Hi everyone, thank you so much for your advice and thoughts! I haven't really stopped crying but more from the emotional intensity of the situation. I'm mostly crying for sheer relief and happiness!
So I finally did call her. And I spoked to her for 3 hours! We had so many questions for each other, and talked about so many things. Even something as simple as what we looked like, how tall we are, how do we wear our hair?!
It was the most amazing conversation and I'm still on a high! I'm shaking and I think I'm still in shock!
My brother is going to call her today as well, and I will talk to him tomorrow to find out how it goes. He's very nervous, just like I was. I think it will be fine because she is not pressuring us to reveal information that we don't want to. She doesn't want to intrude on our family, or cause problems or make waves. But my whole family is excited about this, the phone calls have been flying back and fourth! Even my nephews were excited to hear they might have a 'new auntie'.
As for my sister, she is married with two kids now. Since she was raised as an only child they are excited as well that they could have an uncle and an aunt.
She has been haunted all her life by us. By not knowing what happened to us, if we had a better life. And I have been haunted these last 10 years, not knowing her name, if she survived the past or was even alive. I think this was a burning quest for her, a lifetime of searching and wondering and feeling guilty. As a child she wondered what she did wrong to lose her brother and sister. She does have memories of us which gets me all weepy! My brother and I were always in foster homes so she mostly remembers visiting us there. But she remembers.
And now I know the answers to the questions that have been eating me up inside. It is such a weight lifted! It is indescribable this feeling! I'm sure I won't sleep a wink tonight wondering how it goes with my brother...
As for our birth father, I think I would be more inclined to forgive him and talk to him than my brother is. I have a feeling we'll be meeting our sister when i go home this August...and that I at least will meet our birth father. He raised our sister and they are now very close.
The prospect is both exciting and daunting! My sister (!!) has photos of us AND of our mother!!
Thank you for listening! I just have to have an outlet for all this emotion and experience! This is something that doesn't happen every day...only it did..it happened TODAY!!!