Cancer Support Blog

Hi everyone, I’ve never done a blog before so I don’t know how this supposed to work. I guess I’ll just dive in.
I must say [SIZE=7][B][COLOR=Red]THANK YOU[/COLOR][/B][SIZE=2]to everyone who replied to my cancer sucks thread and to everyone who PMed me. It means so much to me. I never knew there were so many wonderful people in the world. I love you all. :muah::muah:[/SIZE][/SIZE]

Just in case there’s someone out there who doesn’t know, Thursday my DH, Jerry, and I were told that his cancer was terminal. I was devastated. I know that he’s scared but he’s doing his best to be strong. When the oncologist told us I lost it. I was so pissed at myself for being weak. Jerry needs me to be strong. So now I cry when he can’t see me.

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I worked yesterday and it was so hard. At lunch the instructor I was working with asked me if something was wrong. He had noticed that I wasn’t myself and that I seemed distracted. He’s a friend so I told him what was going on. He’s a cancer surviver so he understood.

Today is better. A last week we got a scooter for Jerry so he could get out (his pulmonary disease makes walking very difficult).
We went to the dog park and walk around. It was so beautiful and he really enjoyed being out enjoying the refreshing spring air and hearing the birds and watching the dogs at play. Our beagle loves the park. One of the women there is going to give some yarn because she doesn’t have time to crochet anymore. That’s pretty cool. I’ve got to get some shopping done so that’s all for now.

:muah::hug:

Nadja :knitting:

What a wonderful start to your blog. I look forward to reading more about how you are cherishing the time you have and providing support when you need it.

I lost my godmother and my aunt to cancer battles that lasted years, I sympathize with what you are going through.:grphug:

Well done on starting a blog. You can cry and scream at us and save your smiles for darling hubby.

We’re all here. Just take it a step at time.

Thoughts are with you sweetheart, stay strong.

:hug::heart::hug::heart::hug::heart::hug:
Give us all you got Nadja…we’ll store the words you have to say about how angry and hurt you are and we’ll get rid of them for you so you can give the kind and happy ones to Jerry.
Give him and yourself a great big hug from all of us here at KH:muah:

We’re all here for you… I’m glad you have someplace to let it all out. :grphug:

I’ve been looking at some blogs and everyone tells stuff about themselves that makes them interesting. I don’t think there’s much that interesting about me, but there are 1 or 2 things, I guess.

I’m an artist model, I don’t think that’s very interesting but others seem to think so.

I’m also a union organizer

I love to knit, but you all know that. Why else would I be here?

I’m 43 yrs old. I’ll be 44 :ick: on June 3rd. Not very interesting , but somewhat depressing.

My husband’s name is Jerry and he’s 23 yrs older than I am. He has 2 sons and they have 1 beautiful child each. Our oldest son’s child is Michael and he will be 3 on June 12th. Our younger son’s child is Danielle aka Dannie who was 3 on December 23rd and it is her beautiful image that is my avatar.

Jerry is an artist and I tease him sometimes saying that he married me to get a free model who will cook for him. He calls himself a sculptor who paints, but he also writes poetry. We met 22 yrs ago and I fell in love with him because he wrote me poetry. He still writes me poetry.

I am a Quaker but I don’t believe in any God in particular. I don’t know if that makes sense or not.

I have a 4 yr old beagle named Lily and a 16 yr old Calico cat named Camille.

I always wanted to live in 1920’s Paris and I still do.

I want to drive across the country using the old Route 66

I love Mozart operas, 1920’s and '30’s French cabaret music, the Sex Pistols, the Pogues, the Who, the Beatles, the Stones, Jimmy Hendrix, Janice Joplin, Louie Armstrong, Ella Fitzgerald, Big Band and Swing music, Jazz and Blues from the 20’s and 30’s, Blue Grass, and real Country music not Nashville top 40.

I love old movies

I love Hugh Laurie’s work as well that of Stephen Fry. We watch House every week, it’s Jerry’s favorite show

I love mysteries. I’m a big fan of Mystery on PBS. I also like Masterpiece Theater

I love to workout

I think that’s it :shrug:

There is one more thing I wanted to mention. I want to use this blog as a support system for others who are living with and or caring for someone with cancer. So everyone please feel free to join in.

:muah::hug:

Nadja xxx

Thanks for starting this Nadja! I can’t imagine having this diagnosis for my husband…dealing with my mom having lung cancer is hard enough.

We got the results last Wednesday and hospice was ordered immediately. The difference in my mom between then and today is so great it’s hard to believe my daughter and I were here last weekend and she was up and laughing and giving her her birthday gift early. I’m so glad she did because now my 11 year old has a wonderful memory of her grandmother. :slight_smile:

My mom has small cell lung cancer and it is an aggressive sucker. When this kind is diagnosed, it’s generally already too late for treatment. There is no cure. Hospice was here today and upped her dosage of morphine and the amount of time between dosings. Dad signed the DNR. Their best guess is maybe 2 weeks.

It came on so sudden…it’s almost like it’s a dream.

Nadja -

I don’t know what else to add that has not been said other than we are all here for you and we are all sending love, hugs and prayers your way.

If you need ANYTHING, just post here. We will be there for you.

Lynn

Good God, how horrible. I’m so sorry. And It doesn’t matter if it’s a spouse, parent, sibling or child, it’s still awful.

To have the progression happen so quickly, I don’t know what’s worse, to watch it happen over night like your mother or to see the changes happen over a longer period.

I have watched my husband slowly being stripped of all his abilities. I watched him go from a strong vital man of 160 lbs. to a weak and shriveled man of 112 lbs. Although he has gained weight thanks to Megace there are so many thing he can no longer do. I know he feels like he’s a burden and that he’s less than a man.

