I think some people hate how much I am always on here asking advice about adjusting patterns for gauge. But if I can't get the gauge or tension I'm supposed to have, I just adjust the pattern to fit mine. I can knit MY WAY all day long. But if I am trying to hard to "get gauge", it never ends up the way I started.
Oh yeah, and yarn and needles. Sometimes the yarn I pick for things just doesn't work. But again, that's me.
Keep at it, you will bend that yarn to your iron will yet!