Well, I just noticed Dink’s post about being afraid to fly with needles. Which leads me to finally post my fear. I haven’t flown since 9/11. I live in Manhattan and watched the smoke and smell for weeks. Then 2) that other plane went down, the Domenican Republic plane, out at JFK. And 3) my neighbor across the street had a ticket for that plane but hurt his back and canceled last minute.
So I decided I just wouldn’t fly anymore. Problem is, my husband is having his 2nd yearly conference in Naples, Florida next month. Last year his boss and he wanted me to go. I stayed home. This year I really want to go coz also my Mother in Law is in Ft. Lauderdale and she is 93 and really wants us to come there. I haven’t visited her there since 9/11.
I’m sort of determined to go. I used to fly all over the world! Mexico, Spain, Italy, Greece, Paris, London, Zurich. It’s ridiculous but I feel like I really don’t want TO DIE on a plane. Whew. Ok. Sorry this was so long. I know I have to die somehow…
Any thoughts on how stupid this is or how I might just get over it? :shock:
It’s not really stupid. I was nervous about flying the first time I got on a plane after 9/11, then my shoes set off the metal detector, this was before they required everyone to get their socks dirty. After that first security checkpoint, old habits came back and the hardest thing to deal with was the paranoia. That was the summer of '02. Two years after that, my family dragged me to Hawaii, and I do mean dragged. Two weeks over Christmas in a hotel room with my parents and sibs is definitely not how I would have wanted to do Hawaii. Just this spring, I flew to Houston for an interview.
The best way to get over the nerves is to just go do it. You’ll be fine and you’ll have a great time seeing your mom and the flying nerves will go away.
Definitely NOT stupid! I used to detest flying and spent the entire flight digging into my mom’s arm with my fingernails. She hated flying, too.
But it is the fear that you should get over; if the fear interferes with what you do and how you live your life it needs to be dealt with.
I feel like one of the best ways to get over it is to simply fly again. But it would probably be wise to see a psychologist who can help you come up with a calming routine you can do on the plane if you tense up (perhaps knitting can be a part of that; it’s a part of mine xxx!). A calming routine can make a big difference.
If you fly again you will be very happy that you did.
Victoise, this not stupid! These fears have nothing logical, and they can start anytime. In your case I think it makes total sense why you’re scared. You might suffer from a type of post-traumatic stress disorder.
Have you considered consulting someone? If you think it might be too difficult for you to fly and deal with this alone, maybe it could be a solution. My mom is a counsellor and she had treated dozens of people with all kinds of fears. She says it’s too bad people don’t consult more for these kinds of problems, because it’s easy to treat and generally requires only a few consultations. And it makes such a difference in people’s lives!
I didn’t want to fly before 9/11, so you are ahead of me. And I don’t have your trauma and memories of being in Manhattan that day. And after 9/11…forget it. I’d felt like something would happen in New York for some time, so in 2000, when I had to go to Greece for a visit, I pushed and harassed and nagged my husband to arrange for us to fly out of Boston (:ick:), even though it was not convenient at all. I learned a big lesson from that on 9/11, although it’s hard to say exactly what that lesson was. If it’s going to happen, it’s going to happen and I don’t appear to be able to control it.
It’s so hard to completely avoid flying. I’ll tell you the truth, I had a massive dose of Xanax for my last flight (when I moved here). Massive. I still didn’t want to fly, but I just didn’t really care.
I think the incentive of seeing your elderly MIL is a strong one.
I feel exactly the same way. Statistics help me, a little. It’s just so unlikely that anything will happen. I think that fears are pretty normal. We wouldn’t survive without the instinct of fear. It’s just when the fear hinders us from having a normal life that it becomes a problem. Whenever I get to go back to the U.S. for a visit, I plan to get me a big ol’ prescription once again. :mrgreen:
while your brain may recognize your fear might not be rational, your heart is afraid. it isn’t stupid.
just getting over it? might not be that easy, but yeah- just be prepared, and walk on that plane. how do we get prepared? practice. what are you going to pack? what are you going to bring? are you going to drive the the airport? where should you park? do you know what security is like at your airport?
