What an interesting thread! When I posted I was mostly thinking of my own experiences and I didn’t even think of any cultural reasons. If it is a cultural tradition, that’s one thing, but I don’t see the point of it on little girls for other reasons. This is just another reason why little girls are growing up too quickly. On another thread we discussed how bad it is that little girls can’t be little girls anymore and how they’re dressing “skanky” for Halloween. Well this is just another reason why. When they’re allowed to do “grown up” things too early they want to be grown up, hence acting and dressing older. Little girls should be little girls and any body modification (because that’s what it is) should wait until they’re ready to make the decision themselves in a mature way.
I’m Dominican and its a cultural thing as well to have your ears pierced as a baby. but my mother took me and my sister to the DOCTOR!!! not freaking cheap ass walmart. what is strange is that walmart pierced the baby with that gun. I used to work at limited too and was licenesed to pierce ears and we were not allowed to pierce ears of children under the age of (I think it was 3 Its been awhile) because in Maryland by law they had to get them pierced by a doctor.
Cultural differences for sure! My grandfather (from conservative Dutch upbringing) made it clear to his DDs that if they got their ears pierced, he would pierce their nose. My dad thought that sounded like a good guideline. So when my mom got hers pierced at 40 (I don’t know what her sisters did) we all quickly fell in line and got ours done, too. I was 18 or 19 and I still remember how the piercing smarted.
My DIL works at Wal-Mart and says they are not [I]supposed to[/I] pierce if they are under 5, but she says she’s seen them do it anyway.
My daughter had her ears pierced (at the doctor’s office )as a gift from her godmother (from Argentina) for her baptism.
My own mother wouldn’t let me get mine done until I was 13 (and then I got them doubled pierced (early 70’s).
I didn’t get my sons circumsized because I felt it was unneeded pain for an infant.
Thanks for all of your opinions & stories…I had no idea:hug:
I mentioned this to my coworkers today and the guy that sits behind me said that his SIL had his niece’s ears pierced because she was tired of everyone telling her what a cute little [B]BOY[/B] she had…I’m thinking a pink headband or a pink bow & some double-sided tape would have gotten the same affect, but, to each her own…lol
This has been quite educational for me. I wasn’t even aware that ear piercing was performed in the Doctor’s Office. My Mom did my first set (using a needle, a cork, and an ice cube around 1979):doh: …and my second set was done at Claire’s in the Mall.
I had my DD ears pierced at 8 months old by a doctor. It was done with some kind of device that hold the earring in one half and the back in the other. It is pinched through the ear. The first one was easy but she knew what was going to happen by the time the second one was done. She cried but not even as long as she would have when she had been given a shot. I would never have my ears pierced at WalMart. Yuch.
I had my daughter’s ears pierced when she was two.
Like dreamsherl they used a similar device, only they used two. And they timed them to be done at exactly the same time. It was at the local salon but I checked around all over town carefully before choosing where we went to have them pierced.
She got mad, but because it was once… after a few seconds the shock wore off… I could tell she felt the burning sensation but that wore off quickly too!
I did it because I knew they would heal really well and really quickly. And they did. I also figured, that if she didn’t want them later on… no worries.
I had mine done when I was ten. I was told by my parents not until later, but Grandma knew better!
And I was plagued with infections and metal issues, until I wore 22 karat gold earings for about 3 years.
I just wanted her to not have to go through that!
As for… looking like an adult… absolutely not! I keep her in small sleepers and occasionally, for a really, really special event, she can wear some of my fancy earings!
To me… its the whole picture that counts. Earings, or clothing, in of themselves may or may not be tacky/adult/skanky… It is the appearance combined with the presentation.
And I am sad to say, but even my sheltered daughter picked up the “Britney hip” thingy by the time she was three… and we were very sheltered back then (no t.v., country living… single car that Dh had…)
THANK YOU! I was waiting for THAT to finally come up. Not being a girl or having a daughter (perhaps someday?) I didnt want to have to be the one to bring it up (it’s a kind of taboo subject) as a similar situation. But it IS very similar and I would just like to bring up a second quote from earlier in this thread
yup, that says it all, and it expresses my opinion on both subjects.
