First, Im sending the BIGGEST HUGS I can muster.
Second, I work with seniors and, while you are not one, I see people and their families who have multiple challenges to face.
I can tell you that caregivers absolutely MUST take care of themselves.... physically, emotionally and spiritually, if they are expected to take GOOD care of their loved ones. I've seen people that, without meaning to, get burnt out taking care of someone they really love, and it affects not only the care they are able to give, but the quality of time they spend with that person. Relationships suffer and no one benefits.
It sounds like you are going to have a circle of care-giving at your house. If you are to take care of your son and your DH and do it WELL, if your DH is going to take care of you and your son like he will want to, you HAVE to take care of yourselves individually, too.
It sounds like you are ready to face your medical care plan head on...and GOOD for you! And, Im SO glad that you found that KH is the WONDERFUL community that it is....I have felt the compassion and kindness of friends here too many times to count already.
But, please dont be afraid to seek professional help as well. The most emotionally healthy, stable person in the WORLD would be knocked on their butt by all that you have had to face in the last year, and the promise of what's to come in the future for you, for your son, and the uncertainty of your DHs condition.
Your whole FAMILY is going to need all the strength you can gather. You are going to use all kinds of resources along your journey. Asperger's specialists and community organizations for your son, Parkinson's for you. Dont forget about the emotional support resources that will be available to you, as well.
Even when a family is fairly healthy, who says they cant get even BETTER and STRONGER together? Anything to avoid the possibility of burnt-out, you know?
I wish only the best for you... and Im sending MORE HUGS! Those are ALWAYS available here!