Ok, I REALLY DO LOVE MY MOTHER…but she is driving me CRAZY!!!
I have a mantra that is going through my head right now.
“I LOVE MY MOTHER, YES I DO, I LOVE MY MOTHER HOW 'BOUT YOU?”
I’m getting married (May 31st), I live 3 hours from where we’re getting married. So my mom (who lives in Oakland) is having to take care of some details. Filling out paperwork etc. for the hall.
She is lagging, saying “I’ll try” when I ask her to do something. She picked up the paperwork for the hall 3 weeks ago. She lives right across the street from the hall (ACROSS THE STREET), it’s a two lane non-busy street! She hasn’t filled out the paperwork (it’s first come first serve), she hasn’t asked what time we can get in to set up, which is going to effect the reception time. I can’t print the invitations until I know the reception time.
She is “planning” a bridal shower, which is wonderful…however, my cousin is the brides maid. I told mom to call cousin, since she is very organized and wanted to plan the shower. Mom hasn’t called her, doesn’t have a time, has a semi list. Has been “planning” for two weeks, but that planning is a date only. Has told people she will call them, but hasn’t. My cousin is pissed, calling me and saying, “So, I heard you’re having a bridal shower. My mom told me.” I’m getting stuck in the middle.
When I ask her, if stuff is done (I give her one task at a time because she’s not doing the stuff she says she will), she gets upset and says I’m criticizing her. I can’t handle this. I’m not a high strung person. I don’t need the perfect wedding. Frankly if the flower girl pukes from stage fright I could care less.
We’re having family (both sides) do food, it’s really a low key thing (although over 200 people, just family and close friends will be there), but nothing too formal, etc.
I just can’t stand that she’ll promise to get something done, that I could have my aunt or FH’s mom do something and have it done, but my mom promises. THEN when I ask her about it 3 weeks later she gets upset and says “I’ll try”.
She’s retired, and teaches at the adult school one day a week for two hours. The rest of the time she plays video games online. Thats it. She’s not super busy, she doesn’t have a lot of other things to do, she’s just lazy.
I can’t handle this. It’s driving me NUTS!!! I want to cry out of frustration, and I’m not that kind of person. I think my basic issue is she’s promising to do these things, then not, then the time crunch comes, and I have to try to organize 50 things from 3 hours away, and they are things you really have to be present to take care of.
I don’t want this to be an anxiety filled experience. I want this to be very laid back, fun thing. Everything else planning wise is. It’s just her.
I do love my mother so, she is a wonderful women, but she is so freakin’ lazy, and not following through on her promises, I can’t handle this. I’m going to loose it on her, and I don’t want to.