You knitting will evolve into the right tension for YOU. Each knitter's gauge is individual to them. Let it happen. If you consciously try to knit tighter or looser, eventually your mind will wander and you'll return to what's 'natural' for you.
I automatically start a swatch with a needle size larger than the pattern calls for because I know that I generally knit a little tighter than average. Occasionally, though I'm right on with the needle size suggested in the pattern. I have to assume that the designer knits a little tightly, too.
Just keep knitting.