I don’t know what to tell you to expect. Jerry has been sick for 2 yrs. and he hasn’t hit the hospice stage yet. I don’t relish the idea of seeing my sweetie reduced to a morphine stupor.

My thoughts are with you. Keep checking in.

:muah::hug:

Nadja xxx

nadja -
thanks for sharing your struggles and opening this blog up to others as well:hug:
my grandpa has been refusing treatment for his lympathic cancer. he went the first few treatments. but has since stopped going. its hard to think of my daughter not getting to know him. i will miss him and i am hoping to see him at least one more time.:pout: anyhow, my thoughts and prayers are with you all!:heart::pray::muah:

I’m sorry I didn’t reply to your other post about this. I am trying to come to grips with the fact that I think I have skin cancer in two places and it’s a touchy subject for me right now. I have yet to actually go see a doctor about it yet. Cancer tends to run in my family.

I pray everything will work out for the best for you.

Praying for you Mason…get to the doctor. :slight_smile: My husband had skin cancer when he was a teenager but it was gone with surgery and he’s been cancer free since.

Nadja~ I think this blog is a great idea~
I by the grace of God do not have family with cancer at this time~:pray:
but I have a coworker of 6 yrs( who I have posted about here on KH) who is 31 (now) cancer came back last year… it was first diagnosed 2 yrs ago. she received surgery and radiation and a clean bill of health for each of her 6 mo check up with her oncologist~:pout: this went on for about 2 years… she kept having normal labs and yet she still kept complaining of pain in the same area that the cancer orginated in. The doctor eventually told her " you need to be taking psych medication"~ 1 month later a RADIOLOGIST ordered a follow up CT guess what??? the cancer was back~!:rollseyes:

I saw her last week at the hospital for her chemo and I was dreading it with a vengeance. Iwent there with a lump/ nausea/ and ache in my stomach as I went to see her in the hospital ( the same hospital that dad died in )… I can’t tell you how hard it was to set foot in that god awful place again…:ick:
anyway~ I went to see her and I honestly didn’t know WHAT to say to her… she is a nurse and she KNOWS what is going on~ so I was fortunate enough to let HER do all the talking and I just listened as she told her nurses about how the doctors had treated/ misdiagnosed/ and ignored her. as she went through her story her anger bubbled to the surface and I felt good (:shock:) being there just letting her vent~ I know from my own experience of dealing with a very ill family member that most times you just want to be heard~ the whole experience of being so close between life and death is just plain exhausting
She is back home and I email her reguarly ( so she can email back when she feels like it)… and she thanked ME for coming to see her. I told her it was my privilege and it was because I feel like in some small way I lessened her burden~!:hug:

I just wanted to add my little 2 cents worth~!:heart:

Hi Nadja,

great job starting this blog …hanging there…we are here with you all the way… :pray: we will pray for you and DH… be strong my friend we love you …

Nadja like I said before you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Please remember when reading this it happened almost 20 years ago and medicine has come a long way. I lost my mom to cancer just over a month after my 12th birthday. She was misdiagnosed in the beginning (small town dr.'s know squat) She was then diagnosed properly by another dr. She had breast cancer and had her breast removed. She continued to be sick so they rechecked her and discovered they did not get it all when they operated. She then went for chemo every two weeks and it was a four hour drive away to get her treatments. The treatments ended up doing nothing for her except to lose weight. She was a heavyset woman but was as skinny as Kate Moss or some other super skinny model (mom was so skinny she had bedsores just from sleeping at night her hip bones were sticking out so bad) She went for a routine check and they discovered the cancer had spread, she was terminal. She was given six months, I think she lasted six weeks. The cancer spread so fast it was in her bones and even her brain at the end. Even though it has been almost 20 years I am sitting here bawling. I miss her as much today as the day she passed away. (I also lost my dad when I was 19) I have had a wedding and two kids that she was not able to be there for, I know she was in spirit but it’s not the same.
Sorry for so long but sometimes I need to talk about it and my hubby, I love him but he just doesn’t like to talk about things like this(he lost his dad to a drunk driver when he was young but doesn’t like to talk about it.)

So Nadja just want to thank you for someplace for us to talk to each other about things like this:muah::heart::hug:

Mason, get thee to a [COLOR=Red][B]DOCTOR[/B][/COLOR]. It’s better to catch it early while it’s treatable. You DO NOT want to wait until it’s too late. I know how you feel, cancer runs in my family too but in this case fear [I]is [/I]death. [SIZE=6][COLOR=Red][B]PLLLEEEAAASSSEEE[/B][SIZE=2][COLOR=Black] see a doctor. I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/COLOR][/SIZE]

BTW, I’m glad to see a post from you. It’s been awhile and I was concerned that something may have happened. Done apologize for not responding the my post. I know we’re all here for each other.

:muah: :hug:

Nadja :knitting:

Thanks. I’ve just been pretty busy on the road. All sorts of bad luck crap going on.

I’ll get it checked by a doctor when I can get the time. It’s kind of hard to do these things while out on the road. It’ll have to wait until I make it home again. Besides, it’s probably nothing anyway.

My mom died this morning. It went so fast…we didnt’ expect it today. I’m glad it wasn’t tomorrow, that’s my daughter’s birthday.

Robyn,
So sorry about your mom. My prayers for your family will continue. Take care.

Robyn all I can say is how sorry I am. Your whole family must be devastated and your poor little girl. Even if it’s not her birthday today it’s still going to be a difficult tomorrow. We’re here for you. I hope she didn’t suffer too much. Let me know what I can do for you. :grphug:

:muah::hug:

Nadja xxx