I think doing it when they’re infants seems kind of…well, mean. But then again, I’m not a fan of anything that causes a child unnecessary pain (for example, I don’t believe in circumcision). Giving them a shot because it will help them is one thing…piercing the ears? Not so much…
I think it should be a person’s choice whether or not to have their ears pierced, because once those holes are healed, they don’t go away. What if the child doesn’t ever want to have pierced ears?
I’m not saying it’s going to traumatize the child or make them hate their parents, I just think it should be a choice.
However, all parents raise their children differently, and it is, ultimately, their decision. I don’t have kids, and, well, there is a good chance that I may never due to medical conditions, but I do respect a parents rights to raise their children as they see fit as long as they’re not abusing their child, so like I said, it’s not my place.
Edit: I just noticed that someone a couple posts above mine mentioned the circumcision thing, too. Glad I’m not the only one who thinks along those lines, hehe.
My Mom took my 2 younger sisters and I to the doctor to have it done when I was 5 and they were 3 and 1. The doctor actually didn’t want to do it–said that we didn’t need earrings!
He was a sweet guy.
I didn’t have my daughter’s done as a baby for much the same reasons as everyone else. In fact, I didn’t get my daughter’s done until she was 12 and absolutely begged for it. Then after having the first one done she cried and wouldn’t allow the lady to do the second. Ummm, I blush to admit it, but we had it done in the middle of the mall–she sat in that chair and insisted that she wanted it done but was scared to do it. The lady finally gave me a disposable plastic earring gun to take home and use there. (I did get her to hold still finally).
One word of caution for those considering one up in the cartilage part of the ear–because there are no blood vessels in the cartilage itself, the body is unable to fight off infection there. The resulting infection can actually land you in the hospital. (Learned tis in Anatomy Class as I was about to enter nursing school–classmate who sat next to me had it done anyway and wound up in hte hospital over one weekend because of the resulting infection and high fever).
:roflhard: I knew circumcision would come up!
There can be good reasons to consider this… and we should be careful in further discussion to use careful words here!
For one… there is very successful anaesthetics available.
For another… lets just say you know of a family condition… and have watched several older male family members elect to have the procedure to correct this issue…
After watch those men go through the healing… then discovering how many other family males have had the same issue…
You might feel very strongly that what the doctor is recommending is a good choice. And you might just be very impressed at how your son’s recovery is nothing like what you watched the other’s go through!
Naturally, there are both sides to every story! I just ask that you consider that there might be reasons you are not aware of… and yes, I am aware that not everyone chooses for their son given the same circumstances.
For the record… in my opinion… ear piercing is far more cosmetic than circumcision. To put the two on a level playing field is very… simplistic!
My parents had mine done when I was only a few months old (3 or 4 I think- they probabaly would have done it sooner, but I was a preemie and born 3 months early). I have neevr wished they weren’t there, and in fact was quite glad because while these holes never grow over, no matter how long i go without earrings, all my other piercings grow over within days.
I personally see nothing wrong with it- and it does seem to me that those that do often didn’t get theirs done until much later in life. Often they dealt with infections and other problems, but when you are a baby, you aren’t pulling at them and as you grow up they are just there, so you don’t end up with those same issues.
I have a son, but when I have a daughter, I won’t even question it, I will get it done and likely before 4 or 5 months of age too. As for Wal-mart, well you can tell by looking if they are as clean as they should be, so I wouldn’t even be all that concerned about that.
I will probably ask to get both done at the same time as my parents did for me though…
I really hate it when people throw that word around so lightly. Talk to some adults and children who have truly been abused, and see if you’d still equate ear piercing to child abuse…
It’s along the same vein to me as those who tell me it was “child abuse” that I had my son circumsized- but they have no clue about the health reasons for getting it done that run in the family.
I know it is simply ignorance to what abuse really is most of the time, but it gets old really fast…
I totally agree mum2caden. To see child abuse in this (ear piercing or circumcision) is just ridiculous. There are far worst things you can do to your kids, and many things aren’t detectable on a “scream-o-meter”. Bad parenting, bad food, bad education, wrong values, that’s thousands of times worst!
