Had a wonderful Thanksgiving, singing, great food, nice family, even all the kids got along really well
than my teenager, who does not and will not live at home, told me she needed a ride home (over an hour round trip)
she had mentioned something to me weeks ago she would either need a ride to or from thanksgiving dinner
I told her should not be a problem, she could set something up, lots of people there, some even live closer to where she lives. when the woman she lives with brought it up, I told her flat out, A needs to make her own plans, and not just assume someone will give her what she wants/demands (or bail her out).
she did call my Mother for a place to stay, for tues and wed night, but never actually asked anyone to drive her to or from dinner.
End of dinner I was packing up our leftover foods and she offered to put something in the car for me since I was driving her home.
I clarified she had not made a concrete plan, nor had she followed up and confirmed with me or anyone else. once she stopped sputtering she asked my mother if she could stay one more night, to which my mom said "well, i was planning on that, i got a movie"
I told her so many times to make plans, to be sure she had a ride, to firm up her plans. she just assumes everyone will just show up when she needs them, will give her what she wants (above and beyond what she needs)
She is willing to work for her spending money, but complains to everyone who will listen that she will never be treated fairly.
Tonight I refused to cave in, I held my ground.
how old should she have been when she was taught that she is responsible for suring up her own plans, not the other way around
I know my other two kids confirm plans with me a few times.