Mothers and daughters....don't get me started!
My mother sounds like yours, always critical,wanting me to be like her, do what she does, like what she likes, never accepting me as me.
but I have learned over the years that it is almost impossible to change another person (even if they say they want to change). Most people don't even know how to change themselves!
So....what one can do is: change the way you respond to such insults and agressions (yes, a criticism is aggressive).
We have more control over our responses than we realize, but it sometimes takes time, and more than a little practice.
anyway, you have my sympathies. I know what that kind of hurt from your mother feels like, as I suffered it too. I am 62 now and my Mom is 82. She can't talk to me anymore as a stroke took away her ability to speak (although she can still make bossy movements, gestures etc....).
Good luck with yours! vent anytime you want to. I'll be here for you, with a sympathetic ear.