I agree with the previous posters…
the best way I’ve found with teens is just totally direct here-is-how-it-is language like ‘okay, everyone - it’s getting late - time to go home’. Short and sweet and to the point.
Good luck…we used to have a sign in our office that read ‘Raising teens is like nailing Jell-O to a tree’ - apropos… :teehee:
It is nice that even those these parents obviously have different opinions and rules, they still respect your rules and opinions as a parent and were good enough to contact you to let you know the situation.
I had a freind whos parents were very very relaxed when we were teenagers, and although sometimes we thought it was realy cool and would hang out at hers at weekends (particularly if there was a party on or if we or they were going out) i was secretly always glad that my mum was tougher and i could rely on her to provide a good safe house and parents who wernt hungover all weekend (well most of the time!)
I was never the popular girl in high school, so similar to your daughter, when i actually had freinds over my mum would be delighted and do her best to accomodate them. Her method of making sure they were not there to late (unless they were actually staying) was to ask them about an hour before they were due to leave ‘How are you getting home, do you want me to phone your mum, or if you need a lift then remember i am going to be at X’oclock’ It was enough of a hint for them to know they couldnt stay too late and gave me some ammo to use to ask them to leave at the right time. Since i was shy and never wanted to be the party pooper, having that little bit of back up from my mum realy helped me take responsability.
Like everyone has said if you don’t put down rules the kids are going to walk all over you and your house. When my son remarried she came with kids. They ruled the house and let me tell you it was awful to see. One night my son had to use the bathroom and to find a kid in the kitchen making a sandwich. Well the sh…t hit the fan and I sure don’t blame him. The kid left and after about 15 minutes he came back, came through a basement window.:tap:
I don’t think that you want it to get that bad so put done the rules and keep with them. Kids love to push parents to there limits. It is just there way once they get to an age they really do think they are adults. Ya just can’t tell them anything that they don’t know.:hair:
Good luck and hope it works out for you.
:waving:
I agree 100%. Don’t be afraid to be the enforcer on occaision! 