate their homelessness, by giving them money and a pat on the head, see if you can notify someone who could take the person to a decent shelter. Instead of letting them rot on the street.
If you really want to help homeless people, try to get training centers going, FOR the homeless. Make it a POLITICAL thing.
Try to get laws passed, that establish skill centers for homeless people.
And, for the truly mentally ill, try to protect them, and get them to
a place that will treat them with dignity.
Don’t just hand them money. Talk to your mayor, your congressman, and see what can be done to actually take the people OFF the streets, and make them into people who contribute to society.

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But don’t you think that, since those things take such a long time to accomplish, sometimes a little something is necessary to help them get by.

I agree that the best long term solution is skill teaching, but what about now? These people are not disposable, they just need a little help now. I know what you’re trying to say, but I think the harshness in the overall tone of your posts is what disturbs me. Especially coming from a fellow Christian. Jesus, according to the gospels, had a very deep compassion for the poor, and society’s cast offs. I grew up in a Christian home, and excepted Jesus early in my life, and I always remember different things our church would do to help some of our less fortunate families. Some of them needed a month’s groceries, a bill paid, or some little something to help them over a finacial snag. Not because we’re enabling them to be needy, but because we felt they just needed a little help past a rough spot.

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IMHO, there is [I]nothing [/I]wrong with giving someone a little money or pocket change. It may not be as hugely helpful as opening a center for the homeless or creating laws to protect and help the homeless, but it is a help. And even a small help can do a lot of good.

40

What if you can give something else besides money?

Here’s a couple of stories to illustrate:
If you’ve ever taught your child(ren) to ride a bike, or rollerskate, how many times did they fall? Did you help them back up, or leave them on the ground, with no instructions?
(I’m hoping you helped them back up, and encouraged them to try again)
Let’s say the child had forgotten to lace up his skates correctly, did you let her keep stumbling over them, or did you educate her on the correct way to lace up her skates?
What if she gave up, and told YOU to lace up her skates, every time she wanted to play?
Did you do it?

By showing her how to skate the right way, you helped her enjoy her experience, and helped her develop a sense of independence, plus, by refusing to lace her skates up for her, you taught her how to solve a problem ON HER OWN.