I can’t help but notice all the KH’ers who are blue right now! I can count myself in that group. I’m not surprised that I’m blue because I always get this way during the winter months (SAD), but it sure makes every little thing seem like a big deal! Please bear with me as I get this off my chest!
I found out yesterday that I more than likely have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). I just have to get some bloodwork done to officially say that’s what it is. I am glad that I’ve finally found out what is wrong with me. It’s been 5 years of suffering through symptoms that nobody could figure out. On the down side, looking through some information on PCOS, it turns out it can be a quite serious ailment. Heart problems, diabetes, infertility. Actually, the infertility is a good thing for me. DH and I have been informed to NOT try for kids. Long story. Anyway, it seems I will need to go on a special or controlled diet and a lifetime of exercise and/or medication. I know that’s not a big deal, but it just bums me out.
DH and I have been friends with this other couple for quite some time. I’ve known Dave since 6th grade, DH and Dave lived on the same floor in college, one floor below me, and Dave’s wife, Sue, and I hit it off fabulously and became fast friends. We are even each other’s children’s Godparents (did that make sense?) Anyway, it seems that as of late, Dave and Sue are making time for other new friends and we have been placed on the backburner. This doesn’t bother my DH as much as it does me as he has other friends he can hang out with. I don’t. I don’t make friends very easily and so Sue is it and now I feel lost. I really need someone to talk to about my diagnosis yesterday because even though my Mom went with me yesterday, I’m sure she doesn’t want to hear me hash it over and over. And poor DH, he just doesn’t understand the whole PCOS thing. He know it has something to do with hormones, but that’s about it. I would love a friend to lean on, and I don’t feel I have one. I thought about just flat out asking her if I have done something wrong, if she’s outgrown me or what?
I have a 2 year old. That should say it all! (for all of you wondering how I have a child when I was advised not to, he is adopted.) Anyway, I love Alex with all my heart and would do anything for him, but he is all boy and all toddler! And, again, I have no one to talk about the trials and tribulations of motherhood with. Dave and Sue have a little boy who is 1 1/2 years old, but our parenting styles are on opposite ends of the spectrum. Dave and Sue are very controlling in what their son does and DH and I feel that Alex should explore his world, unless he’s going to hurt himself or someone else.
Ugh! It all sounds so much worse when it’s written down. I guess in a nutshell, I’m just feeling very alone, maybe a little like I’ve lost my identity, which I think alot of mothers go through and just plain ole’ depressed (another symptom of PCOS).
Anyway, thank you all for listening to me. It was kind of nice getting that out in the open!