oh, you are not kidding! It is very awkward!
Now, I'm going to be really, really honest with all of you here and tell you the real reason why it's gigantic.
I always fall into the trap that more work means more love. I overdo everything as a result. At some point I'm going to have to realize that I can't buy someone's love with my work. They either already love me or they never will, and no amount of effort will change it either way.
You can literally measure the massiveness of my insecurity by the size of this project. The real reason it's so huge because it's going to the son that left my home in a bad way when he was 22yrs old. But the woman he is marrying has done so much to heal our relationship. She is a wonderful good influence on him. I am so grateful to her. He's making efforts to stay communicating and keep our relationship opened up, instead of closing himself off. It's a major improvement. If it wasn't for her, I really feared I would lose him completely. Thus, I am compensating for the level of insecurity I felt about our relationship with the massiveness of the work. It's sick and twisted. Truly.
So, now that that's out in the open, thank you all for the therapy session. I really needed it!