the pattern says decrease 1 st ar raglan edge in next and every following alt row not got a problem with that but also dec1 st at neck edge in next and every following 3rd row so do i start decreasing first at the end of the first raglan row and then do i count 3 rows sorry to be a pain not knitted for years

In the patterns I’ve done this sort if instruction has said “at the same time”. Does your pattern say something like this? I think it would be quite normal to do these at the same time. You just need to remember what you’re doing or write it out.
Next row dec at raglan, dec at neck
Row 2 no decreases
Row 3 this is the alternate so dec at raglan
Row 4 this is following 3rd row so dec at neck
Row 5 alternate row so dec raglan
Row 6 no dec
Row 7 alternate dec raglan, also following 3rd so dec neck

Until you have achieve the given instruction such as a certain number of rows in total or a certain number of stitches left on the needle. If it tells you how many stitches remain you can count the decreases on your written out list to check on your progress.

Hope this helps

so have 30 stitches and pattern says work 25 rows , dec 1st at raglan edge in next and alt rows at the same time dec 1st at neck edge in next and every following 3rd row until you have 8 stitches left so what row numbers would i decrease for neck edge

Yes that sounds like what I’ve started to type out before.
If you call “next row” row 1 then the instruction says to dec raglan and neck edge on this row. See above where I put “next row”.
Alternate is row 3, 5, 7 etc for dec raglan
Every following 3rd is row 4, 7, 10 etc

So you can follow the first 7 rows i typed above and then continue u til 25 rows. This should leave 8 stitches.

If you still need more help, do say, I can try to explain further for you.

thank you i will give it ago.

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Let us know how you get on. Its no problem to ask for more help.

i have just finished a rib pattern knit 1 purl 1 i have 37 stitches and i have got to increase 4 stitches evenly along the row im now on the wrong side which number stitches do you suggest i use to increase and do i increase by knitting the stitch then knitting into the back of the same stitch .

Sounds like its going well.

@salmonmac posted this great knitting calculator on another thread, it’s simple to use and spreads the increases evenly

The result on this calculator says M1 which means make 1 (just in case you aren’t familiar with it). This is the increase stitch.
There are different ways to increase kfb as you’ve mentioned is one of them. I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to advise which sort of increase would be best for you but someone else might.
Make 1 is where you pull up the thread between stitches, there are video tutorials on it.