I knit a lace shawl for my MIL last fall. I actually started in July, but throughout July and August it was knit 3-4 inches....rip it out and start over....knit 5-6 inches, rip it out and start over. I think I finally posted a thread entitle, "Lace is kicking my butt!" (I'm guessing it's a pretty common response! )
At any rate, the thing for me was to use LOTS of lifelines, and don't take them out even when you think it's safe. Use stitch markers, and count the stitches between them frequently.
I finally found myself chanting the pattern aloud, stopping at the stitch marker, counting, and then starting again. Eventually, after about 4-5 restarts, I began to get the hang of it, and to see what the pattern was supposed to be looking like.
There should be a "resting row" somewhere, where it's mainly just a knit row or a row that purls back across...use those rows to count the entire row. (I would count at the end of every row for a while.
Also, if you can read your knitting, you can go back and look at the chart and your knitting and compare to see where the mistake is. If the chart is K,K, P, P YO P or whatever, and you have K K P P P, you know you left of the YO.
Also, watch the videos here to make sure you understand how the yo's are supposed to look when a K or a P is following...that can make a difference.
Hope that helps. I say stick with it! You can do it! (But maybe put a simple project on the needles to knit in the times of stress when you have to put the lace down or go insane. )