I know no one here really knows me. And it’s ok if you don’t care. I just have to vent.
A dear ‘friend’ and I had an argument tonight, spawned over something so stupid… I had no idea the topic was so touchy to him. And it was over IM, so we all know how that goes. And I never seem to say things or explain things right. I look like the bad guy. I look like the unwantable person.
And worse, when I said how upset and crying I was, he never said he was sorry.
I hate that I ruin my chances with him so much. I seem to do everything wrong. I wasn’t like this before. He liked so many things about me that I think he thinks the opposite of me now.
And at times like these I really hate what my life has become. Endless medical bills, no money, medical tests, feeling crappy and awful every day. Talks that revolve around my health every day, ruining plans, being constantly tired… I really can’t take it anymore. I want to be like other people. The people I work with who I hear talking about their lives, as I sit there miserable. They talk about shopping and their SO and their lives.
I am so sorry for being me sometimes.