Think about successful flights- you board, cram yourself into a seat by the window, listen to the flight attendant, take off, (for me with eyes closed) fly for a while, and land. then you grab your stuff, deplane, and go get a big glass of wine.
I totally agree with maybe having a couple counseling sessions, or asking a doctor for a mild tranquilzer. for me, takeoff is the worst part. but, having a plan, and looking forward to the destination get me there.
you can do it!
Don’t let your fear keep you from doing things you’re going to enjoy. I’ve always been afraid to fly…I too sometimes have to take a Xanax before a flight, maybe you should talk to your doctor about that I’m sure they’d be willing to help. I have to admit that I was actually more scared to fly [I]before[/I] 9/11. The first time I got on a plane after 9/11 was that December, and surprisingly I felt more at ease than I susally had. I think its seeing all of the crazy security at the airport (even thought it can be annoying) that made me realize the chances of something happening again would be so small. I’ve heard that you have a better chance of winning the lottery or getting struck by lightening twice than getting into a plane accident…so really the chances of something happening are sooooo slim. I’ve read that the first 60 seconds after takeoff are when something would most likely occur, so a trick I use is to count to 200 or so, and then I feel much safer. I know it can be scary but this trip is a good time to work on overcoming your fear and not let it hinder you from having some great experiences in your life.
I have never been in a plane, and I don’t think I ever will get in one. I can’t explain my fear. I’m not afraid of heights. I’m afraid of CRASHING. I don’t find your fear stupid at all. It has its basis in reality. I don’t know that mine does. My husband keeps telling me he wants to go to Hawaii. I told him to go and send me a postcard. Next year we plan on going to Florida - again - for about the 7th time - by car - a 24-hour drive. Ugh.
A lot of airports and airlines have “courses” for people who are terrified of flying. They basically give you tons of information to help ease your mind and sometimes culminate with a short flight. You could look into some of these.
I also recommend talking to your doctor and possibly getting a prescription for tranquilizers. If you’re not traveling alone, go ahead with the heavy-duty ones! Honestly, sometimes it just takes getting over that hump the first time–and the first time you may need some pharmalogical help. :teehee:
Good luck! Think of how WONDERFUL Florida will be if you conquer this demon!
I’m terrified of flying, but I still do it. Even by myself. I tell myself, “it’ll be okay. it’ll be okay.” and then, when the plane is taking off, i hang onto the arm rests like my life depends on it. :oops: after we’re in the air, i’m fine… :shrug:
It isn’t a stupid fear. It’s rational because you’re willingly giving up control to someone else and you can’t even yell at him to “watch out!” You can’t pump the invisible brake on the passenger floorboard. Something that huge isn’t supposed to be able to fly. It’s crazy not to fear it.
I take a 2 mg valium before flying and I don’t drink during the flight because turbulence freaks me out and landing is the worst part of any flight (to me.) Take the pill, enjoy the takeoff (I love the takeoff!) and then lose myself in the in-house movie or in my iPod and knitting. And don’t even think about how young the pilot is.
My SO’s son-in-law is a pilot and I know how stringent the rules have become. I hope you’re able to overcome your fears and enjoy the journey.
My dh flies all the time, all over the world and so do the guys who work for us.
After 9/11 – we are transplanted NYers living in CT – he had to get right back up in the air as soon as there were planes flying again. He hasn’t looked back and other than the inconvenience of the security hassles at the airport, it’s just another day at work for him.
I just flew for the first time in years (I used to travel for my job before I had kids) and it was no biggie. I was really nervous at first but the champagne in Business class worked wonders.
Don’t let fear keep you from having fun and experiencing life. I figure if it’s my time to go, it won’t matter if I’m getting on a plane or on a bus or just walking out the door of my house.
I,too, have never flown. We, too, want to take another trip to FL next Spring Break and my husband is convinced that I can do it… fly… I get sick everytime I think about it and it’s a year away. Friends just laugh and say it’s nothing. I would really need a POWERFUL drug to get me on the plane… the kind that if the plane was heading straight down, I’d be like, “cooooooooooooool!”
