Hi, My name is Jessica and I have a Knitting Complex

Does anyone ever get this? Every time I knit a gift for someone. I plan it out, carefully pick out the yarn. Get all excited and think how great it’s going to be. Finish the project, sometimes I’m happy with the outcome, sometimes not as much. And then I get into the depressed funk that it’s a stupid idea and the person really isn’t going to like it. What is wrong with me? :crying:

Nothin’s wrong. You just gotta know that you’re your worst critic. I always have to tell myself that about my artwork, and I’m sure its the same with knitting. It is pretty much an artform in itself.

And hey, you mustn’t expect the best outcome, or the worst, but just know the possibility is there that they may not like it as much as you may want them to.

I do the exact same thing. I second guess my choices, then I think they won’t like it and so on. I come from a family who finds the black cloud and negative in everything than the good. I made a quilt for a friend and when I was done I was sure she wouldnt like it, I folded it up and put it on my cats bed, anyway she saw a pic of it in the background of one of the pics i sent and she said I love that quilt in the pic, did you make that, it is so cute? I regretted not giving it to her. I made her another one and still havent sent it, i just dont think it is as nice as the first one. LoL it is a never ending dilemia.

Everyone in unison Hi, Jessica

I haven’t given any of my knitting away yet, and the Christmas gifts I have lined up - well, I’m a little nervouse about them…I know they’ll like them, but I’m scared they’ll get put in the closet and never used! DH keeps trying to convince me that everyone will love them…

But I do think we are our own worst critics. We’re going to see the mistakes before anyone else will. And we’re going to think we picked the wrong colors and yarns, etc. But in the end it turns out ok.

Hello Jessica!

I’ll make my own confession here. I joined this group for the very reason you stated - obsessive worry over knitted gifts! My very first post was about a wedding gift that I was doing and was sure was just awful - too bright, too furry, too big/small, too… fill in negative adjective of choice! Joining this group of wonderful people has helped more than I can tell you. See, I’m supposed to be getting ready for a big family trip and finishing my knitting but what I am doing? Responding to your note because I go through the same thing!

One thing that I’ve learned in my 4 yrs is that the only ones who are going to appreciate your gift the way it should be - aka lavish praise and :notworthy: bow down to your skills - are going to be close family members, people who have watched you knit or other knitters. So I come here and it’s the most wonderful thing in the world. Show us pictures of what you’ve done and I promise, you will be complimented! We see more than you do - we see all those frogged rows and all those counted stitches and all those minutes with needles in your hands and… we see the love!

The gift anxiety has gotten somewhat better for me over the years but the one to really answer this is Ingrid! :shock: I’m not implying that she’s old or anything like that but I think she’s been knitting longer than anyone else that I’ve seen. Obviously she was a mere babe of 2 or 3 when she started! :smiley:

At any rate… what you feel is normal. There are some of the most generous and supportive people in this group. While we may not know the receipiant of the gifts, we do know what was involved in the gifts themselves. This is a wonderful source of support. Heck, I can’t seem to stay away even when I know I’ve got to get stuff done! :oops:

Take care and try to relax! Angela

I’m not the only one who can answer, here, obviously. I have the same anxiety as everyone else. I know that what I give is given with love, and took time, planning and money, but I still wonder if they think–eh, it’s just a scarf. I could buy that. Or, being an ‘experienced’ knitter, I wonder if they expect sweaters instead of clogs. I suppose I could do that, but then all my knitting would be for gifted sweaters, all year long, and that’s not why I knit.

So even though I have knitted something for just about anyone, I still feel obligated to buy stuff, too. Actually–that’s just for my kids. Anyone else, I believe, is happy with a knitted gift.

Not much help, here, huh!

Ingrid, I think that you are always helpful! Hey, knowing that you still have anxiety makes ME feel better and I didn’t even start this thread!


I agree, its a very normal response.Initially, I would only knit things for my parents because I knew that even if what I made was awful, they would love it because I made it. Knitting for friends was a lot more scary, so much so that the first baby sweater I knit for someone ended up being knit and frogged a couple of times until I thought it was good enough. It was worth it though, because the friend I gave it to was so moved I’d made something for her baby she started crying (I’m pretty sure they were happy tears or at least I hope!) You might want to start with something like a baby blanket or a throw, its a little less intimidating than giving something to someone that they have to wear.

I’m the same way especially since I just started knitting the beginning of June late May… I’m afraid they will be like oh boy she knitted us something and get the fake ohhhss :rollseyes: or they won’t like what i choose for them orrrrrr cause I’m so new to knitting they will wear it once and it will all come unraveled!! :rofling: I don’t worry to much about my family cause they all do some type of craft… My mom is a quilter, My dad a woodworker, My grandmother loves to crochet so they know the time but the other side well it could be interesting… :doh:

I see mistakes in mine and dh says he doesn’t and they won’t…we all pretty much feel this way :thumbsup:

I worry too…especially when my MIL said to me when I started “a piece of advice, don’t knit for anyone else because nobody wants it”. I think she was use to knitting stuff though when about the only thing you could find was red heart.

If you’re proud of it…just give it away. Even if they don’t love it, they’ll love all the effort and time you put into it. Someone suggested once to estimate a rough stitch count using the gauge then put a label or tag on the item like “45,000 stitches of love”

We are each our own worst critic, as has been stated. I always, always worry over hinky details!