K, I'm gonna ask a very personal knitting question here. (lol)....
are you a picker or a thrower?
I knitted for years before meeting a lady from Frankfurt and I always had been knitting as a thrower. (english, yarn in right hand throwin over the needles in question).She was a picker, (continental, yarn in left hand, just like crochet, and the right hand needle used to "pick" the yarn through the stitches).
I saw that her gauge was ummmmm "bloody hell perfect"!!! And mine was, fat row, skinny row!!! I had just about given up on figuring out how to fix it and was thinking o hell, it just makes it more personalized, blah blah blah, ya know.
She took me under her wing and showed me the way of the continental, I had seen the light...(angel voices, bells, lights.... ) I have been a picker ever since and my gauge is almost as perfect as hers (I still have some problems but not as bad as it was)'
Long story short here, you might want to try to switch your yarn feeding hand and see if that helps. It sure did me. I haven't looked back since, except to do stranding n stuff. but other than that....
There are wonderful videos here under the "view videos" tab. Just look for the "continental knitting" video and see if that helps.