I totally get that fear. Good luck with your driving!
You wrote a good post! I will add, however, that I think it’s better not to know how it flies. :mrgreen: My husband is a mechanical and civil engineer and believe me, I felt worse after he told me about some engineering principles that make flight possible. :shock:
I hate takeoff but love landing, because it means it’s all over. :happydance:
That’s such good stuff… yup take off scares me more than landing.
Limey, that’s the funniest reply, I’m going to think “I’m sooooo windy I’m so windy” when that plane takes off, maybe it’ll help the take off. :lol:
THANKS all of you for such good advice and wise words. I know I just got to get back on the plane.
I wanted to drive to FL from NY (Ronda) like you but my DH just wouldn’t do it. ( we went to Hawaii 15 years ago, it’s absolutely incredible!!! hint hint) The other factor is I have two cats!!! we are taking with us (they’ve flown a lot also) and driving would be 3 days there and 3 back.
I know, all those statistics … car accidents I’ve heard are much higher. It’s just the crashing part.
Funny, when you have a fear you can feed it or not.
Like I’m a Libra an air sign, afraid to fly… (that doesn’t make sense) and Natalie Wood (remember her) was always afraid of water and she died by water.
Iza, yes, counseling would be good. I live in NY though, they charge an arm and a leg for any counseling, I just can’t afford it. It would be interesting to do that though. I thought I might mention something to one of the priests at my church. I used to get through the take off by praying. That seems to have worked so far!
(re counseling: there’s this joke about being from Michigan like me: you have to find yourself running across your front yard NAKED before you admit you might have a problem and need help)
I wonder if our airport or airlines do have any sort of course, that’s interesting. I’ll check it out.
I’m glad to know the pilots have to go through a lot of training etc. (Did they ever decide to let them carry guns, I forgot.) It’s basically about bombs for me though.
Relinquishing Control. Umhmm. Well, ok! My dh is on the phone right now talking about visiting his mum and that’s a good thing. Swimming in pools! The resort where we’re going has a big tall slide in a huge pool so I’ll try to KEEP THINKING ABOUT THAT!!
We haven’t gone on a vacation in years and even though this is his business conference, it’s family friendly and well, I sure love to swim. thanks again
Take your knitting! Just remember that people are killed in car accidents every day, you have seen them yourself. That doesn’t make you stop driving or riding in cars right? The only difference is that you are used to being in cars, but you don’t fly every day. (actually two differences, the second is that flying is safer than being in a car)
On the road you have to worry about what other cars will do - one of them could hit you. That’s not going to happen on a plane! Just have your knitting close at hand and knit through takeoff!
Good luck
Sarah
I fly about once a year. I do not enjoy flying, and like you, I am not afraid of heights. I am afraid of crashing.
But these are the things I whisper under my breath whenever I start to feel a little queasy from the nervousness:
-Many, Many, Many more car accidents than airplane crashes occur every year. And I drive several times a day with minor issues. I’ve seen someone die at the site of a car accident. I’ve never seen a plane crash.
-If the plane does crash, chances are I will die instantly, and not suffer (I am not afraid of dying, it’s the pain that terrifies me!).
-The pilot doesn’t want to die today either.
I am a big baby when it comes to flying, but having a husband who gets air sick and a toddler who needs my attention really helps to get my mind off it. I almost always have to fly on one of those “toy” airplanes with the 12 year old pilot for at least one of my connecting flights…and I am still alive.
Go to Florida…Face the fear. If you can pick up sharp and pointy needles and face the imminent danger that arises from knitting, you can fly. You can do this.
I’m on the upper west side of Manhattan occasionally and I’m a [B]lot [/B]more afraid of the taxis than I am of flying. I do understand though that this isn’t a logic thing at all. Counseling would be a good idea. Good luck.
thanks again
A positive attitude will get you through the journey more easily and make it more fun!