Nobody on this board could be a better mom than my mom, even if she did the “horror” of piercing my ears when I was a baby. I know, I’m not very objective… but really, she’s a great mom. :teehee:
as to the ‘make her look like a Girl’ thing
I was in an ACME supermarket one day and my (then) 18 month old daughter was in the shopping cart seat wearing a white turtleneck shirtwith frilly Pink stitching, and Osh Kosh overalls with Pink Stitching, and her little Gold Studs in her ears (from a YEAR earlier) and this LITTLE (maybe 4’ tal) old lay came up to me an in an absolute RAGE asked me if I actually thought HE would appreciate my having had BOTH HIS ears pierced. Being a Nurse, and knowing that MY reality had little or nothing to do with her anger I just said “No Mam”. She just walked away from me (thank GOD)
When I got my 3 daughters ears pierced, they were 5-6 months old, I was told that the scar tissue babies make is softer and more skin like and less scar like. each timeI went to get it done (at a reputable beauty parlor with only the trained people doing it) I went to them the week before we had it done to discuss how to have it less traumatic. The pediatrician recomended I nurse her while I was done. I did and the owner of the parlor joked that he had never been LESS interested in catching a Glimps under a womans shirt than that day, then wen i brought in my Second daughter he just GROANED and looked to the heavens asking “is this one gonna get her ears done TOO?!?!?!?” The same person did all 3 kids, and they were all done with only a second or so of cryng, not loud long lasting wails of pain. The Nursing was both comforting and nourishing, and helped them to foget that pinch that hurt them so much a few seconds before.
The Guy who pierced their ears has actually recomended that babies be fed while their ear gets done (prefferably the good stuff from Mom) SInce he saw how quickly they calmed down with that as a distraction
JMHO
ecb
When I have a daughter I won’t be getting her ears pierced without her permission. I don’t think I have that right, they are not my ears.
I haven’t had my son circumcised either. If he wants to when he is older than I will support that decision. Its his penis.
My friend’s son who is eight is having a few retraction problems and he wants to be circumcised, so she is getting him done. I think this is the right choice because its his choice to make.
The owner of the ears should decide, same as the owner of the penis should decide.
I know of two grown men who have chosen to be circumcised and they both healed well and were happy with their decision. I think that is a case for informed consent rather than a case for circumcision.
I have a friend who got her baby’s ears pierced recently. They are crooked but she can’t take it out without the child screaming, so its staying crooked. It looks ridiculous and painful because its at the top of the earlobe. Poor little thing.
Well, while I do see the point in the “owner should decide” fact is, I have never had an issue with the fact that my ears were pierced without my permission, and am in fact quite glad it was done… but also, my husband is circumsized and he doesn’t have an issue with that either… so while the argument seems valid, it’s not all that realistic. I think people make all of this into more of an issue then they really need to…I mean do what you do, but to claim that a parent who choses ear piercing or circumcision is being cruel in some way, or abusing their child is to me just someone playing holier than thou… if you feel that way, fine, but realize how you sound and how you are coming across to others.
I am okay with opinions, but judgements on others ticks me off.
My daughter can have her ears pierced when she is old enough to ask for them to be, and my husband and I feel she is responsible enough to take care of them. At the rate she’s going, I’m guessing that age will be somewhere around 32 :lol:
Since its been brought up, I’ll add my 2 cents: we don’t circ either. We have no reason to (no medical reason in the family, no religious reason), and felt it was unnecessary. And no, my MIL squealing “But its soooo DIRTY!” is not a reason. Actually, we made the right choice - DS was hospitalized with a UTI when he was 5 weeks old. It turned out he had a kidney problem that would have gone undiagnosed and possibly caused permanent damage if he had been circ’ed and hadn’t caught a UTI so easily.
On both these issues, I’m a firm believer in ‘to each their own.’ I would never judge another parent for making a different choice, just as I hope no one judges us for our choices.
This is interesting but ear piercing is surely as cosmetic as you can get for a baby. There is NO need to get it done so why do it? What is next make-up on your baby to make them look cuter too? Bad enough young girls want to be ladies but they are almost forced into believing it is okay to want to add on to what is given to you, thus making them think beauty is all on the outside.
Why not just focus on caring for them as they are, and making sure they know you don’t need to wear make-up or jewelry to be beautiful, that the real beauty is what comes from within?
I hate how this society is so focused on how good or cute we look when there are way bigger things to consider day-to-day.
If you can’t find your daughter to be cute or pretty without earrings, how good of an example are you setting? These are the same girls that grow up getting plastic surgery and wearing make-up 24/7. Why don’t we just knit our daughers cute outfits and hats instead.