Funny Forward!

My friend sent this to me, thought I’d share.:blooby:

[CENTER][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]Can you cry under water?[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/CENTER]

[CENTER][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=green][COLOR=green][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/CENTER]

[CENTER][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=#000eef][COLOR=#000eef][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]Why do you have to “put your two cents in” … but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts?” Where’s that extra penny going to?[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/CENTER]

[CENTER][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=maroon][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/CENTER]

[CENTER][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=olive][COLOR=olive][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]Why does a round pizza come in a square box?[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/CENTER]

[CENTER][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]What disease did cured ham actually have?[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/CENTER]

[CENTER][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/CENTER]

[CENTER][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=gray][COLOR=gray][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/CENTER]

[CENTER][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a Hearing?[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/CENTER]

[CENTER][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/CENTER]

[CENTER][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=#000eef][COLOR=#000eef][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/CENTER]

[CENTER][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=fuchsia][COLOR=fuchsia][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway.[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/CENTER]

[CENTER][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=red][COLOR=red][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]Why is “bra” singular and “panties” plural?[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/CENTER]

[CENTER][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/CENTER]

[CENTER][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=teal][COLOR=teal][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/CENTER]

[CENTER][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool Lane[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]?[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/CENTER]

[B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=green][COLOR=green][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=green][COLOR=green][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]?[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B]

[CENTER][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=olive][COLOR=olive][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs![/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/CENTER]

[CENTER][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B] :roflhard:[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/CENTER]

[CENTER][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/CENTER]

[CENTER][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=olive][COLOR=olive][FONT=Trebuchet MS][B]If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/CENTER]

[CENTER][CENTER][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=maroon][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/CENTER]
[/CENTER]

[CENTER][CENTER][CENTER][CENTER][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=olive][COLOR=olive][FONT=‘Trebuchet MS’][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER][/CENTER]
[/CENTER]
[CENTER][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=‘Trebuchet MS’][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=5][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][FONT=Arial][B]Does the[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER]
[CENTER][B][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][FONT=‘Trebuchet MS’][B][I]Alphabet song[/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER]
[CENTER][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][FONT=‘Trebuchet MS’][B]and[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER]
[CENTER][B][I][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=6][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][FONT=‘Trebuchet MS’][B][I]Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star[/I][/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER]
[CENTER][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=navy][COLOR=navy][FONT=‘Trebuchet MS’][B]have the same tune?[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER]
[CENTER][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER]
[CENTER][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=purple][COLOR=purple][FONT=‘Trebuchet MS’][B]Why did you just try singing the two songs above?[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER]
[CENTER][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER]
[CENTER][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=‘Trebuchet MS’][B]Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your butt?[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/CENTER]
[CENTER][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][FONT=‘Trebuchet MS’][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/CENTER]
[CENTER][FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][COLOR=black][COLOR=black][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][B][FONT=Trebuchet MS][SIZE=5][COLOR=maroon][COLOR=maroon][FONT=‘Trebuchet MS’][B]Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride he sticks his head out the window[/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/CENTER][/CENTER]

:lol: :rofling: :roflhard: :thumbsup:

adorable!

Very funny, thanks for the laughs! :thumbsup:

:roflhard::roflhard::roflhard:

I love that!

[SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]Those were hilarious. :roflhard::roflhard::roflhard::roflhard:[/FONT][/SIZE]

:roflhard: :chair: :roflhard: :chair: :roflhard:

Hmm, those questions are along the same lines as “Ok, so what’s the speed of dark?”, “If you’re travelling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, does anything happen?”, “If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?”, “What happens if you get scared half to death twice in a row?” and “You can’t have everything, where would you put it?” :roflhard:

And of course

“Shouldn’t abbreviated be a much shorter word?”

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?